tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-262546632024-03-07T03:53:38.427-05:00Baby Wanted: Apply WithinOur journey through infertility and our quest for a child.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.comBlogger363125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-45488574467248796342013-08-02T12:55:00.001-04:002013-08-02T13:45:43.581-04:00Check InIt's been almost 2 months since I last posted. <br />
I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about that last cycle. Possibly because we're still paying for it.<br />
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I think it was yesterday that my mind did the calculations as to where I'd be if we had been successful About 9 weeks I think - 3 weeks away from giving news to family. Ah well.<br />
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Anyway, we've moved on. We had no choice. The transfer was slap dab in the middle of the move from hell. We were moving out of a 2400 square foot rental home into what ended up being four, (4!!!) 16 foot storage containers. Our goal, had we even begun to start months earlier, had been to purge a lot of stuff and really get rid of what we didn't need, or use anymore. However, as seems to be our way, we delayed and procrastinated until it was too late. So, we spent the better part of May and June packing. Everything. We had the intention of downsizing drastically to move into a 2-3 bedroom apartment, basement even, in order to save money to clear debt and get into our own house. Well, things didn't work out that way.<br />
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We bought a house.<br />
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Yep, we did it! With the help of a company that works with people who don't have the down payment and a fantastic realtor, we were able to get into a great 3 bedroom back split about 10 minutes from where we were. It's a really great layout, in a terrific neighbourhood, and it even came with a hot tub! We closed (and moved in) June 28th. We ended up storing all of our stuff for a month and lived with my mom for 3 weeks. We told no one. We upset some people with the secrecy but a previous home buying experience 13 years ago that didn't pan out and caused us to lose the house of our dreams had us keep it all quiet. We weren't saying anything until we had those keys in our hand. Then we knew we'd done it.<br />
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So now we are living amongst a sea of boxes, well more like a mountain as that first container was ALL boxes. I've painted two of the three bedrooms so far (one was a must as it was a fuschia pink and gray) and will be moving on to the family room this weekend. The kitchen has been ripped out entirely (just the fridge and stove, not even a sink) as it is being replaced in the next 2 weeks. Yep, ripped out a bit prematurely by V but that's okay. We are slowly working our way through the boxes and purging as we go. There will be lots going. And we've done a fair bit of freecycling both before we moved and now.<br />
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So that's where we are now. I had to turn down a wedding cake order for the Labour Day weekend partially because I don't have a kitchen and don't have my equipment accessible, but moreso because we're on vacation the last week of August. We had plans to go to New York City for a few days. It's been a long time since either of us have been, and never together. We wanted to take in a few shows and I really wanted to go to the 9-11 memorial. However, we've cancelled those plans because WE BOUGHT A HOUSE! So I'm okay with that. It was going to be partly an early birthday trip for me as well. As I said to V, we'll just go over Valentine's Day. So, hopefully we can do that.<br />
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Oh and on a completely unrelated note, I've given up on Feedly as a reader. I was on Google Reader and moved over to Feedly before July 1st. And it worked fine. Until about 2 weeks ago when it decided that it was no longer going to show me my unread posts. Which made it really difficult to see which blogs had updated. So yesterday I switched over to The Old Reader. So far so good. It has the look of Google Reader and I like it.<br />
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Anyway, that's all there is for now.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-64377980678031048372013-06-06T14:45:00.002-04:002013-06-06T14:45:33.808-04:00NegativeThere's really not much else to say.<br />
We're done.<br />
They said they've put me back on the list, but I don't think so.<br />
It's time to move on.<br />
Sigh. <br />Not what I wanted.<br />
Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-63106818225240256952013-05-23T17:38:00.001-04:002013-05-23T17:38:15.710-04:00Two on boardSo today was transfer day. My call was for 12 noon with a full bladder, arriving 15 minutes before.<br />
I was up early although I had gone to bed really late. I was doing packing and getting stuff tied up for recycling last night and wanted to get it done. Plus I was watching the last few episodes of season 4 of True Blood.<br />
<br />Anyway, I let the house about 10 minutes later than planned for no good reason. Traffic was normal and so I arrived about 11:55am, so that 10 minutes made me late. But I still was Zen. I had been told by the business manager to stop stressing about money and just be Zen. So I paid attention. :)<br />
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I arrived at the IVF suite and got changed into those lovely booties, and two gowns. I had chugged about a litre of water as I was driving down but I wasn't getting the full bladder feeling. I signed the form they gave me with the instructions following transfer, handed in the signed consent form (even though they had a scanned copy) and waited perhaps 10 minutes at which point the nurse came back and said "ready to go into the room"? Sure. Apparently the doctor was on his way over. So he was definitely on schedule and it sounded like I was the first procedure. I saw another woman waiting with her husband when I went in for my transfer but he wasn't there when I came out so she must have been in for a retrieval. <br />
<br />I assume the position. There really is no way to describe just how naked you feel when he's got you all exposed and legs in the stirrups. LOL. The ultrasound tech came in and was quick to get in position. And my concern about not having a full bladder? Gone as soon as she pressed down. Definitely a full bladder.<br />
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One of the three didn't survive the thaw, so we had two to transfer. He had the embryologist show my name on the dish and then show me the embryos on screen (I didn't have my phone so didn't get a photo). These were three day embryos. I didn't ask how many cells because it wouldn't have made a difference. They were going in and I was staying Zen. :) But he did say they were excellent and they did look really good to me. So, it was but a few minutes later when he said "all done, perfect transfer". And that was it. I lay there another 10 minutes and that was it.<br />
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I've taken it easy today. I know the rules - no heavy lifting, no strenuous exercise (no worries there), stay on all meds. Beta is June 6th. If we get a positive, then when I'm back for the second beta I'll do another intralipid infusion.<br />
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So let the two week wait begin. Hopefully there will be enough distraction. LOL.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-73911788789472729672013-05-19T10:38:00.000-04:002013-05-19T10:38:18.895-04:00We have ignition and are moving towards liftoff<div sab="126">
I was back at the clinic on the 16th for cycle monitoring and the Intralipid infusion.</div>
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I was booked for 8:30am for the intralipid so I needed to get in before that for ultrasound and blood work. Their process has definitely improved since I was last there.</div>
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I got down a bit later than I had planned only because I left a little later and didn't know what the traffic would be like. So I was in the clinic about 8:15am. I signed up on the doctor's list and marked that I would be over in the OR for the Intralipid so he wouldn't see me until later. I then signed up on the ultrasound list and took my number (23) and walked over to sign in for blood. I think I waited maybe 5 minutes before my name was called. I went back over to wait to be called for ultrasound. It shouldn't have been more than 15 minutes because I heard them call "19, 20, 21, 22, 24)....what??? Where's 23? Turns out my file was over on the OR side so they had to go get it before they could call me. It was about another 10 minutes before I was called and told to wait by one of the U/S rooms.</div>
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By the time I got over to the OR for the Intralipid it was about 9-9:15am.</div>
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One of my favourite nurses from 2010 is now the manager over there, so it was nice to see her. She didn't think I'd remember her. :)</div>
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Anyway, they went through the necessary steps to get the IV in and get me all hooked up. I'm sitting in one of their reclining massage chairs. I got it positioned with my feet and head back to a comfortable position and turned off the massage and settled in for the next 2 hours. I just wanted to be comfy to watch my Tr.ue Blo.od episodes on my iPad. It's a painless process. They hooked up saline first and then hooked up the Intralipid which is this white soy/egg based product. They asked me 3 times if I was allergic to either (I'm not) and then it was going. I had a blood pressure cuff on the whole time which took my pressure every 15 minutes. Once it was done, they ran saline through the line to make sure it was all through. Then I was disconnected from the IV and headed back over to the other side to see the doctor and the nurse.</div>
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It was about 11:30am when I got back over and barely busy. I checked back in at the desk so they knew I was back and went to sit down. I saw the Doctor in an office finishing up a file so I'm thinking "great, it won't be too long". Next thing I know I see him at the desk and then watch him head over to the OR. Damn! He's gone to do a procedure or two. So I head back to the desk and express my displeasure that he didn't see me before he went over because it could be another 1-2 hour wait for me. Apparently the person I checked in with had gone for lunch and not mentioned that I was waiting so he didn't know. In any case, my rather frustrated tone got my point across that I had been there since 8:15am and doing the intralipid so waiting wasn't acceptable. Turns out he had a retrieval and a transfer and at that time he was almost done the retrieval. So my wait was about 15 additional minutes before I saw him. </div>
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We set transfer for the 23rd (they'll call with a time) because he's in surgery on the 24th and he said my lining was good. It was 12 and as I said to him, I've never had an issue building my lining. So then I headed back out and ran into my nurse who I had to see next. </div>
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She really is awesome. She's made every effort to get it set up so that I could buy all of my meds through the pharmacy rather than through the clinic. In the past I've always had to buy the progesterone in oil from the clinic because it was specially formulated for them. It still is, but it's made by the pharmacist who is in the pharmacy in the building. So, I was able to go down and get all the meds I need. However, it turns out that because the PIO is a compounded medication, I still had to pay for it and will have to submit for reimbursement. That's okay because I can buy the number of vials I need if funds are low that week. Each vial is 5 injections so I can time it as needed. </div>
