Friday, April 28, 2006


Hi, I know from my previous post here you probably think I am all Mr. Gloom with zero personality and zero humour (yes that is spelt correctly). I just thought that I should share my worries and concerns for my wife and impending child(ren). You will probably notice that I keep saying child(ren). The reason is simple: we would like more than one and twins are in our bloodlines.

So, for those unfamiliar with my blog, I am a bona fide geek and a really big child (almost makes you think why I would need the competition). Fridays are typically my day to share a little online humour (yes it is!) with my readers.

So, today, in keeping with the theme of this blog, I want to appeal more to the male side of the equation and speak to the guys. Now guys, nothing to be embarrassed about it, but we all know that in the course of trying to get pregnant the woman does most of the work, what with all the prodding, and poking and exploring and testing. The guys pretty much are left to cheerleading duty. Well, except for our all important task in this whole process: provide the seed of life.

Now, any male still warm-bodied will tell you that at any time one is put into the "right circumstance", we will produce this substance of life for you in a heartbeat. A clinically cold room, people walking outside the door, examinations heard in the room next door, a waiting room full of folks who KNOW what you are doing in THERE, a doctor and a wife waiting expectantly for results and one's own ego and fears that one won't produce is NOT a "right circumstance". So, what does one do?

Well, much like you do with the inane chatter from the wife during your favourite sporting event on TV, you need to find your happy place and tune everything else out. Not every place has a sound proofed room with multiple video selections (like Forrest Hump) for you to enjoy privately. Most of the time it is worn, used magazines (I don't really need to elaborate as to why they are worn and used, do I?), a place to sit and a place to lie down (neither of which is enticing knowing that someone else did THIS on HERE) and a sink area to clean up when the mission has been accomplished. In the end, you will have to get creative and figure out what works best for you.

Let me get a few drinks into me first (strictly for medicinal purposes to kill this cold creeping up on me) and I will try to come back and give some helpful tips.



Anonymous said...

really not sure that I want to read about this little adventure of yours.

I mean we are friends for sure but doesn't this fall under the category of TMI? Reading how you managed to produce your seed might just make me feel.... well.... uhmmm...

kinda dirty.
well I'm off to take a shower.


Anonymous said...

Surely you could of asked your wife to "lend a hand"?