While I am in an espousing frame of mind, I have to touch upon a subject that is both personal and touchy. With DW's operation comes certain obvious concerns and cautions. Having any surgery, even less invasive surgery as the one she went through, modifies the body in ways it was not meant to have happen. You cut into the adominal wall tissue and muscles, move organs around, cut and stitch some internals items... it all affects you and the ability to do the normal things you would find yourself doing.
Now, since all of you are familiar with the what, where, why, when and how's of her operation, I think you have an idea of what we can and cannot do. She cannot bend like she normally would. She attempted to pass me a pillow by twisting her upper body and nearly passed out from the pain. She cannot lift anything overly heavy (not that she was Ms. Atlas before) and nearly dropped a number of things that she had no bloody business attempting to lift so early on in her recovery. She cannot press or be pressed upon as she is still sore and hurting where she incurred what amounts to essentially "multiple stab wounds". And it is in this last part that I have heard a particular comment a number of times that I think I want to address now.
For those of you who do not know me, I have grown in girth over the last few years and am at my heaviest ever. I want to lose the weight; I think I am not mentally ready to do what it takes just yet. Now, I still buy off the rack, can tie my own shoes, can fit in most reasonably sized standard seating (including the confines of the POS car) and yes, I can still see my winky and keep it clean. The problem is that with a protruding belly, I would definitely be pressing upon the lady's sensitive areas during "relations". So, for the foreseeable future, relations are simply out of the question. Add to that the moritorium on plowing AND seeding the field for three to six months and the picture is looking pretty grim in the fun department.
A number of folks have taken it upon themselves to point out this obvious fact. Really, I may be a little sensitive to this as I am the one experiencing it but there really is not a whole lof humourous to this fact of our current life. We are married just over two years now; we are newlyweds. We are newlyweds trying to have children. All of which points in every direction to "relations". Now, forgive me DW, it was not like I had a standing invitation to the party before; I had to make a lot of my own invitations, if you get my drift. So, when you are after water in the desert and someone comes along and buries the one oasis you know about, you get a touch sensitive on the subject.
Somewhere after she turned 40, DW stopped looking at herself as I see her. (Here is where I generate more hate mail). My DW was never Halle Berry or Heidi Klum. What she was and is to me is a real woman. She has real curves which I like to touch and hold on to. She has a real personality which I like to interact with. She has a lovely rack which I like to get lost in at every opportunity she allows me to. And I enjoy "relations" with her whenever the stars align to allow that blessed act to happen.
So, no, it is not easy not being able to "relate" at ALL. Since we have gotten together, I have "related" with no one else and I don't want to as DW "relates" quite well, thank you. I was prepared from the outset for this as I am a realist and I knew this would be the first thing to go. And, DW, I am not writing this to make you feel guilty or sad in any way whatsoever. We have a goal and this is one more step to attain it and when we "relate" again, we'll "relate" the hell out of the place. I just miss you right now. Maybe one of these ladies can make you hear and understand that I think you are sexy as hell and I'd keep you occupied and "relating" all day long if allowed.
It's just nothing to joke about any more. At least not until I get a few in me. :)
Ciao.
PS For those squirming and now looking to write me emails about "Dude, I did NOT need to know all of this" just remember that I warned you in the title of the post so, stop yer bitchin' and moanin'.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
For the record...
I am very excited about the prospect of holding new life in my hands; one shared by Pam and I. This is no way diminishes my unlimited love for my first born, but this would be a child between us that we experienced together from the start. There is a special bond to that set of experiences that you cannot manufacture or replace. So, while TC (the child) is a part of our family and a part of us, this will be on a different level. Yeah, I hear the Dr. Phil theme song too. Moving along.
I have no trouble spending money; anyone of our family and friends can attest to that. I do not tend to spend it frivolously unless it is something really cool (bluetooth headphones) or really unique (full boxed set of Friends and Matrix universe in their own unique cases). When we moved to the place we are in now, we had a large 19-ft living room to fill with stuff, so we did. Pam wanted the largest big screen available at the time so we bought it. We have watched it for nearly four years, hosted parties and sporting events (i.e. Superbowl, Stanley Cup Playoffs, World Cup Finals) and watched far too much TV and movies on it. We have a huge DVD collection (over 1100 at last count) because we love movies and I love the extras that come with them.
These are all things though. And make no mistake, for my wife's dreams, I would give them all up in a New York minute to make them come true. I remind my wife of the money issue because we simply do not have the funds in a bank right now; it will take time to raise them. As such, she needs to exercise realistic timelines and goals and leave the pie in the sky Gantt chart for the fairy folk. If it comes to liquidating every damn thing from the TV to the DVDs to the POS car she drives (the Roo stays) to the computers and assorted equipment, then it will work out that way. I don't know. She does not know. It will happen but it is not yet written how. So, all i want if for her to work within that realism.
If we have specific dates, then we can start working towards that date. We don't know Jack yet and frankly Jack will not appear until after her follow-up with the doctor, whose word is the only one that matters at the moment. When we have something concrete from her, Pam will be surprised at what I will do to ensure we have the funds when we need them. I will do things she has never seen me do (i.e. like move quickly). I will humble myself in ways she has yet to witness. She has no clue.
But she will.
I have no trouble spending money; anyone of our family and friends can attest to that. I do not tend to spend it frivolously unless it is something really cool (bluetooth headphones) or really unique (full boxed set of Friends and Matrix universe in their own unique cases). When we moved to the place we are in now, we had a large 19-ft living room to fill with stuff, so we did. Pam wanted the largest big screen available at the time so we bought it. We have watched it for nearly four years, hosted parties and sporting events (i.e. Superbowl, Stanley Cup Playoffs, World Cup Finals) and watched far too much TV and movies on it. We have a huge DVD collection (over 1100 at last count) because we love movies and I love the extras that come with them.
