The doctor from the Montreal clinic called me on Sunday afternoon. I really like her and we've only had the chance to meet with her once. She called because she was told I was concerned about the eligibility of our donor since D. has turned 37. However, before we discussed that she asked me how I was and how the surgery went. She just wanted to make sure I was feeling well and stuff.
Anyway, I explained that I thought their age limit was 36 and that with D. turning 37 a couple of months ago, that was going to change things. After all, we aren't going to be able to proceed with the IVF until I'm fully recovered from the surgery. She told me that 37 is their age limit so D. is still able to be our donor. Yeah! She said they have the same success rate with 36 and 37 year old donors - 60% success rate, and a 50% success rate for on going pregnancies beyond 12 weeks. That to me sounds like pretty good odds. We talked about my surgeon's request that we not get pregnant for 3 to 6 months. She said she doesn't usually require longer than 3 months because she doesn't find it makes a huge difference. She's suggest that we discuss it with Dr. L. at our follow up next month and see what she thinks. La Docteur (she's also Dr. L. so I'm not sure how to differeniate) said that if we can begin the protocol in September with our cycles in September, then by the time we reach the time to do the transfer (and it's interesting, she mentioned transferring 3 depending on embryo quality) it would be about 5 months anyway. So this is all good news!
So I tell V. all of this and say that we should be able to move forward in September. He says "if...." and I say "I know, I know, it's if we have the money". I know he's worried about it, and we've got other financial committments as well, but I wish he would be less pragmatic and get excited about this kind of news. I know he wants this as much as I do. But I also know he doesn't want me to get hurt or be disappointed.
So how do we find/raise the money? I hate ads on blogs and websites, and yes I'm guilty of putting the google ads on my pages. But I figure if I can raise money by people clicking them, then that's a start. I've clicked the links myself and some of the pages are interesting. So if I get 1000 clicks, I can raise half the required money. :) Then I wondered if anyone has ever had a "jack and jill" type event to raise funds for something like this? I've thought about putting together a casino night, but for that we require money to invest in it to get the poker tables and stuff, plus we'd then have to "come out of the closet" to friends and family who aren't aware of our struggle and what we're going through. The amount of money required for the tables and dealers isn't huge, but I'm not sure I'm ready for family to find out. If I had a talent at a craft like Julie, I'd have a raffle like she did. But alas, I am not. So that leaves asking friends or immediate family for a loan. V. and I are quite capable of repaying that loan, but with other financial committments, saving that money (in a timely fashion) isn't likely to happen. So I'm probably going to have to bite the bullet and speak to my family. Not a conversation I'm looking forward to. Sigh.... At least I don't have to do that just yet.
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I understand the situation Pam. I saved, but it was never enough for the surprise costs...I had no idea my medicated IUIs would run me so much, no idea that the extra ultrasounds in my IVFs added up...terrible. I had to ask my parents, which I felt so stupid anmd embarassed about. But they gave me money and seemed thrilled to be part of the process. Mind you, nothing was a secret, but I was thankful that they helped me get the chances I wanted. That's what matters - do what you have to do to get this chance. It could be the cycle that changes everything.
I'm more than willing to do up a stained glass window for a silent auction or raffle, hon.
Just let me know when.
I'm always kind of stuck when it comes to ideas for fundraising for IF/adoption costs.... the things that would draw the biggest crowds (trivia nights, raffles, etc.) are also the ones requiring the most money.
I think asking the family for a loan is probably the idea with the best chances of success, but there's a lot of emotional stuff to consider there too.
It all sucks. : (
I am so glad to hear that everything is still on track with your egg donor, that is great news. You should take Patti up on her offer, I'd bid on a stained glass window. I just clicked on your link - who cares that I don't need an asian egg donor!
That's fantastc news about your donor and I hope the money comes together for you soon.
Such good news that its still to plan, but I know exactly what you mean money wise, we're in the same boat right now.
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