Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Happy Birthday, Pamela

Hmmm. Yep. That pretty much covers it. :)

Happy Birthday To Me!!

I find it hard to believe that I'm 47. I'm told I don't look it, and I certainly don't feel it (most of the time). I know some people think I'm insane to want to have children at my age. What can I say. I am a bit "off" at times. I'm sure V. and others will agree, and perhaps that's what makes me, me. :) I don't know. Regardless, I had hoped we would have either already had the retrieval and/or transfer or just coming up to it at this point in the month, but alas, it is not to be. That will be in another few weeks. I know that last year around this time I was in a totally different place mentally than I am today. I think knowing that we are so much closer to our goal has changed my outlook on everything. I have a really good feeling about it all, and hope that it translates into good news in the future.

So, for now, I will enjoy my day with my family and friends. Dinner is at my Mum's and for the first time in years, I've asked her to make me the family birthday cake that I grew up with.'s a really good chocolate cake. Those who know me, know I have a weakness for chocolate. :)

So, everyone have a good day because I certainly plan to. :)

Oh, and thanks Ellen, for the birthday wishes! I can't believe you remembered!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Not much to report on the TTC front **UPDATED*

(TMI warning for the male readers)

I haven't heard anything from the agency or the clinic if the donor has gotten her period or not. I really hope she has. Maybe I'll be a pest and email to find out. ;) Meanwhile I've been off birth control for 5 days. Yesterday I started spotting and such. I find it really hard to tell when CD1 is during these "pill periods" because they are so different than my normal cycles. Usually I spot for an afternoon but get flow by the evening and it's obvious by the next day I've got my period. These cycles are weird. Yesterday I started spotting but it changed from brownish to reddish some time in the afternoon. Today it's much of the same; no real flow, but it's red, and sometimes bright red. So now I'm torn between deciding if today is CD1 or yesterday is CD1. The only thing impacted by this decision is when I am to restart the pill. I've been told start it on CD2. So, is that today or tomorrow? I'm leaning to today which means I've got to take it when I get home, and then take it tomorrow morning for CD3 so I'm back on my regular morning routine. Sigh. I really hope we get past this stage.


So as of today (Saturday) I haven't heard anything back from the agency but I emailed the nurse who coordinates the donors to see if she knew anything further about the status of the donor. Basically she said that they're still waiting. She hasn't had a full flow period in a month but she's had some stressful happenings that may have affected things. She's got an appointment for bloodwork on Monday to see where she is in her cycle and when they can get her started on her meds. She has been on birth control during this time. So, all we can do is wait. She's knows we're anxious to start and frustrated by the delay. But the best thing she said was "I have a good feeling about this. We've had good success in the past using this donor." So, all we can do is continue to wait and hope that we're able to being shortly. I'm a little more optimistic now about our success since we've sort of been told that she's a proven donor. That's information we don't get from the agency.

Anyway, that's it. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Update to last post ***UPDATED***

This is an update to my last post . For those of you who haven't read it go ahead and read it now, I'll wait.

So, to summarize, lesbian couple goes through IVF to have a child. Say they tell the doctor they only want one child. Doctor transfers two embryos resulting in twin girls. Couple now suing the doctor.

There have been many comments mostly arguing that they had options during the pregnancy, and there is little sympathy to their situation.

Here's another article that describes things in a bit more detail.

1. The twin girls are now three.
2. The birth mother now feels that her relationship with her partner might not survive due to the stress of knowing they were having twins.
3. Birth mother no longer has the same capacity to love as before the birth of the girls.
4. They don't have that "couple" relationship that they had before.

Well, as Ellen K. said in the comments to the last post, they are dumbfucks! What did they expect to happen after they had twins? They are experiencing the same things that other couples do who now have children. Of course they are no longer a couple, and able to do "couple" things. Things change with children. Suck it up Buttercup!!

I will be surprised if the courts find in their favour at the end of the trial.