These are all things though. And make no mistake, for my wife's dreams, I would give them all up in a New York minute to make them come true. I remind my wife of the money issue because we simply do not have the funds in a bank right now; it will take time to raise them. As such, she needs to exercise realistic timelines and goals and leave the pie in the sky Gantt chart for the fairy folk. If it comes to liquidating every damn thing from the TV to the DVDs to the POS car she drives (the Roo stays) to the computers and assorted equipment, then it will work out that way. I don't know. She does not know. It will happen but it is not yet written how. So, all i want if for her to work within that realism.
If we have specific dates, then we can start working towards that date. We don't know Jack yet and frankly Jack will not appear until after her follow-up with the doctor, whose word is the only one that matters at the moment. When we have something concrete from her, Pam will be surprised at what I will do to ensure we have the funds when we need them. I will do things she has never seen me do (i.e. like move quickly). I will humble myself in ways she has yet to witness. She has no clue.
But she will.
Tag!
I've been tagged by V.
Things can be fun in fours.
---------------------------
four jobs I have had in my life:
1. hotel front desk clerk
2. amusement park ride attendant
3. accounting clerk
4. Lotus Notes Administrator
four movies I watch over and over:
1. Legally Blonde 1 & 2
2. Miss Congeniality
3. U571
4. Oliver!
four places I have lived:
1. Toronto (Forest Hill)
2. Toronto (North York)
3. Mississauga
4. Toronto (Scarborough)
four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Iron Chef (original and America)
2. Amazing Race (one of many reality shows we like)
3. What Not to Wear
4. Hell's Kitchen
four places I have been on vacation:
1. Hawaii
2. St. Martin/Sint Maarten
3. Dominican Republic
4. Florida
four websites I visit daily:
1. Bloglines to for my daily blog updates
2. Gmail
3. Canoe
4. Yahoo mail
four of my favorite foods:
1. Crab legs
2. Lamb
3. Sushi
4. good BBQ
four places I would rather be right now:
1. at home relaxing
2. Hawaii
3. St. Martin
4. anywhere away from family drama ;)
four favorite bands/singers:
1. James Taylor
2. Barenaked Ladies
3. Prince
4. Gwen Stefani
_______________________________________________
I will tag the following people for some interesting answers:
1) Chris
2) Jenny
3) AnnMarie
4) Ellen
5) Meri-Ann
Leave me a note when you have completed yours.
Things can be fun in fours.
---------------------------
four jobs I have had in my life:
1. hotel front desk clerk
2. amusement park ride attendant
3. accounting clerk
4. Lotus Notes Administrator
four movies I watch over and over:
1. Legally Blonde 1 & 2
2. Miss Congeniality
3. U571
4. Oliver!
four places I have lived:
1. Toronto (Forest Hill)
2. Toronto (North York)
3. Mississauga
4. Toronto (Scarborough)
four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Iron Chef (original and America)
2. Amazing Race (one of many reality shows we like)
3. What Not to Wear
4. Hell's Kitchen
four places I have been on vacation:
1. Hawaii
2. St. Martin/Sint Maarten
3. Dominican Republic
4. Florida
four websites I visit daily:
1. Bloglines to for my daily blog updates
2. Gmail
3. Canoe
4. Yahoo mail
four of my favorite foods:
1. Crab legs
2. Lamb
3. Sushi
4. good BBQ
four places I would rather be right now:
1. at home relaxing
2. Hawaii
3. St. Martin
4. anywhere away from family drama ;)
four favorite bands/singers:
1. James Taylor
2. Barenaked Ladies
3. Prince
4. Gwen Stefani
_______________________________________________
I will tag the following people for some interesting answers:
1) Chris
2) Jenny
3) AnnMarie
4) Ellen
5) Meri-Ann
Leave me a note when you have completed yours.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Update
It's been 9 days and I'd say I'm almost back to normal. I've taken off the steri-strips since they didn't come off on their own. I've three very small, maybe 1/8 inch, incisions and one somewhat larger incision. Larger is relative, but compared to the others, it's huge at about a 1/2 inch. It also happens to be the one that is low down on the left in my groin and the one that also tends to hurt the most.
I've been up and about every day, granted I've been working from the couch most days. Last night we headed out to do a couple of errands including some groceries because that's one thing I know I can't do. Lifting anything with any kind of weight definitely causes some discomfort. V. pushed the cart and I led the way. We were almost done when I realized that I was hurting due to the pace I was leading us through the Great Canadian Superstore (one of our larger grocery stores). Keep in mind, I wasn't running or anything, just my normal pace, however, I've now realized that I am not up to that speed yet. :) Needless to say, I slowed down then. We had an (non-IF) appointment we had to go to this afternoon and I was definitely moving a bit more slowly today. I've also had more pain (more like a dull ache than actual pain) today, probably because of yesterday's adventure.
I'm hoping to get back into the office next week. Although I've been a passenger with V. in the truck, I haven't driven my car yet. I've got a 35-40 minute commute each morning on the 401 across Toronto. Not a drive I enjoy in my normal state, so I'm not sure how it's going to be next week. On top of that, I'm not sure yet if sitting at my desk for 8 hours is a reasonable expectation. I've made it clear to my manager (or more his manager) that I'm not sure how things are going to work next week. I've also made it clear that I won't be lifting anything for quite a while. Being in IT, it seems there's always some lifting of desktops and stuff. So I'll have to get the others in my group to do that or me if necessary.
That's it for now. Later.
I've been up and about every day, granted I've been working from the couch most days. Last night we headed out to do a couple of errands including some groceries because that's one thing I know I can't do. Lifting anything with any kind of weight definitely causes some discomfort. V. pushed the cart and I led the way. We were almost done when I realized that I was hurting due to the pace I was leading us through the Great Canadian Superstore (one of our larger grocery stores). Keep in mind, I wasn't running or anything, just my normal pace, however, I've now realized that I am not up to that speed yet. :) Needless to say, I slowed down then. We had an (non-IF) appointment we had to go to this afternoon and I was definitely moving a bit more slowly today. I've also had more pain (more like a dull ache than actual pain) today, probably because of yesterday's adventure.