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So, I'm still taking 4mg of Estrace three times a day, and 5mg of Prednisone twice a day. I am still doing the 81mg low dose aspirin, plus I take 5mg of Folic Acid, 100mg B6 and 1000mcg of B12, and I've added a multi vitamin.</div>
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She's now added, starting on the 20th, 100mg of Doxycycline twice a day for three days. This is a standard antibiotic that is used before all transfers. I'm to take 16mg of Medrol once a day for 4 days starting on the 20th as well. They had just started using Medrol when I was there in 2010 but I never got the chance to see if it would help us. It's used to aid in implantation. Also on the 20th we're starting the PIO, 2ml once a day. In the past, I've never been told that there is a time in the day that would be better to do the injection so I've always had V give me the shot before I head to bed as there is more time. However, she told me that she recommends that it be given in the morning because you're moving around for the rest of the day, rather than relaxing or going to bed, so it's easier for it to dissipate. I still have to look up the best ways to "prep" the area before the shot. LOL. And finally, I'm going to be adding 2500iu of Fragmin (which is the same as heparin) starting the day of transfer. </div>
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I did find out from our benefits companies that mine won't pay for the Intralipid at all (not a surprised) and V's says no but seems to have a way it might be covered. The Canadian Drug Association says it has to be administered by a hospital to be covered which means the hospital covers it. However the clinic is part of the hospital system here, so I'm going to get a letter from them stating this in the hopes we can get these infusions covered. At $330 per infusion, it would be really good to get it covered.</div>
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So I've had the first infusion which is given 7-10
days prior to the transfer date. So because we did the the intralipid on May 16 it would be
optimal for the embryo transfer to take place between <span class="aBn" data-term="goog_2113427857" tabindex="0"><span class="aQJ">May 23 and May 26</span></span>. So we're set for the 23rd. If
pregnancy is achieved, the second intralipid would be scheduled within 2-5 days
of a positive blood test. I'm hoping we reach that point and then I'll try for a Saturday infusion so I don't have to be late for work. The intralipid are then scheduled at 6 weeks,
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I've also spoken with the business manager and arranged a payment plan which spreads the payments out over three months...four really based on when I asked her to hold the second payment to after June 28th. She offered to wait until after my billing date. :) My first installment needs to be paid before transfer. Normally I would have stopped in just before transfer but she won't let me. LOL. I will send her an email this week to have her charge my card and she'll leave me a copy of the receipt. And she told me to be zen. LOL....not let any stress get to me at all.</div>
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I'm trying not to let hope creep in yet. But it's hard. Everything is just falling into place this time, like it is meant to be. </div>
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All bits are crossed.</div>
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Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-44131110947321555802013-05-07T16:40:00.000-04:002013-05-07T16:56:30.640-04:00And so it begins for a final timeWe are at the commencement of our final DE FET cycle.<br />
I was at the clinic yesterday for what they called a follow up appointment, even though it's not really. They booked me that way rather than as a new patient, even though I probably still had the same blood work done.<br />
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So I arrived for my noon appointment, on time. Went through about 10-15 minutes while they tried to figure out where my chart would be since I was last there June 2010. Yep, three years almost exactly. In the end they found it down in their archive department.<br />
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So, as usual, I took up my seat in the waiting room because I needed to see him first. However, nothing has changed in the three years. Did I really expect it to? Nope. Anyway, as before, at that time, he's basically finished seeing his daily monitoring patients, with just a few still lingering. So he is back and forth between the OR and the offices as he performs retrievals and transfers, seeing patients in between.<br />
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I had arrived with a full bladder as requested. About 12:30, I knew it would be a wait so I went to "pee a little". At 1:30pm I went to ask how much longer because at this point. the bladder is full again. They were going to call over to the OR to see how long. I went and "peed a little" again although this time it was a little more than before. Ah, sweet relief. Do you know how hard it is to stop peeing when you need to go? He finally saw me at 1:45pm. This is why I didn't bring V to this appointment. It really wasn't necessary. I knew the drill. And besides, he works nights, so he was supposed to be sleeping.<br />
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Anyway, in sitting down with him, I brought him up to speed as to why it took us so long to get back to do this cycle. As you all know it's been predominantly funds. We're finally at the point where we have the money to do the cycle. There isn't any overage really. He says the three donor embryos are good. We shouldn't be concerned that they've been frozen since 2002. The donor couple had four frozen but in 2006 they thawed one. So I extrapolated and figure they were successful twice with this batch. The were probably successful with their initial retrieval, or possibly a FET. Then they thaw one and don't need the other three.....so, I figure two kids from this bunch of embryos. We should have a decent chance of success. He didn't say otherwise. So, he goes through everything, asks where I am in my cycle (CD2) and then says, do you want to start now. So I said sure, why not. I supposed one more month wouldn't have killed me considering we're moving in 3 weeks, and transfer would be around the 23/24th. He mentioned we're going to do the usual 4mg of estrace three times a day, 5mg progesterone twice a day, and an 81mg baby aspirin once a day. I've been taking 5mg folic acid, the baby aspirin, 100mg of B6 and 1000mcg of B12 every day for the last three years, so I'm already on the baby aspirin. He'll also add in the 2500iu of Fragmin starting the day of transfer. Plus he wants to add in Intralipid 20%. More on that in a bit. He wanted me to go for full blood work, full ultrasound, see a nurse, then him again, and also wanted me to get an ECG done.<br />
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So, I hit the vampire lounge. She used a butterfly needle (they don't usually) and I didn't feel a thing. Seriously, not even the pin prick. She then proceeded to fill about 16 vials. Then, back to my seat in the waiting room.<br />
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On to the ultrasound. At this point I'm feeling comfortable. I can tell the bladder should be okay even if she were to do it now. About 10 minutes later I think, she called me back and did the ultrasound. Mid point I was able to completely empty my bladder. She even said dry dry. She didn't want anything in it. LOL. I did my best. Then it was back to the waiting room.<br />
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I've lost track of timing at this point but it's probably close to 2:45 or 3pm. The DE nurse called me back. I gave her the sad story of why we had taken three years to get back into the clinic. She was sympathetic to the delay and understanding about the finances as I explained we now had the funds for the cycle. She then goes over what the RE had said in regards to the meds. She also gets me "compassionate" meds - a new bottle of the Estrace which will keep me going for just over 2 weeks and 7 syringes of the Fragmin as well. I'll just get prescriptions for them later as they're covered on our plans thankfully.<br />
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So I am due back in on the 16th for cycle monitoring and will probably transfer all three embryos on May 23rd. When he asked how many we were transferring I said all of them. He said "are you prepared for twins?" I answered with a yes. And when we were out at the reception desk as he got the different requisitions, he mentioned selective reduction. I said we'd face that if we had the opportunity. So, I just want to get to transfer at this stage.<br />
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She then gets into explaining this <a href="http://www.intralipids.co.uk/intralipids-in-ivf.html" target="_blank">Intralipid 20%</a>. Apparently there have been studies that how shown that it it makes the uterus more hospitable to the embryo aiding in implantation The implanting embryo is being fought by the body's immune system, and this reduces that possibility. It is being used for those who have had repeat failures but my RE mentioned it in terms of my age as well. Another helpful article is this <a href="http://blog.bourn-hall-clinic.co.uk/intralipids-may-offer-hope-for-those-affected-by-repeated-ivf-failure/" target="_blank">one</a>. She explains that it's administered intravenously and can take 2-3 hours. So I would go in for cycle monitoring then held over to the OR suite where the procedures are done and have them hook me up. So then she drops the bomb<em> </em>that I didn't even think of when the RE mentioned it. The cost. It's $300 per application. The first one would be next week, May 16th which is the 10th day of the cycle. And then, if pregnancy is achieved, it's every two weeks until 12 weeks. So that means 5 additional applications depending on when they start. That's an additional $1500 which was not budgeted. So now the cost of this cycle has almost doubled. And the kicker is that even though this has a DIN number, it's not covered under either of our plans and V has a really good plan. So that's an out of pocket expense. And it has to be paid for before they give it to you.<br />
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So now I'm back to we don't have the all money we need. I know it's not something I have to do. But the studies seem to indicate it's a good thing, and he's recommending it. I don't think he suggests these things just for the hell of it. I've also been reading on line on different forums that people have used it and been successful when previous IVF cycles haven't worked.<br />
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I know V. He's looking at the overall cost, and I don't blame him. We've budgeted for the cost of the cycle and the PIO (sort of) which is reimbursable. So, what do I do? I don't have money coming out of my butt nor do I have a money tree growing in the backyard (I wish). On top of all of this we're moving in 3 weeks and may end up at my Mom's for a month while we fine a place. We still haven't got anything to move into. So we've got moving costs, storage expenses. Do I contact the business office and see if they'll let me work out a payment plan of some sort? If the expense had been reimbursable, I could have probably made some sort of payment plan knowing that the $300 was coming back to be applied to the next application. <br />
