Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Update to last post ***UPDATED***

This is an update to my last post . For those of you who haven't read it go ahead and read it now, I'll wait.

So, to summarize, lesbian couple goes through IVF to have a child. Say they tell the doctor they only want one child. Doctor transfers two embryos resulting in twin girls. Couple now suing the doctor.

There have been many comments mostly arguing that they had options during the pregnancy, and there is little sympathy to their situation.

Here's another article that describes things in a bit more detail.

1. The twin girls are now three.
2. The birth mother now feels that her relationship with her partner might not survive due to the stress of knowing they were having twins.
3. Birth mother no longer has the same capacity to love as before the birth of the girls.
4. They don't have that "couple" relationship that they had before.

Well, as Ellen K. said in the comments to the last post, they are dumbfucks! What did they expect to happen after they had twins? They are experiencing the same things that other couples do who now have children. Of course they are no longer a couple, and able to do "couple" things. Things change with children. Suck it up Buttercup!!

I will be surprised if the courts find in their favour at the end of the trial.


I was reading Julie's post of this issue and it says that testimony by the couple indicates that they told the doctor they only wanted one child. So, just before the mother was sedated for embryo transfer she ask the doctor that only one be transferred. He warned her that even a single embryo transfer could result in twins, yet she said "I only want one." The doctor has not disputed this but admits to the mistake that he neglected to advise the embryologist who loaded the catheter with two embryos.

So, is the doctor at fault here? Absolutely. But at the same time, the couple had options that could have been exercised during the pregnancy. Julie makes some other points as well which you can read if you jump to her post.


Anonymous said...

(Sympathy diminishing rapidly. Oops, it's gone.)

Thanks for sharing these articles. I hadn't heard about this suit.

Anonymous said...

"I will be surprised if the courts find in their favour at the end of the trial"

I won't.

The courts and judges are frequently quite stupid.

"Of course they are no longer a couple, and able to do "couple" things. Things change with children. Suck it up Buttercup!!"

I long for the day when my children are old enough to allow us to do all those couple things. Including coupling much more often than we do now. Till then all we can do is enjoy the ride of watching children grow up.

thrice said...

I just don't understand how anybody going through ART doesn't run the risk of multiples.

And, is pursuing this case really worth their children feeling that their parents did not want one of them? Sheesh. Is the couple planning on letting the children know which child wasn't wanted?

Unknown said...

This is unbelievable. I feel sorry for the doctor. I just went for my first IVF consult and they were CLEAR that multiples could be the result. There was no doubt about it. It is a "risk". Frankly, we have been TTC for 5 years and if I have twins, I will be THRILLED.

Anonymous said...

"Can't do couple things anymore?!" What the hell were they expecting? They're not a couple - their quads: two parents and two babies (Ok - 3 year olds). Wasn't this what they wanted? Didn't they go through all the anxiety of ART to get to this point in their lives? I've got news for them - they will NEVER be back to the couple stage again. Parenthood is irreversible. I cannot imagine people once parents honestly thinking they (the parents) would be better off never having had kids. I know if happens but it is completely beyond my realm of comprehension.

"Dumb Fucks" is far too generous a term for these two...

Dtrini said...

My two cents. One absolutely misses the days when you can just pick up and do as you please as a couple. That said, it is the reason the child was made to be comfortable with our extended family so that we can drop her off when we needed personal time together. We have a nice network of friends and family that we can impose on for even extended times away and we are ever thankful for that. These two just need better friends and family... or maybe that says something about them right off!