I'm hoping to get back into the office next week. Although I've been a passenger with V. in the truck, I haven't driven my car yet. I've got a 35-40 minute commute each morning on the 401 across Toronto. Not a drive I enjoy in my normal state, so I'm not sure how it's going to be next week. On top of that, I'm not sure yet if sitting at my desk for 8 hours is a reasonable expectation. I've made it clear to my manager (or more his manager) that I'm not sure how things are going to work next week. I've also made it clear that I won't be lifting anything for quite a while. Being in IT, it seems there's always some lifting of desktops and stuff. So I'll have to get the others in my group to do that or me if necessary.
That's it for now. Later.
Monday, July 17, 2006
News and Stuff
The doctor from the Montreal clinic called me on Sunday afternoon. I really like her and we've only had the chance to meet with her once. She called because she was told I was concerned about the eligibility of our donor since D. has turned 37. However, before we discussed that she asked me how I was and how the surgery went. She just wanted to make sure I was feeling well and stuff.
Anyway, I explained that I thought their age limit was 36 and that with D. turning 37 a couple of months ago, that was going to change things. After all, we aren't going to be able to proceed with the IVF until I'm fully recovered from the surgery. She told me that 37 is their age limit so D. is still able to be our donor. Yeah! She said they have the same success rate with 36 and 37 year old donors - 60% success rate, and a 50% success rate for on going pregnancies beyond 12 weeks. That to me sounds like pretty good odds. We talked about my surgeon's request that we not get pregnant for 3 to 6 months. She said she doesn't usually require longer than 3 months because she doesn't find it makes a huge difference. She's suggest that we discuss it with Dr. L. at our follow up next month and see what she thinks. La Docteur (she's also Dr. L. so I'm not sure how to differeniate) said that if we can begin the protocol in September with our cycles in September, then by the time we reach the time to do the transfer (and it's interesting, she mentioned transferring 3 depending on embryo quality) it would be about 5 months anyway. So this is all good news!
So I tell V. all of this and say that we should be able to move forward in September. He says "if...." and I say "I know, I know, it's if we have the money". I know he's worried about it, and we've got other financial committments as well, but I wish he would be less pragmatic and get excited about this kind of news. I know he wants this as much as I do. But I also know he doesn't want me to get hurt or be disappointed.
So how do we find/raise the money? I hate ads on blogs and websites, and yes I'm guilty of putting the google ads on my pages. But I figure if I can raise money by people clicking them, then that's a start. I've clicked the links myself and some of the pages are interesting. So if I get 1000 clicks, I can raise half the required money. :) Then I wondered if anyone has ever had a "jack and jill" type event to raise funds for something like this? I've thought about putting together a casino night, but for that we require money to invest in it to get the poker tables and stuff, plus we'd then have to "come out of the closet" to friends and family who aren't aware of our struggle and what we're going through. The amount of money required for the tables and dealers isn't huge, but I'm not sure I'm ready for family to find out. If I had a talent at a craft like Julie, I'd have a raffle like she did. But alas, I am not. So that leaves asking friends or immediate family for a loan. V. and I are quite capable of repaying that loan, but with other financial committments, saving that money (in a timely fashion) isn't likely to happen. So I'm probably going to have to bite the bullet and speak to my family. Not a conversation I'm looking forward to. Sigh.... At least I don't have to do that just yet.
Anyway, I explained that I thought their age limit was 36 and that with D. turning 37 a couple of months ago, that was going to change things. After all, we aren't going to be able to proceed with the IVF until I'm fully recovered from the surgery. She told me that 37 is their age limit so D. is still able to be our donor. Yeah! She said they have the same success rate with 36 and 37 year old donors - 60% success rate, and a 50% success rate for on going pregnancies beyond 12 weeks. That to me sounds like pretty good odds. We talked about my surgeon's request that we not get pregnant for 3 to 6 months. She said she doesn't usually require longer than 3 months because she doesn't find it makes a huge difference. She's suggest that we discuss it with Dr. L. at our follow up next month and see what she thinks. La Docteur (she's also Dr. L. so I'm not sure how to differeniate) said that if we can begin the protocol in September with our cycles in September, then by the time we reach the time to do the transfer (and it's interesting, she mentioned transferring 3 depending on embryo quality) it would be about 5 months anyway. So this is all good news!
So I tell V. all of this and say that we should be able to move forward in September. He says "if...." and I say "I know, I know, it's if we have the money". I know he's worried about it, and we've got other financial committments as well, but I wish he would be less pragmatic and get excited about this kind of news. I know he wants this as much as I do. But I also know he doesn't want me to get hurt or be disappointed.
So how do we find/raise the money? I hate ads on blogs and websites, and yes I'm guilty of putting the google ads on my pages. But I figure if I can raise money by people clicking them, then that's a start. I've clicked the links myself and some of the pages are interesting. So if I get 1000 clicks, I can raise half the required money. :) Then I wondered if anyone has ever had a "jack and jill" type event to raise funds for something like this? I've thought about putting together a casino night, but for that we require money to invest in it to get the poker tables and stuff, plus we'd then have to "come out of the closet" to friends and family who aren't aware of our struggle and what we're going through. The amount of money required for the tables and dealers isn't huge, but I'm not sure I'm ready for family to find out. If I had a talent at a craft like Julie, I'd have a raffle like she did. But alas, I am not. So that leaves asking friends or immediate family for a loan. V. and I are quite capable of repaying that loan, but with other financial committments, saving that money (in a timely fashion) isn't likely to happen. So I'm probably going to have to bite the bullet and speak to my family. Not a conversation I'm looking forward to. Sigh.... At least I don't have to do that just yet.
Seven Things
I've been tagged by AnnMarie!
7 things I'd like to do before I die...