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Sigh.....why does something always happen to us just when things seem to be going our way???Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-42783412821587662162013-04-11T22:11:00.003-04:002013-04-11T22:11:50.889-04:00It's been almost three monthssince I last posted. It could be because there hasn't really not much going on here. However, I've been meaning to put up some pictures and fill you in on some things, so I'll just go with bullet points. Probably easier to list things that way.<br />
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<ul>
<li>We had a great visit with <a href="http://thehardestquest.blogspot.ca/">Gil, hubby and Petite</a> last month. It was so great to be able to hang out for a weekend rather than our usual 2 hour brunch when we're in their neck of the woods.</li>
<li>DH is working a hellish schedule right now but it's lots of overtime. Although I don't see him much because he's working nights the OT will be helpful in our need for first and last for our upcoming move. We've seen a number of things but nothing has been perfect. We saw a place this week that would have been okay, but the appliances weren't full size. I could have lived with them, but really, why puts a super small fridge in an apartment and a smaller than full size stove? We're still looking, but confident we'll find something soon . We have to be out by the end of May and there is lots of stuff out there.</li>
<li>I got in touch with the clinic this week to make sure there weren't any surprises. Our savings schedule had us on track for May which is about 4 weeks. However when I heard back from the nurse, although everything is in place (we have three embryos with our names on them) the price has gone up again, only $250, but still, that's an extra two weeks. So, it looks like it could be June. I'm trying to be as optimistic as possible for this cycle. </li>
<li>They've also requested that since it's been a few years since I was a a patient, they want a new referral from my family doctor (I've never really understood that request) and I need to go in to meet with the RE before we cycle. I'm assuming it's more to go over everything and run initial bloodwork in case he wants additional testing. So, I've spoken to my family doctor's secretary and she's getting the referral taken care of and I'm booked in for what they're calling a follow up appointment with the RE on May 6th. I just happens that this appointment is going to fall right around my next CD2. So who knows, if the funds are in place, we might be able to start right then. Not holding my breath. We've had so many things get in the way....</li>
<li>So since we last met, I've been busy baking. I've finally mastered the art of the cake ball. I've always had this aversion to them because of the texture. However, I had cake and icing left over after making my brother's birthday cake (more on that in a minute) so I gave it a whirl. They were a chocolate cake with a bit of a chocolate swiss meringue butter cream, dipped into either white chocolate or dark chocolate.</li>
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<li>February is a busy month for birthdays in my family. However, the only person who had a significant birthday was my younger brother. He didn't want a party (he was hanging with his friends the night before) and just wanted a family dinner at my Mum's for my mother, me, DH and himself. My mother had asked me to make a cake for him. We've always had a family birthday cake since we were all small, what we've always referred to as "cc and ic" which is chocolate cake and ice cream. She expected a standard 8" round cake for him, as did him. I did use the family recipe but changed up the icing to my SMBC. But for two years I've had a cake in mind for him with the expectation that he would be having a party, so a larger cake than your standard 8" round. I decided to screw that and make what I always was intending to make. My brother has played the violin since he was 9 years old. He's very good. So now, in his free time he has a trio that plays clubs, bars, weddings etc. So, I made him a life size violin. I have to say that at that time this was my most challenging to date but I'm extremely proud of the way it turned out. And he loved it! My mother was astounded.</li>
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<li>Whenever I go in for a hair cut, my hairdresser's assistant always asks to see the latest cakes. When I went in a month ago, the latest cake was the violin. My hairdresser, who never gets overly awed by any of the cakes, reacted completely differently. He was astounded and very impressed, so much so that he took my phone and went and showed someone else. He then sat down and told me he wanted to discuss business (very seriously and all) and asked how much for a guitar cake. His oldest son was turning 30 (which was a milestone and celebration because he has an illness and wasn't expected to live past 11) and he played the guitar. He was looking for an actual size guitar. This order was more challenging in that the violin because it was much bigger. The board it's sitting on is 24"x48". It was definitely my most challenging cake so far. It wasn't perfect, but everyone was very impressed. And it tasted good too!</li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP5v89ExqvcV8kpMFjm2u9VJ3TtwrgnxuluG60ob5Z4rAf6JM_iQHLlRpfofgwBG7M4ndVrrbwYi06Ch9-v1Sg2LJmqep6D2EuTxV4ZjOC_ckcPgYyKGCjecL2HH7wrY1g7b6f/s1600/guitar+cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP5v89ExqvcV8kpMFjm2u9VJ3TtwrgnxuluG60ob5Z4rAf6JM_iQHLlRpfofgwBG7M4ndVrrbwYi06Ch9-v1Sg2LJmqep6D2EuTxV4ZjOC_ckcPgYyKGCjecL2HH7wrY1g7b6f/s320/guitar+cake.jpg" width="182" /></a></div>
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<ul>
<li>Finally, V and I will be married 10 years in 2014. I can't believe how fast the time has passed, and we've been TTC for most of that time. Anyway, two couples we are friends with will be married 15 years and 20 years in 2014. For the last 5 years we've talked about going on a trip together to celebrate our anniversaries. It was supposed to be a 5-10-15 trip, but it's going to be the 10-15-20 trip. And it's happening for sure. We've gotten together to start planning budget, destination(s) and timing. It looks like August 2014. We're not sure yet, but we wanted it to be somewhere none of us has ever been, and we wanted it to be a unique. This is going to be fun!</li>
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Anyway, that's all there is for now. I'm putting cakes on hold until after the move. It's possible that I'll have to limit what I do due to space limitations. I'll keep baking, but guitar's may not be on the list. LOL.<br />
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Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-84325270769572917422013-01-23T16:15:00.000-05:002013-01-23T16:15:21.136-05:00I'm still here....I'm not sure if anyone else is though. LOL.<br />
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Apparently I last posted in September. That's pretty sad. But then again, there hasn't been a whole lot going on.<br />
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V and I still have to move, that hasn't changed, but we're seriously considering a huge downsize. It's time we took control of our living situation, and not gave that control to someone else. So we're considering moving into a 2 bedroom (maybe 3 depending on price) apartment and purging everything we don't require. We are currently in a large 4 bedroom house and have tons of stuff. So, we are planning on liquidating everything we don't need. For those of you who know us IRL, that's huge. Our plan is to give ourselves 1-2 years in this new place with the expectation that at the end of that period we will have cleaned up our finances AND saved enough for a downpayment. I think it's do-able.<br />
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V and I had the above conversation in the car on our way back from a weekend visit to my BIL/SIL in our nation's capital. Ad we were lucky enough to meet up with Gil, her DH and Petite. Three hours sitting around a table is just not long enough. But, we've got a weekend tentatively booked for them to come hang out with us. Woohoo!!! <br />
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During that converstion, I posed the question to V. "what if our final cycle is successful" in regards to space in this new place. There was silence to which I added "or don't you want to do this anymore". I knew I had put him on the spot, and when he said "I didn't want to have this conversation in the car", I knew my answer. We had a frank conversation as we drove. He explained how he felt and why, and that he didn't want me to have to go through this anymore. We had tried so many times. I explained to him that with the failed cycle 3 years ago, we never got the chance to do the last attempt, and with that cycle we were doing a number of things differently in the hopes it was the one. I told him that I needed to do this final cycle, that I had to do it. It would be the only way I would be able to close the book on this chapter of our lives, regardless of the outcome. I also told him that we almost had all of the funds we needed through my saving each month and that given our current saving scheme, I figured about 10 weeks would be it. He was worried that if the cycle fails that he will have a partner who will always be sad and unhappy. I assured him that this wasn't the case. Yes I would be sad, but I wouldn't let it affect us or our relationship, and that time would heal everything. So, given our conversation we are back on track and hoping to accelerate the saving plan to get to our goal before the end of March.<br />
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So, to close out, I figured I'd give you some photos of some of the projects I had in the November and December.<br />
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These were some of the cookies I did in November for my cousin's daughter's wedding.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHc6nSLtwYjoKgQSPOarTPz0W9S6HhlShb-VF2MBHDiK09EDNdw54XA7G9oeQcEHmzhd4lNWWOdU9TWh6hIuesCTxuj3plooEtR-jcEq3RwTFm61_6MsBrE2gA4H60PjQdTjmy/s1600/20121104_234514.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="191" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHc6nSLtwYjoKgQSPOarTPz0W9S6HhlShb-VF2MBHDiK09EDNdw54XA7G9oeQcEHmzhd4lNWWOdU9TWh6hIuesCTxuj3plooEtR-jcEq3RwTFm61_6MsBrE2gA4H60PjQdTjmy/s320/20121104_234514.jpg" /></a></div><br />
These next two pics are of chocolate covered strawberries also done for the wedding, made to look like tuxedos and wedding gowns. I did some in milk and some in dark chocolate.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv3pe-DAv1I0eLA3rsb9wgh-uK6FC1DCM3qd_zBfjgtY8-UL1wW5JTJNvHfE1G0jrGwsATYL6okeu1MxXHWiCdwqkxk4QWNJD0L1DZi_nxpAyduClNT1IWu-l6fBUnYvTHuYNu/s1600/20121116_040851.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="209" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv3pe-DAv1I0eLA3rsb9wgh-uK6FC1DCM3qd_zBfjgtY8-UL1wW5JTJNvHfE1G0jrGwsATYL6okeu1MxXHWiCdwqkxk4QWNJD0L1DZi_nxpAyduClNT1IWu-l6fBUnYvTHuYNu/s320/20121116_040851.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc-_MP6KzV7T6p5AEcBBaX9ibPgu_2HgMsbnsZ5T6oBUFBQd4pbZjhE7Q-UTD_iqo9n-IvDpv4jgiFdVJv2hdEWFpqLDiXf1s5aNqtOiaN2A4SCsAmvg4zvXoOWrEweXPoCov6/s1600/20121116_040955.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="228" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc-_MP6KzV7T6p5AEcBBaX9ibPgu_2HgMsbnsZ5T6oBUFBQd4pbZjhE7Q-UTD_iqo9n-IvDpv4jgiFdVJv2hdEWFpqLDiXf1s5aNqtOiaN2A4SCsAmvg4zvXoOWrEweXPoCov6/s320/20121116_040955.jpg" /></a></div>The Jack Skellington cookies were done as a surprise for the daughter of a my "sister from another mister". She is a huge fan of the movie franchise and I knew she would get a kick out of them.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHDY3WsamItqiglHgNvwKk2xQ6wpcvrIwRUKhXTowpOPdgwluz5P23pD_ucUr1X0lgCoUdNQOUW_INUxNJX3xzYbR1CvTr-uUNgCF_BM98wQE-GLLSF_LFjofxWKrBsSA8rzby/s1600/20121203_204308-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="277" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHDY3WsamItqiglHgNvwKk2xQ6wpcvrIwRUKhXTowpOPdgwluz5P23pD_ucUr1X0lgCoUdNQOUW_INUxNJX3xzYbR1CvTr-uUNgCF_BM98wQE-GLLSF_LFjofxWKrBsSA8rzby/s320/20121203_204308-1.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Finally, this was the 4th birthday cake for her little brother<br />
