Saturday, April 19, 2008

Follow Up

So V. and I had our follow up with the doctor today. We were booked for 11:30am but I was told to call to see how his morning was shaping up. V. and I headed out about 9:30 this morning because we wanted to go down to the St. Law.rence Market before our appointment. We're visiting my brother's family next weekend in Chicago and he's asked us to bring down montreal-style bagels, hence the reason for our trip down to the market. Needless to say, by the time we got down there it was almost 10:30 and V just wanted me to run in and pick up the order, rather than our original plans to hit one of the butcher and seafood counters for steaks and shrimps or something for dinner. So by 10:45 we were back on route and I called into the clinic to check his status. We were told that he was a "little behind" and we should come in for noon. So we stopped in at my mother's for a short visit as I needed to pick up some cookbooks from her.

We head over to the clinic for noon and made ourselves comfortable while we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally at 2:30....yes, 2:30!!!....we had the opportunity to sit down with him and chat. There really wasn't much he could tell us.

1. He doesn't know why the cycle failed as we had excellent embryos. We did assisted hatching. All was good from our end. He checked with the donor coordinator to find out how the other couple fared who shared our donor. It turns out they were unsuccessful as well. Although I don't wish ill on them, and had hoped they had achieved a pregnancy, it indicates that the problem was with the donor not us.

2. My age is not a factor.

3. He wouldn't do anything differently next time (if there is a next time).

4. He doesn't have anything against DHEA but doesn't recommend it at my age of 47.5 years. He said perhaps if I were 40 he might consider it.

5. Donor embryos are an option but there is a waiting list. He thinks we'd be on a "special" list as we are a biracial couple. Obviously we'd prefer a biracial donor, but we aren't saying that's a requirement. We've been put on the waiting list and I will call the nurse that manages this aspect of the clinic and ask her what the current wait is. The cost for this not much more than a FET so it is manageable....if donor embryos are available.

6. We discussed the in house donor program. Again, we were put on the waiting list. In retrospect we should have completed this step back when we first met with him in May/07 but better late than never. So we were given the donor application form to complete and send back with the info about us and what we're looking for in a donor. The wait for this can be anywhere from 12-18 months but that's not precise. The cost for a donor cycle would be about $5K less than using the US agency.

7. Our other option would be if we knew someone locally 21-36 (donors at both the clinic and the agency are between 21-32) who wanted to be our donor. Unfortunately we don't. So that's a long shot and one I'm not even really considering. However it would be sooooo cool. :)

So now we kind of are in limbo. We will carry on as normal. If we're lucky enough to "find" the money and to do another fresh cycle with a donor from the US agency, we would definitely choose a different donor. I would hope this time we had enough money to enable us not to have to share the donor this time. One thing I did mention is that with the US agency they don't tell us if the donor is proven. With the local donor, we would be told. In addition, if we move forward with another US donor, he said that before we finalize our choice we can tell the donor coordinator at the clinic the ID numbers of the potential donors and they will find out if they are a proven donor, and if they've donated through our clinic, the will tell us how many eggs were retrieved and if any pregnancies were achieved. I think this is great.

So, that's it for now.


Kami said...

Are you happy with your choices right now? You have some options - I just hope the wait isn't too long.

As for a known donor . . . are you sure you don't know anyone? I put an ad in Craig's List and got two really good options. One I am actually still in touch on occasion. The donor I did find was a friend of a friend. The hard part, of course, is that we older ladies don't have many friends who know people in that younger age bracket.

Good luck on how ever it goes - and I hope that success comes your way soon.

Anonymous said...

2:30!!!! Ack!!! Well at least you got your questions answered at the end of the day. I'm so sorry to hear about the negative cycle. I'd never even thought to ask about a donor being "proven". Have you looked into any clinics with shared-risk options? They are more expensive if your lucky enough to be successful but you get many cycles all inclusive of the one payment.

Mums_the_word said...

Sorry your appointment was late, Pam (my bad... since he had to see me 3 times on Saturday... bad start to trying to be on-time for the day).

Sounds like you've got some options to consider, at least. I hope you don't have to wait too long to move forward!

Pam said...

The lateness wasn't your fault, Mums. Don't blame yourself. He was running late all day. You could see how stressed and tired he was by the time he reached us. Apparently he's not had a day off yet this year. I don't know how he does it.

Aurelia said...

Oh lord, you got a Doctor who works? Better than my OB I guess.

Well, I don't know how long it will take to save up the money for a donor cycle or a FET with a donor embryo, (although donor embryo is not commonly done in Canada as I understand), but giving the DHEA a shot would only take 4 months, and heck, you don't have much to lose really?

Anyway, you have the info I sent you, so think about it, reality is, it's easy and only requires regular sex, which of course makes it fun as well.

Anonymous said...

Ah, these lovely follow-up appointments. Don't you love them? I always walk away without any new knowledge when I think about it.

I hope you figure out a way to do it again soon. A proven donor would be great!

Gil said...

Just to let you both know that I'm checking in and hoping that you two are doing all right. And I'm hoping that whether you look at known donors or anonymous that you're able to cycle again soon!

Hugs from up the road!

thrice said...

Sorry that it's such a crap shoot... I wish that you could have solid choices with concrete answers. Sigh.

Io said...

Hi Pam! I think there is a distinct possibility that your husband might be the older/Catholic/Canadian version of mine - your husband looks a lot like my Al!
You're welcome to my eggs if you want them - of course that is a big if (after working on this political campaign I think I might have finally gone and lost my marbles - so I have fat and possibly crazy eggs) and there is the whole getting them out of my ovaries thing...

Anonymous said...

just popping up to say hello. See how you're doing.