1) lose 30 pounds and keep it off
2) have a child (or two)
3) go on a cruise to the South Pacific
4) see the Seven Wonders of the World
5) buy a house
6) win the lottery (enough to retire on - I'm not greedy)
7) travel to Asia, Africa and Australia
7 things I can't do...
1) speak another language
2) ride a unicycle
3) skate backwards
4) write code for Lotus Notes (I'm an Administrator not a Developer)
5) tolerate ignorance
6) deal with flying bugs
7) be around cats (allergies)
7 things that attracted me to my husband...
1) his sense of humour
2) he's an IT geek like me
3) his integrity
4) his loyalty to family and friends
5) how giving he can be with friends and family
6) how excited he gets with technogoly (remember he's an IT geek :) )
7) his determination and focus
7 books that I love...
1) anything James Patterson
3) anything Clive Cussler
4) Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
5) A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
6) any Maeve Binchy
7) Harry Potter (all of them)
7 movies I can watch over and over...
1) Miss Congeniality
2) Bring it On
3) U571
4) Oliver!, Oaklahoma, Sound of Music (basically any movie musical)
5) Prinmcess Bride
6) Legally Blonde 1 & 2
7) Rush Hour 1 & 2
7 people to tag...
I'm not sure who's already done this one, so if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged! :)
7 things I'd like to do before I die...
1) lose 30 pounds and keep it off
2) have a child (or two)
3) go on a cruise to the South Pacific
4) see the Seven Wonders of the World
5) buy a house
6) win the lottery (enough to retire on - I'm not greedy)
7) travel to Asia, Africa and Australia
7 things I can't do...
1) speak another language
2) ride a unicycle
3) skate backwards
4) write code for Lotus Notes (I'm an Administrator not a Developer)
5) tolerate ignorance
6) deal with flying bugs
7) be around cats (allergies)
7 things that attracted me to my husband...
1) his sense of humour
2) he's an IT geek like me
3) his integrity
4) his loyalty to family and friends
5) how giving he can be with friends and family
6) how excited he gets with technogoly (remember he's an IT geek :) )
7) his determination and focus
7 books that I love...
1) anything James Patterson
3) anything Clive Cussler
4) Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
5) A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
6) any Maeve Binchy
7) Harry Potter (all of them)
7 movies I can watch over and over...
1) Miss Congeniality
2) Bring it On
3) U571
4) Oliver!, Oaklahoma, Sound of Music (basically any movie musical)
5) Prinmcess Bride
6) Legally Blonde 1 & 2
7) Rush Hour 1 & 2
7 people to tag...
I'm not sure who's already done this one, so if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged! :)
Friday, July 14, 2006
Definitely feeling better
Third day home, feeling better, more mobile, still hurting but nothing extreme and I could finally shower. I think that was the best part. :) I've left the tape on over the incisions (vounds (not wounds) as my grandmother would have said). I think for now I'll let them come off on their own accord.
So I've been doing some work, catching up on blogs, reading and I heard this on the news. So of course I had to go find it on the net because for SURE there had to be an article or 12 about it. It seems that this couple went through IVF three years ago and had triplets. She thought, with two older daughters at the time, that after the triplets they were done. After all, that's a nice size family - 5 children. But it seems that without any kind of fertility treatment they managed to conceive quadruplets - the odds for that is 1:800,000. Now they are a family of 11. Mother and babies are doing well. Before the quads were born they were all living in a one bedroom apartment. It sounds like they are going to continue to live there. That's 7 children under the age of 3. I'm not sure I'd want to be their neighbour. :) Oh, and the father lays carpet. And honourable profession. Good he's not a plumber - someone would accuse him off laying too much pipe. ;) Hee hee. Sorry, couldn't resist.
Anyway, this has become somewhat rambling. I mention this not because I think it's wrong and someone should have spoken to them about selective reduction because I don't think it's any business of mine. I wish them well, I'm glad everyone is healthy. I just wish it could have been me or one of "us" in the IF world. And it's not like I want quads. We'll be happy with one and ecstatic with two. I think terrified may be the right word if it were three. :) I know at my current age of 45 that if it I were in her position, I would want my doctor to make sure I knew all of the health risks to me and the babies so an informed decision could be made.
Anyway, I'm rambling and probably not making a whole lot of sense.
I wish the family well as I do with everyone out there who is cycling, on their two week wait, or currently pregnant. Good luck to everyone.
So I've been doing some work, catching up on blogs, reading and I heard this on the news. So of course I had to go find it on the net because for SURE there had to be an article or 12 about it. It seems that this couple went through IVF three years ago and had triplets. She thought, with two older daughters at the time, that after the triplets they were done. After all, that's a nice size family - 5 children. But it seems that without any kind of fertility treatment they managed to conceive quadruplets - the odds for that is 1:800,000. Now they are a family of 11. Mother and babies are doing well. Before the quads were born they were all living in a one bedroom apartment. It sounds like they are going to continue to live there. That's 7 children under the age of 3. I'm not sure I'd want to be their neighbour. :) Oh, and the father lays carpet. And honourable profession. Good he's not a plumber - someone would accuse him off laying too much pipe. ;) Hee hee. Sorry, couldn't resist.
Anyway, this has become somewhat rambling. I mention this not because I think it's wrong and someone should have spoken to them about selective reduction because I don't think it's any business of mine. I wish them well, I'm glad everyone is healthy. I just wish it could have been me or one of "us" in the IF world. And it's not like I want quads. We'll be happy with one and ecstatic with two. I think terrified may be the right word if it were three. :) I know at my current age of 45 that if it I were in her position, I would want my doctor to make sure I knew all of the health risks to me and the babies so an informed decision could be made.
Anyway, I'm rambling and probably not making a whole lot of sense.
I wish the family well as I do with everyone out there who is cycling, on their two week wait, or currently pregnant. Good luck to everyone.