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Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-1053319470512209582012-09-26T15:22:00.006-04:002012-09-26T16:04:28.599-04:00Happy Birthday to me.Yep, today is my birthday. It's really nothing special. V and I have on plans, perhaps grab sushi for dinner. I'm not even making myself a cake. :) I've had enough cake lately due to some family gatherings to last me a while. And since we have a wedding in 6 weeks, I'm trying to be good. I've still got my goal to lose 10-20lbs by the time we're finally able to cycle. I'm hoping that might happen in 6 months. I feel like I keep pushing the date back. Sigh. It's always something. The lastest wrench we got thrown at us was by our landlord who came to tell us personally that she will be selling the house. Not immediately, thankfully. She's given us as much time as we need, but likely March or April next year. So add that the the pile of financial requirements we have. I really feel that sometimes we're being told to give up this idea of a child, and move on to something else. Except I can't. I know that I'm in a minority (at least in our cirlces) where at 52 I could be having our first (and only) child.<br />
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I hope my birthday wish comes true.<br />
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Edited to add:<br />
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Oh, and today is Yom Kippur, the holiest of days in the Jewish calendar. As most of you may recall, although Jewish, I'm not observant, so I'm not fasting and I don't go to services. This is the third time it's fallen on this day. It happens every 19 years, so on previous occurences, I got to celebrate by fasting. We usually ended up having the birthday dinner another night.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-81557567175115720122012-09-01T21:05:00.002-04:002012-09-01T21:37:01.479-04:00Still here...but nothing is going on.<br />
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It's been quite a while since I posted...June or July I think. I figured it was time to say "I'm still here". But there isn't anything happening. It's been a quiet summer really. V has been working as have I. No cakes to do since June, although that hasn't stopped me from making cupcakes etc, just because. We are still plugging along putting money aside little by little. <br />
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My birthday is in 3 weeks. I had really hoped to have cycled by then but that isn't going to happen. I really, really can't be doing this in a year or it will all have been a big waste of time. According to the RE's office, this birthday is the start of my last year of being able to try. I need to be able to put closure on this whole journey either by knowing we've been successful, or ..... (I'm not saying it out loud). I'm aiming for March at this point. That's 7 months. More than enough time to save the remaining funds we need. I'm also going to make a concerted effort to try and drop some of this weight. Even it it's just 20lbs, I'll be happy with that. I've found it extremely hard over the last 6 months to get it to budge. <br />
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As those of you who follow me on FB know, I had started a running program on July 1st. I was quite determined and really stuck with it for 5 weeks although there was no change in my weight. I had to put it on hold August 6 due to a major flare up of plantar fascitis. It's been three weeks and I've not been able start up again. I've got some insoles from bare.foot sci.ence on order and they should help and hopefully let me get back on the treadmill. Because right now, it can be quite painful just to walk. I'd really like to get back to that Couch to 5K program I started. I don't really have any desire to run a 5K but just that I could do so would be enough. <br />
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Anyway, I continue to read most blog even though I may not comment. So if you're writing, I'm reading.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-8940936378819697952012-07-02T15:13:00.000-04:002012-07-02T15:13:09.815-04:00I am a bad blogger. Anyone still out there?I can't believe I last blogged on February 29th. That's terrible!<br />
It's probably because there's really nothing been happening. When last we spoke we were a couple of months away from having the funds we needed. However, due to circumstances, we had to borrow from them and we're back to replenishing them. To say I'm not disappointed would be a lie, but it is what is is and we'll roll with it. I know that it will happen.<br />
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So in the mean time I give you cakes that I have worked on in the last 8 weeks.<br />
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I'm not sure I've ever mentioned it, but on of V's favourite foods is pancakes. His birthday is the our long weekendin May and we always have a big barbeque for the start of the summer BBQ season. So I made him a pancake cake for his birthday. I didn't get a picture of it cut, but it was a vanilla cake with a strawberry swiss meringue buttercream.<br />
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The following weekend we were celebrating my sister in law's birthday. She was having a big birthday in our nation's capital, so I had to make a cake that was going to be able to travel 4 hours. On top of that, we were in the midst of a heat wave and our a/c was out. Needless to say, this one was a challenge, but I'm thrilled with how it turned out. Seventies themed inside and out. :) This was a vanilla cake with vanilla-orange buttercream.<br />
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Next up was my cousin's son's Bar Mitzvah. All year long Evan had been telling me and everyone else I was making his cake. When the date was coming up, V, his mom and I decided that the best was an iPad cake since it was the one device he was hoping to get. The cake was a devils food cake with a chocolate buttercream.<br />
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After a weekend off, my nephew's son was turning 3 and he asked me to make his birthday cake. His son wanted a Hulk cake so this is what I came up with. His was a triple chocolate fudge cake with a vanilla buttercream.<br />
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And finally, my mother in law's birthday was last weekend. She had planned a large party and asked if I would make her cake. Since she had decided to have a prayer meeting to start, V suggested a book cake so I wrote her favourite psalm on it. This is a vanilla cake and a vanilla buttercream.<br />
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<br />Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-54313539042200189662012-02-29T16:47:00.003-05:002012-03-01T16:14:48.192-05:00Update of sorts - UPDATED!I can't believe it's been 8 weeks since I last posted. I can't say that there's been any great reason to post. No news. No cakes.<br /><br />However, I do have an update of sorts now. Since just before Christmas I've been setting aside any funds I've made from cakes, cookies and lottery scratch tickets. I've managed to save what I thought was about 33% of what we needed. With that, and another plan in place we have, we calculated that we should be good to go in June. That's only three months away! I was very pleased. <br /><br />However, I voiced a fear to V that I had been holding off contacting the clinic because I was afraid that a) the price had gone up, b) they'd given away the embryos we'd decided on because it was almost a year later, or c) that the clinic might have changed their guidelines regarding age and lowered it, aging me out of the program. V said just send the email. So I did on Monday. And it bounced. Which meant that the coordinator of the program last April was no longer with the clinic. Great.<br /><br />So, I had to call the clinic to find out who had taken over the program. i didn't want to have to explain to multiple people why I was calling, so rather than actually talk to someone there, I listened to their, now very long, outgoing message to hear all the different numbers to call for nurses, cycle monitorig, sperm bank, yada yada yada. I had to listen twice to hear the number for the Ovum Donor Coordinator. I figured that was a good place to start. I called the number and she's on vacation but she left the name and number of the person covering for her. Oh goody. So I called her and got her voice mail. I left a somewhat rambling message about why I was calling, hoped she was the right person and left my cell number. <br /><br />She called back the next morning. While I was in the shower. So I missed her call. But that's okay. She wasn't the right person, but rather than ask me to call her, she left me the name of the person and her email address. I think that may have been because I'd indicated that I'd sent an email initially. In any case, I'm glad she did because it allowed me to compose a comprehensive email for the Embryo Donation Coordinator.<br /><br />I sent off an email that provided a brief history of our DE IVF cycles and their outcomes. As well I outlined what had taken place since our final (cancelled) cycle in July 2010 in terms what we experienced regarding booking the counseling session, actually meeting with the counselor, how long it took to get the report, choosing and locking in a profile and the unexpected loss of my father-in-law in July. I felt it was important that she knew why we hadn't moved forward as planned and that we hadn't flaked out on them. I told her that besides introducing ourselves in the email, I wanted to make sure that everything was still on track for us.<br /><br />I heard back from her today with answers to two of my three questions.<br /><br />1. Cost - we were working with a figure of $2200 as told to us, in July 2010, for the cycle. Apparently that's now jumped to $3000. Ack!!!<br />2. Age - I was worried that I'd aged out and wanted to be sure that my RE still worked with women to age 52 when using donor embryos. Apparently I am still eligible up to my 53rd birthday. Score!!!<br />3. I wanted to make sure that we still had the embryos that we had locked in with the previous coordinator in April 2011. Her response indicates that she can't answer this question. My file is pretty big, so I'm sure she's going through it, especially the last stuff with the previous coordinator. But her response of: <br /><br />"I am trying to get to the bottom of your file and see if everything is in place - since ashley left we have 'revamped' the program so I just need to get all your paper work up to speed and will be back to you with more details this week." <br /><br />I'm really hoping this does not mean that somewhere someone dropped the ball and another couple got the embryos we selected. If it means that there are more to choose from, and possibly interracial embryos (a real long shot), then it's not too bad. But when we were presented with profiles, we were given three. And we chose the couple that had used an egg donor in her 20s. The other two profiles had the women in their mid-late 30s. If this is our last shot, I want to optimize our chances if possible.<br /><br />Anyway, that's where we are now. I've sent back an email asking her to clarify why the fee went up so much in 18 months (if she can). I've told her that it doesn't change our intent, just will delay us a little longer. As I said to V, the silver lining in all this is that even though I really want to do this cycle sooner rather than later, I don't have to get in there before September.