I was reading Julie's post of this issue and it says that testimony by the couple indicates that they told the doctor they only wanted one child. So, just before the mother was sedated for embryo transfer she ask the doctor that only one be transferred. He warned her that even a single embryo transfer could result in twins, yet she said "I only want one." The doctor has not disputed this but admits to the mistake that he neglected to advise the embryologist who loaded the catheter with two embryos.

So, is the doctor at fault here? Absolutely. But at the same time, the couple had options that could have been exercised during the pregnancy. Julie makes some other points as well which you can read if you jump to her post.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

To sue or not to sue

Australian mom sues doctor because she had twins after fertility treatment

An interesting article, and one that promotes discussion both for and against.

This woman and her partner under went fertility treatment with donor sperm to have a child together. They were specific with their doctor that they only wanted one child. When it came time for transfer of embryos, the doctor had the embryologist transfer two embryos into the woman's uterus. (The writer said 'implanted'. I hate when they don't use the correct terminology.). Both embryos implanted resulting in non-identical twin girls. The couple is devastated, so much to the point where they considered placing one child up for adoption. They are now suing for the estimated costs to raise one of these girls.

Now, there is argument on both sides for this. As I told V. I can understand them being upset because they were clear with their doctor that they only wanted one child. The doctor knowing this should not have transferred two embryos as there is always the change that both will implant resulting in twins. I don't know if they are able to sue, however. When I read that they had considered placing one child up for adoption and obviously changed their mind (can you imagine how that child might feel finding that out later in life), I was astounded. I don't believe they didn't know the doctor was going to transfer two embryos. This is something that is discussed and decided on jointly.

Anyway, what do you think?

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Delayed, sort of

Today was a busy morning for me. I was out of the house very early because I needed to get into the clinic so that I was out if there with enough time to get to my acupuncture appointment.

I signed the three sign-in sheets (bloodwork, ultrasound and doctor's) at 7:45am. There were about 10 ahead of me on the bloodwork sheet, 15 ahead of me on the ultrasound sheet and I was third on the doctor's list. Third!! Totally unheard of. But it means nothing if you haven't at least had your ultrasound. Plus at 7:45 he hadn't even made an appearance. As per my routine, I went back to the blood work area and sat down to wait about 10-15 minutes before I was called in. Once that was done, the ultrasound didn't take too much longer, so I was back sitting in the waiting room reading my book. I finally heard the doctor's voice calling the first two people on the list at 8:45. By the time I saw him, it was just after 9. I updated him that I was on CD36 which meant day 35 of taking the birth control. He went off to find out the status of the donor, and because I hadn't gotten a reply to my inquiry at the agency about her status, I was anxious to find out what he knew.

He came back to tell me that her period was being sluggish and hadn't actually shown up. What?!?!? I was told last week that she was spotting and was expecting to get it over the weekend. Apparently that didn't happen. He then said "she's not pregnant. We got her tested." Well thank god for that. I'm not sure what we (or the other recipient couple) would be doing at this stage if that were the case. My response was "that would be a good thing" and he smiled. (He seems to be in a more receptive mood when you see him early in his day. (Note to self: try to get in as early as possible in future). So, he told me to stop the pill today and on CD2 start it again. I'm to go back in on CD15 (day 14 of the pill) at which point I hope we are able to move forward. I took the opportunity of his lighter mood to ask him a couple of questions.

1. Will you be putting me on lupron or straight to estrace once we are able to move forward. His response "you won't be on lupron" which I liked because I wasn't looking forward to the possible headaches as I already suffer from migraines.

2. What do you think of chinese herbs? I already knew he was pro acupuncture but I didn't want to take the recommended herbs if he wasn't on board with it. His answer was what I expected which was "don't take anything other than what he recommends as they don't know how it might interact with the current meds". I was okay with that because I wanted to defer to his recommendation rather than assume it might be okay to take them. So, I let my acupuncturist know that I wouldn't be taking them. V. will be relieved (me too) as this is an expense we won't have.