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Yes, I'm back
I'm home, tired, sore, but definitely better than yesterday. V. has basically given you the details of the day. There's not much to fill in there. This morning was my first taste of food since Sunday night. It's amazing how good a piece of whole wheat toast and scrambled egg can taste. I know he wanted to see the doctor this morning, but she really didn't say anything different from what she told him yesterday. I do like her and when we get to the next step, she'll definitely be my OB. She's friendly, personable, funny and caring. Don't find that to easily in people these days (except all you guys).
Anyway, got home after stopping to pick up naproxen for the swelling, Tylenol 3s for the pain, and those lovely stool softeners to combat the constipating effect of the codeine.
I'm not at all happy that the 3 month wait has now become a 3-6 month wait. I know it's important, and I definitely wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our future, but 6 months!?!?!?!?! That will definitely throw a wrench into our plans as our donor, wonderful D., is now borderline for being considered a donor due to her own age, so we're waiting to hear from the clinic. I know we could start now and just have them freeze whatever they get, but I'd really rather be able to have a fresh transfer when the time comes. So based on what they say will determine where we go from here. I mentioned it yesterday while my mother and brother were there, indicating that this wasn't a favourable thing and it seemed like my mom may be coming round to the whole idea. I think seeing our determination with me having the surgery has helped her understand just how important this is to both of us. Perhaps this will change her stance on financial assistance. I'll deal with that when the time comes. I even mentioned to her that if our plans take a right turn, I'll be looking at other alternatives for donor eggs, like South Africa (could go meet Tertia :) ), and other overseas alternatives. Compared to the US, it wouldn't cost us much more than doing it here. But I digress, for now.
And yes, V. was correct. I did fire up the laptop. Not just to catch up on blogs, and blog, but to deal with some work stuff. It seems that they've decided to clean house again, and there were about 11 people let go yesterday. So, as the email administrator, I had to process the terminations and forwarding of their mail, because it seems my manager didn't do it. I think he may have denied them access to the server, but that doesn't take care of the forwarding of their mail to their manager, or giving that person access to the former user's existing mail. Anyway, spend about 4 hours doing that and so have emailed my manager advising him to only use 1/2 sick day for today.
Anyway, that's it for now as the phone rang and I lost my train of thought.
I'm off to catch up on some blogs and relax. Thank you for all your good wishes and prayers.
Oh and for the record, V. came up a little while ago to get me to stop working. Didn't work. ;)
Anyway, got home after stopping to pick up naproxen for the swelling, Tylenol 3s for the pain, and those lovely stool softeners to combat the constipating effect of the codeine.
I'm not at all happy that the 3 month wait has now become a 3-6 month wait. I know it's important, and I definitely wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our future, but 6 months!?!?!?!?! That will definitely throw a wrench into our plans as our donor, wonderful D., is now borderline for being considered a donor due to her own age, so we're waiting to hear from the clinic. I know we could start now and just have them freeze whatever they get, but I'd really rather be able to have a fresh transfer when the time comes. So based on what they say will determine where we go from here. I mentioned it yesterday while my mother and brother were there, indicating that this wasn't a favourable thing and it seemed like my mom may be coming round to the whole idea. I think seeing our determination with me having the surgery has helped her understand just how important this is to both of us. Perhaps this will change her stance on financial assistance. I'll deal with that when the time comes. I even mentioned to her that if our plans take a right turn, I'll be looking at other alternatives for donor eggs, like South Africa (could go meet Tertia :) ), and other overseas alternatives. Compared to the US, it wouldn't cost us much more than doing it here. But I digress, for now.
And yes, V. was correct. I did fire up the laptop. Not just to catch up on blogs, and blog, but to deal with some work stuff. It seems that they've decided to clean house again, and there were about 11 people let go yesterday. So, as the email administrator, I had to process the terminations and forwarding of their mail, because it seems my manager didn't do it. I think he may have denied them access to the server, but that doesn't take care of the forwarding of their mail to their manager, or giving that person access to the former user's existing mail. Anyway, spend about 4 hours doing that and so have emailed my manager advising him to only use 1/2 sick day for today.
Anyway, that's it for now as the phone rang and I lost my train of thought.
I'm off to catch up on some blogs and relax. Thank you for all your good wishes and prayers.
Oh and for the record, V. came up a little while ago to get me to stop working. Didn't work. ;)
The Eagle has landed
DW is back at home. She is sore. She is tired. She is being a pest. Hmm, I don't think I see any changes. Anyhoo, (while I duck and wait) she has her trusty codeine-laced meds (she will give you the names) and is resting comfortbaly in bed. Well, geek that she is, she has a folding dinner table with the laptop on it so she can MSN me her needs when I am in the basement working. She will probably do a short post tonight and more as she heals. And, due to whatever circumstances, she may have to take care of some important work issues immediately. Yeah, yeah, I know, but I am the same way.
Thanks to all of your prayers and wishes and good thoughts and good words. We appreciate it all. I will blog again when I have somehitng meaning ful to contribute, or she is plain driving me batty and I need to send her off to work before I go starkers.
Enjoy.
NOTE: Special thanks to Mark who graciously left work to brave the torrential downpour so that we did not have to pay or deal with parking. Much appreciated.
Thanks to all of your prayers and wishes and good thoughts and good words. We appreciate it all. I will blog again when I have somehitng meaning ful to contribute, or she is plain driving me batty and I need to send her off to work before I go starkers.
Enjoy.
NOTE: Special thanks to Mark who graciously left work to brave the torrential downpour so that we did not have to pay or deal with parking. Much appreciated.
Upcoming Nooner
Oh, you sick sick people. The woman is just coming out of the hospital and look where your mind still is. Nope, none of that for, well, almost ever.
Spoke to DW this morning as she called just before nine. The docs had been by (intern and her own) at 8AM. I wish we had known they were coming that early as i would have been there already. As it is, due to traffic and work needs, we have to stick with our schedule from yesterday where I will go around noon and liberate her from bad jello hell. The doctor said things look great. They gave Pam some meds to prevent clotting and said she can leave. She has to go back in 6-8 weeks, I believe, for a check-up. Other than that, the docs were pleased with her progress, had her IV removed and told her she can removed the leg stockings (but someone said keep them till tomorrow) and no full showering for a while (I hope they make industrial-sized bottles of Purelle).