<br /><br /><br />UPDATE:<br /><br />I heard back from the coordinator. She doesn't know why the price has gone up but she did confirm that there are three 3-day embryos waiting for us whenever we're ready to go. So I'm feeling a bit better about this now. When we're able to do the cycle I'll get in touch and then go in on CD2 or CD3.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-76737535214946001012012-01-05T11:20:00.004-05:002012-01-05T12:52:51.258-05:00Happy New YearI know, I'm five days late to say that, but better late than never. :)<br /><br />I hope you all enjoyed your holidays and I wish everyone health, happiness and prosperity in the coming year. And I hope that you all achieve your goals as we move forward. (How's that for mushy? ;) )<br /><br />Anyway, there really isn't anything going on. December was very busy for V and I with hosting our various holiday events we do every year. Chrisdtmas was quieter for us in that we only had 15 for dinner. Yes, I said only. We've had one year where we had 32! Some family and close friends we consider family. We raised our glasses and toasted those who were no longer with us, as well as those who were unable to travel to join us. All in all, a fun filled day was had by all.<br /><br />On the IF front, we're still in a holding pattern trying to set aside funds. February isn't looking good. I cringe as I look at the calendar knowing that time is ticking away and I've got 8 months. I really don't want to be still waiting in July. Please don't let it take that long.... That biological clock we all hear ticking as we get older? It's like a frickin' gong now.<br /><br />Anyway, that's it for now. I'm going to leave you with some photos of some my creations from December.<br /><br />Gingerbread house!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHmhADhPuV5ICdZzZiSJmvRCF0crJ0d_rnXUK_7E5MrkuGQR8jg1Hl0pVMpnn5Xt5VrVsf1eU-8BUWli-sFbA911ymotwei845u_ZWIhnd6ibjrke9VfNOVkifKylHHTDcoVdi/s1600/gingerbread+house.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 271px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHmhADhPuV5ICdZzZiSJmvRCF0crJ0d_rnXUK_7E5MrkuGQR8jg1Hl0pVMpnn5Xt5VrVsf1eU-8BUWli-sFbA911ymotwei845u_ZWIhnd6ibjrke9VfNOVkifKylHHTDcoVdi/s320/gingerbread+house.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694203158519376450" /></a><br /><br />Cupcakes I made for our work Christmas party. Chocolate and vanilla with vanilla buttercream, decorated "Christmas-y".<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOy92yfejaK8_Gu90zUopiLL-trI9KAJ2lxO-GivOFPnFGeMVlLLNzlJqrpK8CvssrFpfYZ7ePPkPnrIygz1arj64g03s2XSp3IopATNUuLuJzLiGC2Cjx9QlW7lyHr-nZ-tQI/s1600/work+cupcakes.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 210px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOy92yfejaK8_Gu90zUopiLL-trI9KAJ2lxO-GivOFPnFGeMVlLLNzlJqrpK8CvssrFpfYZ7ePPkPnrIygz1arj64g03s2XSp3IopATNUuLuJzLiGC2Cjx9QlW7lyHr-nZ-tQI/s320/work+cupcakes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694203164243871298" /></a><br /><br />Birthday cake for special 3 year old. The cupcake was a pan that baked an oversized cake in the shape of a cupcake which I sat on an 8" square. It's a strawberry cake with vanilla buttercream.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-5KRXUh9uOuS7inzGNUi38VU2t5PPKSBZKEHTSyhDBpce2NINqiVOk5c4HL17gknYz9R-T8ndBdCnCw3vZ8-5rh-bTUvMryRmXGUCyQWAU3ZP70Iuayky7jTylbR5qCJ5SACJ/s1600/cupcake+birthday.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 292px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-5KRXUh9uOuS7inzGNUi38VU2t5PPKSBZKEHTSyhDBpce2NINqiVOk5c4HL17gknYz9R-T8ndBdCnCw3vZ8-5rh-bTUvMryRmXGUCyQWAU3ZP70Iuayky7jTylbR5qCJ5SACJ/s320/cupcake+birthday.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694203168338001762" /></a><br /><br />This was for a Welcome Baby party for a friend. An 8" cake on top and cupcakes below. The cupcakes were strawberry or vanilla both with vanilla buttercream, decorated in purple to match the baby's room with a flower or butterfly on top. The cake was alternating layers of strawberry and vanilla, with a strawberry puree and vanilla buttercream. Oh, and I made the cupcake stand.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnghk01VK_ONZPLGROZk3DvrA8nIqnNzBbmLM8rljvT0r-NglLI_D9_7_CxVm_3xlxvCcduQIg1GLoc8AKAUWS2PqTYgIoMwaa5s_T5z_XSV-Ny3oQZ-sLDagj5LgGfhi3UqB4/s1600/brooklyn+cake1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 254px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnghk01VK_ONZPLGROZk3DvrA8nIqnNzBbmLM8rljvT0r-NglLI_D9_7_CxVm_3xlxvCcduQIg1GLoc8AKAUWS2PqTYgIoMwaa5s_T5z_XSV-Ny3oQZ-sLDagj5LgGfhi3UqB4/s320/brooklyn+cake1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694203172893541426" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8EFRe1Qxp5onLt5rL-7grx47TkHLeJAr3TO0Jm4v4Qj481RgH6T3fuXEUh9tjtcCviBFLLrmeIXlUehXMKBBt9aqpj3nvjSGnRgeaWOB4JdZh0FbUMNfYC8aAWHzkQQGXmED8/s1600/brooklyn+cake2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 277px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8EFRe1Qxp5onLt5rL-7grx47TkHLeJAr3TO0Jm4v4Qj481RgH6T3fuXEUh9tjtcCviBFLLrmeIXlUehXMKBBt9aqpj3nvjSGnRgeaWOB4JdZh0FbUMNfYC8aAWHzkQQGXmED8/s320/brooklyn+cake2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694203180066929042" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDnY60G6dMDIUa7OtsLF6ubyzRyfPUPT9Kpmezy2VhpP4xxCdKLL9tEHGuLm_BO1REPNcWFLg8q033XOxDn7WbpryI0ctJpIpSAHIl8tScGddPGAbtT4nvZb8bpo2_5dRos1Bg/s1600/brooklyn+cake3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDnY60G6dMDIUa7OtsLF6ubyzRyfPUPT9Kpmezy2VhpP4xxCdKLL9tEHGuLm_BO1REPNcWFLg8q033XOxDn7WbpryI0ctJpIpSAHIl8tScGddPGAbtT4nvZb8bpo2_5dRos1Bg/s320/brooklyn+cake3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5694203394043595986" /></a>Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-59451576312787074422011-11-09T23:01:00.004-05:002011-11-10T00:06:01.093-05:00Still here....So, another 6 weeks have gone by it seems and I've been negligent here, again.<br /><br />There hasn't been much going on around here. I've been knitting a baby blanket for a friend's daughter. Baby came 3 weeks early and is healthy but because of this, it wasn't ready, so I decided to take my time and just give it to her when she comes in December. I'll post a picture when it's completely finished. I do have cupcakes and a cake to do for her "Welcome Baby" party being thrown when she's here, so I'll post those pics then as well.<br /><br />I was reminded that Christmas is 44 days away...can you believe it! So, that means I need to get cracking on updating and sending out my Holiday Cookie Boxes flyer. I don't think it's changing much really, perhaps a different cookie than the biscotti I had.<br /><br />I also have to start thinking about Christmas cards and actually get them out in early December. Last year I ended up mailing them when we were in Florida on vacation. This year I vow to do better. :)<br /><br />It looks like we're aiming for February for the FET. V has a plan to deal with the various obligations we have. And he's confident we'll be able to go ahead then. This is okay with me and it gives me 2-3 months to try and get rid of a little of this excess weight. <br /><br />Anyway, I think that's it for now. I'll leave you with some Halloween treats.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRVfa9MuOKNY6sSTHb2XoBtHBcs2SswjXSuM9oTcaKCe5G1MmEGB8DXWpYc2FZdcLPIy6TqT2hGddPt5iEe_LIOLZyX5aqyaf1rduW9TXNK_G2-FHzd0wSySr-X2Tolqwcclfy/s1600/halloween+cookies.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRVfa9MuOKNY6sSTHb2XoBtHBcs2SswjXSuM9oTcaKCe5G1MmEGB8DXWpYc2FZdcLPIy6TqT2hGddPt5iEe_LIOLZyX5aqyaf1rduW9TXNK_G2-FHzd0wSySr-X2Tolqwcclfy/s320/halloween+cookies.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5673226973808476530" /></a>Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-55433360335178478742011-09-26T11:05:00.003-04:002011-09-26T11:24:00.973-04:00Happy Birthday to MeI started blogging 6 1/2 years ago. I had figured that by the time I reached this point in time I'd have anywhere from a toddler to a 5 year old. Apparently I was wrong.<br /><br />I used to believe the adage V would say "I may not be where I want to be, but I am where I am supposed to be". I don't believe I'm supposed to be here.<br /><br />Anyway, today is just going to be a quiet day. Nothing special. We'll probably go out for dinner on the weekend or something. I did take the opportunity to make a cake though. :)<br /><br />It's a banana cake with homemade caramel filling and a chocolate butter cream. It was totally awesome!<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhB7SPOBmIyaj6XQBHI1N6O0dxRzJhyphenhyphenUWE10TDRy6NxoicWEPMCX8vqsTFhil7QlTAS-fxDzFZqYQFzpR9OrZLDxfy1PwJAzrqUELyWyxgvheuvdTCm-ibYcOOkYi16E7AVu7/s1600/banana+caramel+chocolate+cake+2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMhB7SPOBmIyaj6XQBHI1N6O0dxRzJhyphenhyphenUWE10TDRy6NxoicWEPMCX8vqsTFhil7QlTAS-fxDzFZqYQFzpR9OrZLDxfy1PwJAzrqUELyWyxgvheuvdTCm-ibYcOOkYi16E7AVu7/s320/banana+caramel+chocolate+cake+2.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5656689050763773074" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqfTzzP0v47MRxGpH2HG2YErHg5Wt4vB4N0nWfaYIkRFUdaMBJ_gLqg0-Q_zcW1OwjtiYl8ezQiY-gU44nEYgvJamDD8kYIhMWoKJheljkkvpQTCyJQnbb-Dm2sHxHJVEYe8R/s1600/banana+caramel+chocolate+cake.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqfTzzP0v47MRxGpH2HG2YErHg5Wt4vB4N0nWfaYIkRFUdaMBJ_gLqg0-Q_zcW1OwjtiYl8ezQiY-gU44nEYgvJamDD8kYIhMWoKJheljkkvpQTCyJQnbb-Dm2sHxHJVEYe8R/s320/banana+caramel+chocolate+cake.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5656689051974041634" /></a><br /><br /><br />I haven't given up on the idea of some sort of raffle for either baked good or knit goods. I just am not sure how to get past the "pa.ypa.l police".Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-48205804401039731342011-09-15T13:10:00.004-04:002011-09-15T13:30:24.918-04:00Should I or Shouldn't I?So, I've been doing a lot of thinking about this last cycle we have planned. It probably is on my mind off and on during every day, probably because I just don't know when we're going to be able to do it. And I suspect with my birthday two weeks away, that's weighing on my mind as well, wondering when we can do it. I hate the waiting, and more I hate the delay because each month goes by could mean that our chances of success drop as the embryos are frozen, I'm getting older etc.<br /><br />I've been trying to figure out how I can resolve this because really the delay is financial. With the unexpected expense of my FIL funeral, and some other unavoidable financial obstacles, it just doesn't seem feasible any time soon. I know DH is trying to make the numbers work, but I can't let my hopes up. So, I was thinking if having a raffle here, on my blog. I'm still not sure of the logistics and would have to emails some other bloggers who have done something like this, but I know it's do-able.<br /><br />In my day job, I'm an IT professional. But in my off time, you all know I bake cakes, cookies and brownies. But what you may not remember is that I also knit. There are some pictures I think on this blog from a couple of years ago of items I knitted for some fellow bloggers new arrivals. So I'm thinking of holding a raffle for some blankets. I say some, because depending on the response, I'd probably knit up 5 baby blankets. I'd do sweaters, but they take way too long. ;) And I hate doing socks. I'd have to coerce my friend, Red, into doing them for me as she can whip them off super fast. I'd also consider putting in a couple of prizes of my "world famous" (in my world anyway - just ask <a href="http://thesmartness.com/">The Smart One</a> and <a href="http://mynewreality.wordpress.com/">MyReality</a>) brownies. They may only be available for local winners as the cost for shipping them may be prohibitive but I'll have to look further into that. I'm thinking $5 would get you an entry into the raffle and multiples of $5 get you multiple entries. <br /><br />So what do you think?Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-30681076756408500892011-08-18T09:01:00.003-04:002011-08-18T09:18:40.196-04:00Uhm, is this thing still on?Uhm, hello, my name is Pam and I'm a very bad blogger.