I wanted to ask him if I should be taking baby aspirin or not. My family doctor had recommended I take back when we first started trying but that was with my own eggs. Now, I'm not sure if it's beneficial or not. I'd heard that it is often recommended for women who've had recurring miscarriages. I've had 2 so I don't know if it applies to me or not. I'll have to try and remember to ask him that when I'm in next.

So I got out of the clinic by 9:20am. This was a record for me. A visit under 2 hours is rare. This allowed me to head down to the drugstore to get the prescription filled. I was also able to confirm with the pharmcist that he carries Estrace and the PIO (in sesame oil) so that will be good.

I then had some time to kill before acupuncture, so I headed uptown to that clinic and then read my book for about a half hour. Once I'd been needled, I had one more errand and then I headed home.

So I'd say, all in all, a fairly productive day, although not necessarily the news I wanted to hear about the donor. But it's all good and we're getting closer.

Retrieval/transfer - likely 3rd week of October I think

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

My wife has nothing on my nerdness! says I'm a Kinda Dorky Nerd King.  What are you?  Click here!

What would Brian Boitano do?

I've been trying to formulate this post in my head for a few days and have found it very difficult to put my thoughts down. Although not as eloquent as V. can be, I am not usually at a loss for words.

My father would have been 73 last month. However, he passed away suddenly and unexpectedly 22 years ago, several months before my 25th birthday. Julie's post of the sudden death of her father last month hit very close to home. I could understand and relate to her feelings of loss. The unfairness of it all. At the time, I selfishly wondered on who's arm I'd walk down the aisle when I got married. It still feels as if it were yesterday. I have gotten over the loss of my dad, but the emotions are still there as V. can attest. In fact, just writing this brings tears to my eyes.

For those of you not familiar with Julie's blog, she and Paul are embarking on their quest for a second child, this time using donor eggs. She wrote recently about how she thought her father might react to the news that one of his grandchildren might not be biologically hers. This got me thinking about my father.

My dad was a conservative Englishman. He was much older than my mother, as I am older than V. He was set in his ways and didn't like change. In spite of my dad's reticence at times, he would eventually warm up to people and embrace them. He loved his family, and was fiercely protective of us all. He was respected by all who knew him. He expected his children to want to be the best at whatever we did, and for the most part, we delivered. He loved us all, and as the only daughter and middle child, I know that he had my back at all times. I've been told I had him wrapped around my little finger. V. never got the chance to meet him and for that I am sorry. I know he would have welcomed V. into the family.

With the start of our upcoming protocol I've been thinking about him lately, wondering what he would have thought. I would like to think he would have been proud of me and what and who I've become. I think he would have been aghast that I've put our story out on the internet, but that's because he was such a private person. However, I believe he would have understood and accepted that it was important for me, for us, to proceed with donor eggs so that I could carry our child(ren). I think ultimately that his goal for me would have been that I was happy. And Dad, I am. I wish you were here to experience this with us, and meet your next grandchild. I miss you.

**And for those of you who wondering about the title of this post, I am a huge fan of the South Park Movie. Ask V. The words to the song follow, and I can actually see my dad in some of it. :)

What Would Brian Boitano Do?

Stan, Kyle, Cartman

What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now,
He'd make a plan
And he'd follow through,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

When Brian Boitano was in the olympics,
Skating for the gold,
He did two sow cows and a triple lutz,
While wearing a blind fold.

When Brian Boitano was in the alps,
Fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire breath,
And saved the maidens fair.

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here today,
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

I want this V-chip out of me,
It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y.

And I just want my Mom
To stop fighting everyone

For Wendy I'll be an activist, too,
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano would do.

And what would Brian Boitano do,
He'd call all the kids in town,
And tell them to unite for truth
That's what Brian Boitano would do.