OK, have some work to go deal with, daily conf call and then prep to leave and go get her. I may swing by the downtown office to get Mark if he is free so that I do not have to park. Not sure about that yet so will figure it out later. I also have to go and get some tea; promised DW.
Ciao
Spoke to DW this morning as she called just before nine. The docs had been by (intern and her own) at 8AM. I wish we had known they were coming that early as i would have been there already. As it is, due to traffic and work needs, we have to stick with our schedule from yesterday where I will go around noon and liberate her from bad jello hell. The doctor said things look great. They gave Pam some meds to prevent clotting and said she can leave. She has to go back in 6-8 weeks, I believe, for a check-up. Other than that, the docs were pleased with her progress, had her IV removed and told her she can removed the leg stockings (but someone said keep them till tomorrow) and no full showering for a while (I hope they make industrial-sized bottles of Purelle).
OK, have some work to go deal with, daily conf call and then prep to leave and go get her. I may swing by the downtown office to get Mark if he is free so that I do not have to park. Not sure about that yet so will figure it out later. I also have to go and get some tea; promised DW.
Ciao
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Surgery Day Update (long post)
Hi there. Sorry I do not have my DW's writing style, but as she is not in a position to blog, I will update you for her.
We came in this morning just before 7AM and went to the pre-operation counter. We checked in with the woman there and Pam had her stamp my parking ticket (three-fifty a half hour otherwise, twelve maximum with stamp). We then went to sit in the waiting area while a moronic kids show played on Teletoon. The woman spoke to us and a couple there before us a number of times that we can manual change the TV if we wanted. She eventually came by to show us how to change the channel, but I suspected she was tired of the show (Totally Spies) that I was now getting into and she changed it to Royal Canadian Air Farce on the Comedy Channel and then left the area again.
The first lady was called in and she went to change. She came back and conversed with her husband for a bit and then went off. Another couple came in, checked in and sat down. Since Pam's surgery was at 8AM, we were starting to wonder when she was going to be called. Well, the next woman gets called, we look at each other and Pam goes to the counter to inquire why this next lady is ahead of her. Pam says she has surgery scheduled for 8AM and she thought she would be called already. INCREDIBLY, the woman at the counter, who had all this interaction with us, asks Pam if she "had checked in with me". Are you kidding lady? YES, yes we checked in with you, validated parking with you, interacted with you. BRIGHTNESS!!
So, after they figured out that Pam really should be in now, they hustled her off immediately. She came out a little later with a fetching little gown number, front and back. She kissed me goodbye (which felt really creepy and morbid, considering) and she went off with the nurse, who informed me that she would be in the operating room for two hours and then two more hours for recovery. I confirmed that I would be able to see her after four hours, said goodbye and then left to head off to work to whittle the time away.
Getting into the downtown office for the first time in a couple of months I think, was a nice change. I always have breakfast at the little shop downstairs; a BLT typically on an everything bagel and a Tropicana orange juice. I was one of the first people into the office, so I staked out the telephone booth as I normally (and illegally) do. Well, except for my normal conf call, and a whack load of stupid emails, I essentially pumped the dog most of the morning as my mind was with my wife and not on work. I had an errand to run (thanks Jane's Addiction) and then I headed up to the hospital to see what they did to my baby.
She's not there. It's almost one o'clock and she's not in her room. Seeing as they have a no visitor, quiet time between 1300 and 1500, I did not want to raise a stink and then have them turn around and kick me out. I fired up the old laptop and got to work. I emailed my MIL and BIL to let them know what was going on and I SMS'd my brother, plus MSN'd Mark (who I hope remembered to tell Patti), BT and MTL_froggie. Around 1:42PM, they started to wheel my DW into the room and promptly kicked me out while they readied the room. I got to smile at her, say hi and then watch her go into the room. A while later, someone came down to the sitting area at the end of the hall and told me it was okay to go in now.
Well, she was drugged up, on saline with a chaser of Gravol and tubed for pure oxygen. Tired. Sore. Tired. Headachy. Tired. I spoke with her for a bit, but she mainly drifted in and out of sleep. So, I stayed here (still here writing this actually) and when she fell into a deeper sleep, I popped out of the room and into the sitting area so I could continue working, MSNing and charging the laptop battery. When the staff determined that quiet time was over by bellowing down the halls, dropping stuff everywhere, and rolling the squeakiest and noisiest equipment on the floors, I figured I could go back in because she was going to be up anyhow.
I sat with her for a bit, did more computing then put the laptop to charge on the side table while I went off to see the doctor before she left. I went to the wrong floor and ended up in the Ankh Cafe so looked in to see if I could grab a quick snack as I had not eaten since my BLT. Uhm, no thanks; not that food. So back up to the doctor's floor and I caught her and her receptionist just before they left. I got the parking validated and then the news about how things went once the doctor was off the phone. She is actually really funny and personable and the reason why I insisted that she be the one to do the surgery; I trusted her and DW can tell you that I don't do that easily. Anyhow, she was very pleased with how the surgery went. She removed four (not the original three) fibroids, flushed the tubes and everything else and put everything back together. She said DW had a "beautiful uterus". Like the smartass that I am, I asked if she took pictures. Without missing a beat, she responded, "Sorry, no, we were in the wrong room for that." The doctor also mentioned that any births would have to be C-section. I said Pam would not care because she is not vain about the lines and such. Finally, the doctor said she did not want Pam getting pregnant for 3-6 months. Hmmm, I believe the number was just three before; Pam is not going to be happy. She wasn't.