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<br />(Hello Pam)
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<br />I've been blogging for 5 years and 4 months. I don't think I ever imagined when I started this blog that we'd be no further along in our journey now than we were then. Since July of last year when we had our last failed cycle there's been a lot or not much going on, depending on how you look at it. It took us 6 months to get through the clinics screening process to be able to move forward with donor embryos. But due to finances (or the lack thereof) and other work/family committments we had to make the decision to delay actually doing the cycle until after July. Well, July has come and gone and with it much family heartache with the loss of my FIL. At this time, I can't say when we will be able to go forward with this cycle. And yes, this will be the last one. Due to finances, and more importantly my age, this really is our Hail Mary cycle. I turn 51 in 5 1/2 weeks. I really can't believe how quickly this year has passed, but more importantly, I'm going to be 51?!?!!??! I really don't feel it. Nor apparently, do I look it. ;)
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<br />Our clinic will work with women up to the age of 52 with donor embryos. I really do not want to be still cycling then. I had hoped to be doing all of this will still in my 40s. I hadn't imagined being that person that people might say "I can't believe she's over 50 and pregnant"....and yes, people do and will say that. Some will be my family (not the immediate siblings/parents) but we all know that family can be some of the harshest critics. And there will be some "friends". Recently a friend was talking to V and I about his wife and their kids and how his wife wanted one more and he made the comment that at her age it's too late for her, or something similar. All I could think of was what will he say when he finds out about me (if/when our cycle works). Probably nothing, because he's not that kind of guy, but still...
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<br />I haven't told V but I really want to cycle before the end of the year. By my birthday is not possible as we just won't have the money by then. It's not a lot in the grand scheme of IVF but with other committments, we can't do it. The only thing I have told him is that I'm concerned that time will slip away from us and I can't let that happen.
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<br />I've been on Wei.ght Wat.chers for the last 7 months (on and off) and have managed to lose and keep off 15lbs. I had hoped to do better and plan to get back on track now that the summer is coming to an end and hopefully lose another 15 before we cycle.
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<br />Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say I'm still here. And for those few of you still reading, thank you for checking up on me and hanging in there. Hopefully I'll be able to give you more positive news by Christmas.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-18804412349040048612011-07-10T22:23:00.003-04:002011-07-10T23:41:17.789-04:00Farewell, DadThe world became a little less bright as one of its lights was extinguished last night. After a lengthy stay in hospital, V's father passed away with his family and friends by his bedside.<br /><br />Mr A. was one of kind. He was warm, friendly, always had a kind word, and could make me laugh. We had a mutual affection for the lottery and we would daydream together about what we'd do with the winnings when we hit it big. As a former mechanic, he would be able to listen while riding in my car and tell me that something wasn't right, and what it was. <br /><br />I remember one very cold winter day about 10-11 years ago, my BIL was up in Bar.rie about 90 minutes away and his vehicle had broken down. So V, Dad an I were going up to help him out except that my FIL's minivan had no heat. None. This was probably one of the first times I'd spent any real time with him. By the time we got up there we were all frozen. During the ride up I quickly built up a thick skin to the family wit. ;) I had been warned but I came prepared. I think I won him over on that trip by being able to hold my own with him. <br /><br />For anyone who knew him, he was a huge player of the lottery here, both the scratch tickets and the draws. One of our lotteries is called 649. What is ironic is that my father in law passed away at 6:49pm. So Dad, you had the last laugh. If you get an inside edge on the upcoming numbers, send me a sign. :)<br /><br />Rest in Peace Dad.<br />1938-2011Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-57905539150849416672011-07-04T16:44:00.002-04:002011-07-04T17:02:32.760-04:00It's July already!?!?!?Wow, time flies...and if one could say they were having fun it would be okay. It's been eight weeks since I last blogged. I've been reading and occaisionally commenting on other blogs, but I've just not found the time, desire or material to blog....that really sucks.<br /><br />Anyway, it's July. That means the trip to Vegas for my conference has come and gone (two weeks ago actually) and V and I can start to plan for when we are going to do the final DE FET cycle. I don't want to wait any longer than we have to as I'm not getting any younger. As I said to him the other day, it's a matter of biology. So, I'm really hoping we'll be able to get to it either July or August...hopefully before my birthday in September.<br /><br />So what's been going on since May 10th? Not a whole helluva lot. Really. So little in fact I can't think of anything specific. <br /><br />The only thing really going on is my FIL. On June 1st, in the middle of the night, he took a tumble down a flight of stairs. Thankfully V's cousin lives with him as his caregiver and was able to call for an ambulance and get him to the hospital. Some of you already know the details, but out of respect to him and other members of the family I won't go into detail here of his injuries. Suffice it to say, what started out as a fall and some broken bones has become a much more serious situation and we are trying to be optimistic for a postive outcome. Prayers would be welcome.<br /><br />One thing about tragedy/accident is that it can bring a family together. And if I can say anything positive about this situation it would be that it has brought V and his siblings and mother together and much closer. As I said to him a few weeks ago, it was the first time, in the years that I've known him, that I think I had seen the 5 of them together in one room. I wish the situation could have been different that gathered them together. <br /><br />So, hug your families, those close to you or call someone you haven't seen in a very long time and just say hello and see that they're okay.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-72152095510257611092011-05-10T17:00:00.003-04:002011-05-10T17:17:44.756-04:00It's MayAnd that means it's almost two months since I last posted. But what does one say when there's no IF news and life is just going along as normal on a day to day basis? I guess one thing of note is that we decided to finalize our embryo donor choice so that we were ready to go when we had the funds after July. <br /><br />What else has been happening? Not much really. It's the usual day to day stuff. With the ever increasing price of gas the commute is making me think more and more of wanting to find something closer to home. But because I'm in a somewhat specialized field, it's not so easy. Meanwhile, I continue making cakes when the opportunity presents itself. And when it doesn't I make them anyway to try out new recipes. Recently I made a family favourite from my childhood. Our birthday cakes were always the same. A chocolate cake with chocolate icing, and of course chocolate ice cream. Not for my Mum, mind you, who really doesn't like chocolate. (I know! Sacrilege!) But for my Dad, me and my brothers that was always the choice. It's been years since I've had that cake because V isn't a big fan of chocolate either. So I made that cake a couple of weeks ago along with a yellow cake I wanted to try. I then paired both of them with a new chocolate ganache filling I wanted to try. And then finally, I made a new swiss meringue butter cream to which I added some of the ganache. OMG! It was amazing. If you've never had it, swiss meringue butter cream is a silky, smooth, not overly sweet icing. Fantastic! It's unlike the typical American butter cream we usually see on bakery cakes. The final verdict for these cakes? Definitely on my cake availability list as well as the ganache. And the icing is now my go-to icing, unless I need something that will crust, in which case I have a great American butter cream recipe.<br /><br />So fast forward to this past weekend. Somewhat in honour of Mothers Day but not really since my Mum doesn't like chocolate, I wanted to try something new. I've made red velvet before, but I wanted to try out another recipe. And this time I wanted a cream cheese icing that could be piped on a cake and didn't have a really strong cream cheese flavour. Did my research and made 2 dozen cupcakes. With the extra batter I made a single 8" cake layer because I'm going to make some red velvet cake balls this weekend.<br /><br />Below is a picture of the cupcakes. They really turned out awesome, and the icing was soooo good and not overly sweet. Oh, and I added white chocolate to the icing too. Only thing is the recipe makes 12 cups and I forgot to cut it down. So I now have 9-10 cups of white chocolate cream cheese butter cream. At least I can freeze it. :)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpn54hl6ruzUekET2x6KbEIwzIP7y-Wy4imHfU2na4Q8QfqurHRt1heuGyRql-g1eWPOc0hEiBV2TGKzzD2Oj8B4zfylrCqyN5K6-ZBs0ceQqrC8SvH7nuMGxM6mkv6slN_veK/s1600/red+velvet+cupcakes_resized.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 304px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpn54hl6ruzUekET2x6KbEIwzIP7y-Wy4imHfU2na4Q8QfqurHRt1heuGyRql-g1eWPOc0hEiBV2TGKzzD2Oj8B4zfylrCqyN5K6-ZBs0ceQqrC8SvH7nuMGxM6mkv6slN_veK/s320/red+velvet+cupcakes_resized.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5605198488872836114" /></a><br /><br /><br />There's not much else going on. We're planning for our first BBQ of the season on the Victoria Day weekend (that's the week before Memorial Day for my US readers). I'll be making some sort of cupcake or cake balls for that event.<br /><br />We traded in my Grand Caravan last week. It was kind of long in the tooth and I'd racked up the miles with my commute. So I'm am now driving a peppy Do.dge Jou.rney. I liked the van, but I really like the Journey, and its back row folds flat (like the minivan) so cake deliveries will be easy too.<br /><br />Oh, and finally, I decided that since we weren't going to be able to do our last FET until the latter part of the year, I was going to try and lose some of the extra weight I'd put on over the last year or so. So, I've been doing the two W's since March and I'm down 13. I wish it was more, but I'm okay with that. We're off to Vegas in June for a conference (for me) and I'm hoping I can lose another 10 by then. If I can be down by 25 by the time our cycle rolls around, I'll be very happy.