When Brian Boitano travelled through time
To the year 3010,
He fought the evil robot king
And saved the human race again

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,
He beat up Kublia Khan

Cuz Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-y-body

So lets all get together,
And unite to stop our Mom's
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano do.

And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
Cuz that's what Brian Boitano dooooooo,
That's what Brian Boitano do.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I'm an Uber Cool Light-Weight Nerd

So I have nothing to say and I was reading NearlyDawn's blog and decided to see just how much of a nerd I was. says I'm an Uber Cool Light-Weight Nerd.  What are you?  Click here!

I think I need some work in some areas.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

It's nearly time.

I thought I knew last night (well, more like 3AM) what I wanted to say here but now I am at a loss for words. In about a month, an event will occur that will be life-changing no matter what and that has to give a person pause. I won't put it in print here, but I am the realist so I have the burden of preparation on my shoulders; it can be a painful weight at times. However, it does not feel so bad this time as the anticipation and excitement is building.

I am excited and anxious more for my wife than anything else. She has been through so much already and has endured so much already. I just want the best possible outcome for her so we will make concessions and do any and everything to increase our percentage of success going into the procedure. This is going to be a major milestone in our little family's life and we'll be making sure all the details are recorded for prosperity.

OK, so enough with the seriousness, time for a little levity. Speaking to the male side of like couples, what suggested reading/viewing material can you provide a list of that will help PRODUCE maximum output? I've already ruled out Playgirl, Over 55 and Mature. All suggestions will be properly screened and scrutinized for effectiveness.

Well, that's it for now. I probably will not post unless necessary until everything has been completed. I'd say wish us luck but we don't need luck. We have a very competent clinic and doctor, we have an excellent donor, we have a very positive recipient and we have LOADS of support, love and caring on our side. That is way more than a lot of people have at any time in their life so we are already blessed. BUT, we'll take a little extra blessing with great humility and thanks. :)



Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Clinic Update

So I went in today as requested. Nothing special to report. Because of the long weekend, they didn't have a report on the donor to know where she stood in terms of her cycle. I had received an email last week saying that she was expected to start her period in a few days but I didn't hear anything further if she had. So, they told me that they would get in touch with the donor agency and get back to me.

Well, they finally got back to me this afternoon and I am to continue on the pill for another 10 days and go back in on the 15th. Hopefully I'll be getting an email from the agency giving me an update on the donor's status as well. I'm thinking we're looking at first week of October for retrieval. We'll see.

UPDATE: I decided to email the donor agency to see what the donor's status was. She's been spotting the last day, so CD1 should be in the next 24hours!!

Monday, September 03, 2007

Which came first? The sperm or the egg?

I was going to just put in a comment on the previous post but found the topic needed its own spotlight. I'll probably get in trouble for this but oh well; it won't be the first time.

The last time I checked, sperm is referred to as the "seed of life". This is from literature, movies and various religions. As much as the egg the female produces is the foundation of life, the spark that allows life to grow is provided from the male's sperm. As the genetic material, our chromosomes, are provided equally between the two, it would seem that neither is more important than the other. Neither side has been replicated artificially so if one part is missing, life simply is impossible.

Now, while I will more than concede that female donaters have a longer protocol, a move invasive procedure and more than likely a greater attachment to their "gift", I don't think ALL men who walk into a clinic, or agree for a friend, to "produce" genetic material to order RIGHT NOW should be painted with the same disconnected brush. A stranger may just toss-off in order to make a quick buck and has no thoughts of where that could eventually lead, but those who either know the person/couple it is going to or is donating for a higher purpose go through a lot more than a momentary euphoric feeling.

I cannot speak as one who donated for money but I can speak as one who is a part fo the process and I can surely say that the supporting role only has the invasive procedure missing from the equation. I get all of the worry, stress, concern, anxiety, joys and disappointments that my partner does and I would go so far as to say a bit more since I shoulder not only my own but hers as well. While I will agree we have it easier, I would never allow anyone to say we have it "easy".

Just a quick thought. :)