(-blogging from home now-)
So, I went back upstairs to Pam and told her the information. I spoke with her brother on Skype and he was going to be on his way from work soon as he worked not too far from the hospital. Her mother was also on the way and would be by soon. Pam's various feelings and aches and pains will be expressed by her when she returns to blogging (she was too weak to do so yesterday). Brother and mother came by for a short visit around the dinner hour. Pam was able to get up and go to the bathroom while they were here; a good sign that she was already gaining her mobility back. Really, for the moment, that is all she needs to be able to do. I will be working from home as usual so can handle anything else until she is ready. Originally I was going to leave when my BIL and/or MIL arrived, but I did not feel like leaving yet, so I ended up staying well after they left, finally leaving around eight. I headed home to finish this blog but a panzerotto and wings, plus some sleep, got in the way. I am writing this at 5:30AM.
So the order of the day is for me to deal with some work items of urgency (there are lots) and to wait for her call as to when they will be releasing her. I'll go and get her and bring her home for some TLC. Knowing her, she will probably be online later this evening and will be able to give her POV on the experience. Take care everyone.
Peace.
We came in this morning just before 7AM and went to the pre-operation counter. We checked in with the woman there and Pam had her stamp my parking ticket (three-fifty a half hour otherwise, twelve maximum with stamp). We then went to sit in the waiting area while a moronic kids show played on Teletoon. The woman spoke to us and a couple there before us a number of times that we can manual change the TV if we wanted. She eventually came by to show us how to change the channel, but I suspected she was tired of the show (Totally Spies) that I was now getting into and she changed it to Royal Canadian Air Farce on the Comedy Channel and then left the area again.
The first lady was called in and she went to change. She came back and conversed with her husband for a bit and then went off. Another couple came in, checked in and sat down. Since Pam's surgery was at 8AM, we were starting to wonder when she was going to be called. Well, the next woman gets called, we look at each other and Pam goes to the counter to inquire why this next lady is ahead of her. Pam says she has surgery scheduled for 8AM and she thought she would be called already. INCREDIBLY, the woman at the counter, who had all this interaction with us, asks Pam if she "had checked in with me". Are you kidding lady? YES, yes we checked in with you, validated parking with you, interacted with you. BRIGHTNESS!!
So, after they figured out that Pam really should be in now, they hustled her off immediately. She came out a little later with a fetching little gown number, front and back. She kissed me goodbye (which felt really creepy and morbid, considering) and she went off with the nurse, who informed me that she would be in the operating room for two hours and then two more hours for recovery. I confirmed that I would be able to see her after four hours, said goodbye and then left to head off to work to whittle the time away.
Getting into the downtown office for the first time in a couple of months I think, was a nice change. I always have breakfast at the little shop downstairs; a BLT typically on an everything bagel and a Tropicana orange juice. I was one of the first people into the office, so I staked out the telephone booth as I normally (and illegally) do. Well, except for my normal conf call, and a whack load of stupid emails, I essentially pumped the dog most of the morning as my mind was with my wife and not on work. I had an errand to run (thanks Jane's Addiction) and then I headed up to the hospital to see what they did to my baby.
She's not there. It's almost one o'clock and she's not in her room. Seeing as they have a no visitor, quiet time between 1300 and 1500, I did not want to raise a stink and then have them turn around and kick me out. I fired up the old laptop and got to work. I emailed my MIL and BIL to let them know what was going on and I SMS'd my brother, plus MSN'd Mark (who I hope remembered to tell Patti), BT and MTL_froggie. Around 1:42PM, they started to wheel my DW into the room and promptly kicked me out while they readied the room. I got to smile at her, say hi and then watch her go into the room. A while later, someone came down to the sitting area at the end of the hall and told me it was okay to go in now.
Well, she was drugged up, on saline with a chaser of Gravol and tubed for pure oxygen. Tired. Sore. Tired. Headachy. Tired. I spoke with her for a bit, but she mainly drifted in and out of sleep. So, I stayed here (still here writing this actually) and when she fell into a deeper sleep, I popped out of the room and into the sitting area so I could continue working, MSNing and charging the laptop battery. When the staff determined that quiet time was over by bellowing down the halls, dropping stuff everywhere, and rolling the squeakiest and noisiest equipment on the floors, I figured I could go back in because she was going to be up anyhow.
I sat with her for a bit, did more computing then put the laptop to charge on the side table while I went off to see the doctor before she left. I went to the wrong floor and ended up in the Ankh Cafe so looked in to see if I could grab a quick snack as I had not eaten since my BLT. Uhm, no thanks; not that food. So back up to the doctor's floor and I caught her and her receptionist just before they left. I got the parking validated and then the news about how things went once the doctor was off the phone. She is actually really funny and personable and the reason why I insisted that she be the one to do the surgery; I trusted her and DW can tell you that I don't do that easily. Anyhow, she was very pleased with how the surgery went. She removed four (not the original three) fibroids, flushed the tubes and everything else and put everything back together. She said DW had a "beautiful uterus". Like the smartass that I am, I asked if she took pictures. Without missing a beat, she responded, "Sorry, no, we were in the wrong room for that." The doctor also mentioned that any births would have to be C-section. I said Pam would not care because she is not vain about the lines and such. Finally, the doctor said she did not want Pam getting pregnant for 3-6 months. Hmmm, I believe the number was just three before; Pam is not going to be happy. She wasn't.
(-blogging from home now-)
So, I went back upstairs to Pam and told her the information. I spoke with her brother on Skype and he was going to be on his way from work soon as he worked not too far from the hospital. Her mother was also on the way and would be by soon. Pam's various feelings and aches and pains will be expressed by her when she returns to blogging (she was too weak to do so yesterday). Brother and mother came by for a short visit around the dinner hour. Pam was able to get up and go to the bathroom while they were here; a good sign that she was already gaining her mobility back. Really, for the moment, that is all she needs to be able to do. I will be working from home as usual so can handle anything else until she is ready. Originally I was going to leave when my BIL and/or MIL arrived, but I did not feel like leaving yet, so I ended up staying well after they left, finally leaving around eight. I headed home to finish this blog but a panzerotto and wings, plus some sleep, got in the way. I am writing this at 5:30AM.