<br /><br />So, that's all for now. Thanks to those still reading. :)Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-59888093000407075112011-03-17T16:40:00.005-04:002011-03-17T17:07:49.032-04:00An update of sortsSo as you may recall V and I had decided to pursue the use of donor embryos at our clinic. This required a <a href="http://baby-wanted-apply-within.blogspot.com/2010/09/counselling-session.html">counseling</a> session which we had in mid September. It took until the first week of January before we got confirmation that the report had been completed and received. I figured, great, we should be getting profiles shortly since she said she would keep an eye out for potential matches. (Remember, we were told we were top of the list an they had embryo donors in place, at least as far as we knew.) No such luck. Because V and I weren't in a rush to move forward due to other financial commitments I didn't bug the coordinator at the clinic. That was January.<br /><br />However, it's now March. In fact it was exactly six months less 6 days since we had our counseling session when I decided I was tired of waiting. I figured I'd give her a poke to remind her we were still here. So I sent a friendly email asking where we stood on donor embryo profiles. It was 5 days before I received a reply which contained two profiles. I was actually considering calling the clinic to see if she was still working there.<br /><br />The first profile contains two documents outlining the personal/medical history of both the sperm and egg donors. Both in their early 40s three years ago. That in itself isn't a big deal as it is all in when the embryos were created. What I did notice was that they had three children - a 6 year old and 3 year old twins one of whom has Downs Syndrome and couple of other medical issues. My guess were that the eggs were retrieved when the woman was 35-36 as she was 42 at the time form was completed.<br /><br />The second profile contained only one document which we assumed to be the female. (The coordinator had removed "Wife" and "Husband" off the forms but due to my queries is considering putting them back on".) It said she was 41 with a 6 year old, no medical issues for anyone and again, my guess was that she was 35-36 when the eggs were retrieved. <br /><br />Obviously if we're going to use donor embryos we would like for the eggs to have come from someone younger than mid-thirties, or at least I would.<br /><br />So, my email back was to thank her for the profiles and ask the ages of the women at the time of embryo creation and where was the medical information for the sperm donor in the second profile. Her reply a day later confirmed one thing for me. ED#1 was 36 when the embryos were created. ED#2 - the profile turned out to be for the husband because an egg donor was used who was 28 at retrieval.<br /><br />So, we had been leaning to #2 for other reasons but the age of the egg donor definitely was more favourable to me. I did think, though, that the donor couple should have been able to provide some medical history for their egg donor as they would have had it when they were choosing her.<br /><br />So I told V that we're not in a rush, we don't have to accept this donor (#2) and we can ask if there any other profiles. I also am considering asking if there is medical history for the egg donor.<br /><br />We won't be in any position to move forward until after July some time. I'm taking advantage of the forced delay to lose some weight which I know is good for me regardless. <br /><br />I just wonder if all clinics work this way for embryo donors or am I expecting too much from her?Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-12663510853116997502011-03-06T22:06:00.002-05:002011-03-06T22:22:01.685-05:00And so the journey begins....Today, V and I drove Michael and his wife to the airport for their trip to the Ma.yo Clinic. <br /><br />Until his condition made it impossible to continue, Michael has DJ'd at a local community radio station, for a lot longer than I have known him. He has helped out when the station was doing a funding drive for themselves. He's been there to help raise money for other things. When the station said they wanted to host the funding drive to raise money, he was humbled. Little did he know the impact he had had on the West Indian community of his city as well as the city in general He found out soon enough during the afternoon of the radio show where friends and colleagues led a show and spoke of him. The people of the community rallied and came together and with the help of the station, another station and several other events, helped raise enough money for Michael to the clinic and make that appointment on Monday. <br /><br />I want to thank anyone and everyone who helped with a kind word, a prayer or a donation. We are truly honoured and humbled by your generosity. This is just the beginning, but what a beginning!! There will be other fund raising events over the next several months once we find out what's in store for Michael. We are sure there will be additional visits to Minnes.ota and hence the need for the fund raising events. I know that V and I have discussed a bowling night and silent auction.<br /><br />So, if anyone locally is interested in hearing when we have these events, please just drop me an email and I'll be sure to keep you in the loop.<br /><br />Again, thank you.<br /><br />Now, let's hope that House is on duty this week and fix Michael!!!Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-38799605180944988122011-02-08T12:43:00.003-05:002011-02-08T19:10:15.258-05:00Call for HelpI realize I haven’t blogged since the beginning of December, and with my first post of 2011, I’m asking for your help instead of updating. I promise I’ll post an update in a later post.<br /><br />Asking for financial help, regardless of how much, is something I find difficult to do. As much as I wanted to do some sort of fundraising for V and I when we were in the thick of TTC, we didn’t. I felt that we should be able to figure this out ourselves. I guess my pride got in the way.<br /><br />However, today I’ve put that pride away. I’m asking today for help for my brother in law, Michael, V's brother. Michael is 37 and is the father of two young boys, ages 3 and 6. I’m going to paste here the letter that his wife wrote and sent out to friends and family. I know how hard that must have been for her and I’m proud of her. She’s doing everything she can to help her husband, to save his life.<br /><br />------<br /><br />Dear Family and Friends,<br /><br />As many of you may already know, I am actively involved in fundraising for my husband’s medical treatment of Rhabdomyolysis at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, USA. I am contacting you on behalf of my husband Michael Assivero and family to request your support in the form of a financial donation toward his medical treatment. <br /><br /><strong>What is Rhabdomyolysis and how did we get here?</strong><br /><br />For those of you who are not familiar with Rhabdomyolysis, it is a potentially life-threatening syndrome resulting from the breakdown of skeletal muscle fibers with leakage of muscle contents into the circulation. Approximately one third of adult patients with Rhabdomyolysis develop renal failure if not adequately treated. My husband has suffered severe effects tied to this disease for the past “7” years (2 or 3 major episodes a year). You can get a better grasp of Rhabdomyolisis on the following websites. Michael suffers from the non-trauma, infection related version.<br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhabdomyolysis">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhabdomyolysis</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.emedicinehealth.com/rhabdomyolysis/article_em.htm">http://www.emedicinehealth.com/rhabdomyolysis/article_em.htm</a><br /><br />At this time, the Ontario medical system has determined they are unable to cure the effects of this disease and are unable to identify next steps in his treatment. Through research we have identified that the Mayo Clinic in the US is willing to explore alternate treatments. <br /><br />Michael has been seen by many doctors in Ottawa and as far as Barrie and London, ON regarding this issue over the past 7 years. After fighting (and thankfully winning the fight) with colon cancer in 2009 we noticed that his ability to battle back from an episode of rhabdomyolisis was decreasing and the pain was no longer going away in between hospital visits. <br /><br />In September of 2010 he was hospitalized for 9 days. During this episode his creatine kinase (CK) levels reached 88,000 (the highest it has ever been – normal level for a male is under 400), and since then he has not fully recovered. The various specialists he has seen to this point have reached the end of their collective knowledge base and have taken to “treating” the episodes by admitting him to hospital, flushing his system with IV fluids, giving him painkillers and waiting for the CK levels to drop to a non life threatening level rather than looking for an overall cause and/or solution. Meanwhile, Michael is still in pain and continues to deal with the deteriorating effects of the disease.<br /><br />The Mayo Clinic’s Patient Estimating Service has forecasted the following expenses for the initial visit; <br /> - Testing - $15,000 USD<br /> - Transportation/Accommodation - $ 2,000 USD<br />The initial visit is for testing and hopefully diagnosis. Once the testing is done, the Clinic would be in a better position to provide details on possible treatments and their associated costs.<br /><br />While transportation costs for the initial visit have already been donated, I am sincerely asking for your help by contributing financially towards Michael’s medical treatment. Please understand that any donation amount will be welcomed. Funds raised in excess of what is needed for his treatment will be used to start an education campaign in Canada for doctors and the general public to hopefully stop anyone else from having to suffer needlessly in a similar situation.<br /><br />I am not sure if I can put in to words how much this disease has affected our family. Michael puts on a brave face when he’s out and even fought through the pain to help at CHUO’s annual Christmas fundraiser. What most people haven’t seen is the 3 days it takes to recover from a day like that. Most people haven’t seen the tears in his eyes when he can’t hold Nathaniel in his arms for more than 30 seconds or not being able to play soccer with Matthew-Michael. There are days where he literally doesn’t get out of bed. I wouldn’t say he is anywhere close to giving up, but it really has taken its toll on him mentally and physically.<br /><br />Michael is scheduled to visit the Mayo Clinic March 7, 2011, so if it is at all possible, please forward donations on or before February 20, 2011.<br /><br />--------<br /><br />If you knew Michael, you know that he will have exhausted all his resources before asking for help. If you feel you can help, a bank account has been set up in his name. Please contact me directly and I will send you that information.