So the order of the day is for me to deal with some work items of urgency (there are lots) and to wait for her call as to when they will be releasing her. I'll go and get her and bring her home for some TLC. Knowing her, she will probably be online later this evening and will be able to give her POV on the experience. Take care everyone.
Peace.
Monday, July 10, 2006
We have lift off
8am tomorrow morning. First surgery of the day so there will be no waiting. Only downside is that I have to be there by 6:30am. Meanwhile, here I sit, (sorry, TMI) just steps away from the bathroom as I find myself perched on the throne, off and on, for the past 90 minutes with no end in sight. If you ever have to take an oral purgative, Pico-Salax is the way to go. Orangy flavour, no real side effects as listed in the insert, and reasonably fast acting. Seemed to take about 90 minutes to kick in, and boy oh boy, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
Thank you, everyone, for your good wishes for the surgery. I'll be off for the next two days. V. may provide an update, but I'll be back some time on the 12th.
Ciao.....as I go back to the throne....sigh.....
Thank you, everyone, for your good wishes for the surgery. I'll be off for the next two days. V. may provide an update, but I'll be back some time on the 12th.
Ciao.....as I go back to the throne....sigh.....
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Six days, not that I'm counting
Just got back from Dr. L's office. Filled in the necessary papers and sat down with her, and then went off to have blood drawn. This time V. wasn't able to make it because he wasn't able to get away from the office. I would have liked him there, but I understand the necessities of his job and being on call this week.
Anyway, she rattled off what she was going to do, what could potentially go wrong all the while appending "I have to say this" to each thing. Perforating the bowel or the ureter are both very bad things, also worse case scenario if there was uncontrollable bleeding, she'd have to perform a hysterectomy but we AREN'T going there. But as she said, she's never had to do so when performing a myomectomy. And the chances of the former happening she said is less than one percent. She was very confident which I liked.
She explained about making the incision just below my navel and going in that way, making an incision in the uterus, removing the fibroids to outside the uterus, suturing me up and then removing the fibroids piece by piece. The steps below came from here and are basically what she's doing except that she performs step 12 as step 10 and continues from there.
To perform a laparoscopic myomectomy, the surgeon will:
1. Perform laparoscopic access procedure to patients abdomen
2. Administer blue dye that stains the uterine cavity
3. Locate the fallopian tubes and uterus to determine which tissue is fibroid tumor and which tissue is normal tissue
4. Determine which fibroids to remove and in which order
5. Inject a drug into the fibroid tumor to shut down the blood supply to the tumor and to "blanch" it to make it easier to see
6. Make an incision in the wall of the uterus where it covers the fibroid
7. Perform adhesiolysis (if necessary) to gain access and visibility of the fibroids
8. Grasp the fibroid tumor with a clamp and hold it under slight tension
9. Incise the fibroid tumor from its surrounding muscle tissue at the pedicle (attachment site) of the fibroid tumor
10. Morcellate the fibroid tumor (cut the fibroid tumor into pieces)
11. Remove the fibroid tumor pieces from the patient
12. Repair the tissue severed by the incision by suturing a layer of tissue at a time
13. Repeats steps 7-11 to remove fibroid tumors not accessible through the initial incision
Anyway, if you feel like a bit more detail and some photos of the procedure, go here. This is essentially what she'll be doing next week.
I don't have a time yet for surgery. The hospital will call on the morning of the 10th to let us know when we have to be there and what time the surgery is. I can't have anything but clear liquids from the 10th to after the surgery.
V. is on call for 3 straight weeks, starting last week. So when he showed me the schedule the other week, neither of us remembered I would be in the hospital over night. He had already made arrangements to be off call on the 11th, but now needs to make some arrangements in order to pick me up. I know he'll figure something out.
Anyway, she rattled off what she was going to do, what could potentially go wrong all the while appending "I have to say this" to each thing. Perforating the bowel or the ureter are both very bad things, also worse case scenario if there was uncontrollable bleeding, she'd have to perform a hysterectomy but we AREN'T going there. But as she said, she's never had to do so when performing a myomectomy. And the chances of the former happening she said is less than one percent. She was very confident which I liked.
She explained about making the incision just below my navel and going in that way, making an incision in the uterus, removing the fibroids to outside the uterus, suturing me up and then removing the fibroids piece by piece. The steps below came from here and are basically what she's doing except that she performs step 12 as step 10 and continues from there.
To perform a laparoscopic myomectomy, the surgeon will:
1. Perform laparoscopic access procedure to patients abdomen
2. Administer blue dye that stains the uterine cavity
3. Locate the fallopian tubes and uterus to determine which tissue is fibroid tumor and which tissue is normal tissue
4. Determine which fibroids to remove and in which order
5. Inject a drug into the fibroid tumor to shut down the blood supply to the tumor and to "blanch" it to make it easier to see
6. Make an incision in the wall of the uterus where it covers the fibroid
7. Perform adhesiolysis (if necessary) to gain access and visibility of the fibroids
8. Grasp the fibroid tumor with a clamp and hold it under slight tension
9. Incise the fibroid tumor from its surrounding muscle tissue at the pedicle (attachment site) of the fibroid tumor
10. Morcellate the fibroid tumor (cut the fibroid tumor into pieces)
11. Remove the fibroid tumor pieces from the patient
12. Repair the tissue severed by the incision by suturing a layer of tissue at a time
13. Repeats steps 7-11 to remove fibroid tumors not accessible through the initial incision
Anyway, if you feel like a bit more detail and some photos of the procedure, go here. This is essentially what she'll be doing next week.
I don't have a time yet for surgery. The hospital will call on the morning of the 10th to let us know when we have to be there and what time the surgery is. I can't have anything but clear liquids from the 10th to after the surgery.
V. is on call for 3 straight weeks, starting last week. So when he showed me the schedule the other week, neither of us remembered I would be in the hospital over night. He had already made arrangements to be off call on the 11th, but now needs to make some arrangements in order to pick me up. I know he'll figure something out.
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