<br /><br />You can also donate online via Interac e-Transfer at participating banks utilizing my address.<br /><br />Even if you feel you can't help financially, please keep Michael and his family in your thoughts and prayers that they are able to find a way to beat this.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-30282234996458431922010-12-01T22:59:00.006-05:002010-12-01T23:13:25.251-05:00Cake!So I really don't have anything to say, but I promised you all a picture of the cake I was working on for last Saturday. The cake was for my great niece who was turning 3 and wanted a T.oy St.ory cake. Nothing on the cake was made of wood. :) Technically all of it is edible. The cake was an 11x15 chocolate cake, with chocolate filling, chocolate buttercream covered with fondant.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBQf9zT7JFIaDoyE8weagzC6lC5yQDI_Teeawv7V32-fgbtxXE4j2xcm3pj7eHPgE-Brd5g5xOY4OGk-jEYxh0f2dcsEkNEbxubY1RIYPP18Bzq13cRl1h2ppAzW_LpkrVRPIk/s1600/toystory5.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 253px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBQf9zT7JFIaDoyE8weagzC6lC5yQDI_Teeawv7V32-fgbtxXE4j2xcm3pj7eHPgE-Brd5g5xOY4OGk-jEYxh0f2dcsEkNEbxubY1RIYPP18Bzq13cRl1h2ppAzW_LpkrVRPIk/s320/toystory5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5545930981588694690" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-2v3DDqNm_6730ykF0KPq1ZEONavoIGe5x-d1Em66Vu-IYg7ZlnUf2aakda-_Gu9SdrOYj6kfB1tRcYRr4puUwjMTAxcZTsl_JmtyxYcV0C_6VEyMQwKvjFOYF9Z-DCH1Ey7O/s1600/toystory1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 209px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-2v3DDqNm_6730ykF0KPq1ZEONavoIGe5x-d1Em66Vu-IYg7ZlnUf2aakda-_Gu9SdrOYj6kfB1tRcYRr4puUwjMTAxcZTsl_JmtyxYcV0C_6VEyMQwKvjFOYF9Z-DCH1Ey7O/s320/toystory1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5545932408699893970" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcnSQvNu_VgJLiL1navanpme83VN1iYWScUboQAKij_INs3vBcyWkAtOz9rEht-PAT-DOKsAI7xITUeQPwu8RR_y_UiK6-KR7xRyNOUOrWBq_9pvbpLlm1RL3AaIP6pbzlbbzm/s1600/head-foot+boards.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcnSQvNu_VgJLiL1navanpme83VN1iYWScUboQAKij_INs3vBcyWkAtOz9rEht-PAT-DOKsAI7xITUeQPwu8RR_y_UiK6-KR7xRyNOUOrWBq_9pvbpLlm1RL3AaIP6pbzlbbzm/s320/head-foot+boards.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5545932406841024354" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSoQOCQMUejzW8xGiC4EiEYvewWCHzIHcM9zD7-_jV7bAqU_-syDHdLjUU7nGDoNiG6utyy7YdLXmqQZoiNdmnxRMtrcpnfyVQmS-I7eiehR2VchwISuqADjkedD2mI6xZoaRm/s1600/cake+board.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 269px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSoQOCQMUejzW8xGiC4EiEYvewWCHzIHcM9zD7-_jV7bAqU_-syDHdLjUU7nGDoNiG6utyy7YdLXmqQZoiNdmnxRMtrcpnfyVQmS-I7eiehR2VchwISuqADjkedD2mI6xZoaRm/s320/cake+board.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5545930943817531890" /></a><br /><br />This weekend is a busy weekend as we hold our Annual Christmas Open House. We're expecting between 50-75 people and I'm so not prepared. LOL. Come back next week and I'll try and post you an update on the event and maybe some pictures.<br /><br />For those who are celebrating, Happy Channukah!Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-71007840787913376922010-11-26T12:16:00.006-05:002010-11-26T12:59:45.849-05:00I'm a bad bloggerI can't believe it's been almost 8 weeks since I last posted. Well I can, but it's still bad. There really hasn't been anything going on worth posting here.<br /><br />I finally emailed the clinic to find out if the nurse had received the report from the counsellor. Apparently not, and our session was 10 weeks ago. So, she's sent the counsellor my email and is hoping that this will push her into finishing the report and sending it. Once the nurse gets the report, then she can start to look at and refer embryo donor profiles to us. So we continue to wait. It's not totally a bad thing as we really won't be able to do any cycling until the new year.<br /><br />What I've been doing in the meantime, thanks to <a href="http://mynewreality.wordpress.com">My Reality's </a>help, is working on Holiday Cookie Boxes. I decided that this year, maybe I could put my baking skills to good use and make some money towards that upcoming FET in the new year. I'm pretty pleased with how the boxes have turned out and I know the product is good (just tooting my own horn). The only drawback is that I have to have all orders delivered by December 15th as V and I are going on a long awaited vacation.<br /><br />We're not going anywhere exotic but we are going to be away from all the cold and the snow (which I'm sure will be on the ground by then) over the holidays. We've been planning all year. I had informed him that after last year's very busy, stressful Christmas and all the entertaining that I needed a break. I didn't care where we went as long as it was warm. So, we've rented a house down in Florida for a couple of weeks and we're planning on spending the days sitting by the private pool, drink in hand, relaxing. We may do some stuff down there, we may not. But that's exactly what we need. Can't wait!! Oh and we're going to hook up with the awesome Kym, Frank and El Cinco too!!! <br /><br />So, if anyone needs help with their holiday baking, or is looking for a yummy gift for someone like their mail or newspaper carrier, a teacher, a work colleague or client, hit me up. I know that shipping to the US can be expensive from Canada, but we may be able to work something out where we ship once we cross the border, or as V has suggested, I could do some baking down there for a couple of days and ship as well. Click <a href="https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=0B468J3CJe_ixZmYwNjUzM2UtZDVmMC00YTEwLTk2ZTUtOWM2YmRlNDhjMDY5&hl=en&authkey=CI2J1qwO">here </a>if you want to check out the flyer.<br /><br />And to entice you just a little bit more, here are some pictures of what I'm offering.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw5cwYDlAehFqm2tG-sT1oCO8Da7JSVyrJsYIh37bhN24MVO1gQH2rv6-6ppg28r1_Oy93ceiFP8rrjC2M2fSJu6eu_oa8bpBaSTuSdCIZgJfFM9X5JAX4g9D7TsXSNkFvm1Bp/s1600/IMG_2767_resized_filters.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw5cwYDlAehFqm2tG-sT1oCO8Da7JSVyrJsYIh37bhN24MVO1gQH2rv6-6ppg28r1_Oy93ceiFP8rrjC2M2fSJu6eu_oa8bpBaSTuSdCIZgJfFM9X5JAX4g9D7TsXSNkFvm1Bp/s320/IMG_2767_resized_filters.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5543917087318405474" /></a><br />Chocolate chip, peanut butter, oatmeal raisin with cranberries and chocolate hazelnut brownies with pecans.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiObDnOkDOgV2_hMeTbcMybtQU7XuvyhMEPFtYgbwrPL7aZlU1soPnnxnHbz5_Vpl1A9QzUVYZKGo1gq9Qmd7W5V5viy3uzZaVqHU9dkP7hiD7KgDE3DzH1ptNvQ49ZNpuoU-Y5/s1600/IMG_1858._resized1_filters.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiObDnOkDOgV2_hMeTbcMybtQU7XuvyhMEPFtYgbwrPL7aZlU1soPnnxnHbz5_Vpl1A9QzUVYZKGo1gq9Qmd7W5V5viy3uzZaVqHU9dkP7hiD7KgDE3DzH1ptNvQ49ZNpuoU-Y5/s320/IMG_1858._resized1_filters.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5543917054658922162" /></a><br />Lightly decorated sugar cookies and gingerbread.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid-Vnq9eFblkeZAgVCMrRUUkhLI4C_BpVZRcdRnCuZ9tlX4nl1wlEGqoRX__5fcinGw8EJxg4aUxW7iGBmc7PZIf6DK-rWr5n-beA8gV7Cdl-0QLSAtSPNMncYFUk_-QXYdtyw/s1600/Christmas+Cookie+Box+collage_filters.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid-Vnq9eFblkeZAgVCMrRUUkhLI4C_BpVZRcdRnCuZ9tlX4nl1wlEGqoRX__5fcinGw8EJxg4aUxW7iGBmc7PZIf6DK-rWr5n-beA8gV7Cdl-0QLSAtSPNMncYFUk_-QXYdtyw/s320/Christmas+Cookie+Box+collage_filters.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5543917095820364338" /></a><br />Hand piped sugar cookies, individually wrapped. There is a snowman, mitten, star santa, and snowflake. All are about 3-4" in size.<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5i8quxFuMLLAmkkroBzBK7vpOruvHzsvZ0d_GmgzyN84LD8Ei4Vd1jKk_3273koWxTTQlz3XGmJGiy0tQHxaZ-03SAa9t01fzupx1O_JAOZuQLG0KLhM1jQ18GPrx3Zaerwgl/s1600/IMG_2769_resized_filters.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 162px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5i8quxFuMLLAmkkroBzBK7vpOruvHzsvZ0d_GmgzyN84LD8Ei4Vd1jKk_3273koWxTTQlz3XGmJGiy0tQHxaZ-03SAa9t01fzupx1O_JAOZuQLG0KLhM1jQ18GPrx3Zaerwgl/s320/IMG_2769_resized_filters.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5543917089907900866" /></a><br />Gingerbread houses.<br /><br /><br />I'll be back in a couple of days with a seriously awesome cake that I'm making for my great niece who is turning 3 tomrrow.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26254663.post-76133308027156678112010-10-04T13:40:00.003-04:002010-10-04T13:48:46.904-04:00Cake!So, this past weekend was the big party to celebrate my golden birthday as a friend calls it. We had about 40 people out to dinner and pool. I think everyone had a great time. I know we did. The food was good as was the company.<br /><br />So here it is. This is the cake I made for me. :) It's a three tier, topsy turvy cake. Top tier is triple chocolate fudge with chocolate swiss meringue buttercream. The middle tier is white almond with a cherry vanilla swiss meringue buttercream. And the third tier is alternating layers of triple chocolate fudge and marble cake, with the cherry vanilla swiss meringue buttercream. All covered in fondant.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOnNcfy3lPcU4nkhO12MyFROi-Xo3Uu8giBbjrhs16ceMM_1VQ_rHE64OxlYyEXdWGMYDAqAtHACuAzwkJqzmg3Ts7iuw2KpOnW2ApqrxjNLPDq1MjwiIXppfBPmnHweuV1lJh/s1600/my+bday+cake.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOnNcfy3lPcU4nkhO12MyFROi-Xo3Uu8giBbjrhs16ceMM_1VQ_rHE64OxlYyEXdWGMYDAqAtHACuAzwkJqzmg3Ts7iuw2KpOnW2ApqrxjNLPDq1MjwiIXppfBPmnHweuV1lJh/s320/my+bday+cake.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524248058328117058" /></a><br /><br /><br />This is a cake I had to have ready for the same day for a client's 50th birthday. Hers is marble cake with vanilla buttercream. Iced in buttercream and decorated with fondant accents.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLMad2T8mETrUdlqhyrB-qaw5yBAzWD8lpSEz0jEvcDLBqAO4B-P2qyTwREhSiLmg9e4jLG353mXcbw7MZVQX5jsqvrfpPWj7Z7E9-M8ovCbmKpLq0XUmxD8eqePQB9wgnPzsk/s1600/alishas+cake.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLMad2T8mETrUdlqhyrB-qaw5yBAzWD8lpSEz0jEvcDLBqAO4B-P2qyTwREhSiLmg9e4jLG353mXcbw7MZVQX5jsqvrfpPWj7Z7E9-M8ovCbmKpLq0XUmxD8eqePQB9wgnPzsk/s320/alishas+cake.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5524248063107218690" /></a><br /><br />________________<br /><br />Updating on the IF front - we're still waiting to get profiles from the clinic. Even though the counsellor said they don't need her report to send them, the nurse says she does to get a better idea of with whom to match us. So, because I know the counsellor is behind in her reports, it will probably be a little longer. I will probably check back in with the clinic by the end of the month if we've not heard anything from them.<br /><br />That's all for now.Pamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03154636161249104743noreply@blogger.com3