Just a quick post to say Happy Birthday Hon! I love you very much and hope today is just the beginning of a great year.
That's right, today V. has reached a milestone and joined the club that I've been a member of for several years. :) We've both got today off work and we're going to be relaxing and celebrating. We're off right now to meet his Dad for breakfast, then a couple of errand outside and back home. We'll be heading out this afternoon to see Iron Man (finally) and then we're meeting friends this evening for dinner and pool.
we hope everyone has a good day, and if you're in Canada, enjoy the long weekend.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Monday, May 05, 2008
Life goes on
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. Mainly it's because there's really been nothing to post about, at least on the TTC front.
Yesterday was the first day in a few where the sun was out and there was no rain. So I was finally able to meet up with Aurelia for coffee and I must say, she looked mahhvelous. We started talking as we walked down to the main road for a quick "coffee" and never stopped. I really am not sure how long we were out, although on likely more than an hour, but we headed back when her husband called to see if we were lost. :) It was the same as when V. and I met Gil. It was like we'd known each other for years and were just picking up from where we'd left off the last time, had there been a last time. There was no awkward silences when we ran out of "blog" talk. And I had the pleasure of meeting her husband and one of her boys. Based on our numerous email chats, and her recommendation, I have started taking DHEA. We'll see if it helps or not. She knows I'm not overly optimistic, but we've got nothing to lose. :)
Another friend we saw on the weekend asked what was going on with us. My response was nothing; that we weren't doing anything in regards to IF. However, I guess that's not entirely true. I'm currently exploring our options. I've been up on one message board reading posts of others looking for donors, although I've not yet had the nerve to post looking for someone. I am still more comfortable with a third party involved. I've been in touch with a Canadian agency (rather they contacted me)who has started to provide egg donors to couples. As most of you know, it's illegal to compensate donors in Canada for providing eggs. This agency has gotten around that by recommending that intended parents give a "gift" to the donor which essentially is the fee that would have paid if they used a US agency. I have trouble with that. If I'm using a Canadian agency, I would expect that the donor (even if they are from the US)is making the donation altruistically, not expecting any kind of remuneration/gift, and allowing me, the IP, to benefit from the Canadian law. I didn't get the impression that this "gift" was optional. And if it's not optional, why would I choose to use their services rather than go back to the US agency? At least if I use the US agency, I get a receipt for all monies paid and can then claim it all as medical expenses. The other thing we've got to get done is complete the application for our clinic's egg donors. No big rush there, but we need to do it.
I finally got our taxes done! Woohoo!! And we're both getting a nice refund. Our benefactor had requested that my refund get invested in my retirement. But when I receive it, I'm going to speak to that person and see if it would be alright to put that refund towards the next cycle. It's not enough, but definitely a good start.
I started Wei.ght Watc.hers last week. I am not happy with the extra weight that piled on with these two cycles over the last 6 months. We've got a wedding to go to at the end of July and I'm hoping I can lose 20lbs by then. I think I can do it. :)
The only other thing that's keeping V. and I (and other family members busy) is the preparation for my FIL's 70th birthday party on the 24th. What had started off as perhaps 100 people has become a 200+ person, West Indian partay!!! A lot of work, but we know it's going to be a good time in the end. And the food is going to be amazing! (We've got a really good caterer. :) )
Other than that, there's really not much going on.
Yesterday was the first day in a few where the sun was out and there was no rain. So I was finally able to meet up with Aurelia for coffee and I must say, she looked mahhvelous. We started talking as we walked down to the main road for a quick "coffee" and never stopped. I really am not sure how long we were out, although on likely more than an hour, but we headed back when her husband called to see if we were lost. :) It was the same as when V. and I met Gil. It was like we'd known each other for years and were just picking up from where we'd left off the last time, had there been a last time. There was no awkward silences when we ran out of "blog" talk. And I had the pleasure of meeting her husband and one of her boys. Based on our numerous email chats, and her recommendation, I have started taking DHEA. We'll see if it helps or not. She knows I'm not overly optimistic, but we've got nothing to lose. :)
Another friend we saw on the weekend asked what was going on with us. My response was nothing; that we weren't doing anything in regards to IF. However, I guess that's not entirely true. I'm currently exploring our options. I've been up on one message board reading posts of others looking for donors, although I've not yet had the nerve to post looking for someone. I am still more comfortable with a third party involved. I've been in touch with a Canadian agency (rather they contacted me)who has started to provide egg donors to couples. As most of you know, it's illegal to compensate donors in Canada for providing eggs. This agency has gotten around that by recommending that intended parents give a "gift" to the donor which essentially is the fee that would have paid if they used a US agency. I have trouble with that. If I'm using a Canadian agency, I would expect that the donor (even if they are from the US)is making the donation altruistically, not expecting any kind of remuneration/gift, and allowing me, the IP, to benefit from the Canadian law. I didn't get the impression that this "gift" was optional. And if it's not optional, why would I choose to use their services rather than go back to the US agency? At least if I use the US agency, I get a receipt for all monies paid and can then claim it all as medical expenses. The other thing we've got to get done is complete the application for our clinic's egg donors. No big rush there, but we need to do it.
I finally got our taxes done! Woohoo!! And we're both getting a nice refund. Our benefactor had requested that my refund get invested in my retirement. But when I receive it, I'm going to speak to that person and see if it would be alright to put that refund towards the next cycle. It's not enough, but definitely a good start.
I started Wei.ght Watc.hers last week. I am not happy with the extra weight that piled on with these two cycles over the last 6 months. We've got a wedding to go to at the end of July and I'm hoping I can lose 20lbs by then. I think I can do it. :)
The only other thing that's keeping V. and I (and other family members busy) is the preparation for my FIL's 70th birthday party on the 24th. What had started off as perhaps 100 people has become a 200+ person, West Indian partay!!! A lot of work, but we know it's going to be a good time in the end. And the food is going to be amazing! (We've got a really good caterer. :) )
Other than that, there's really not much going on.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Follow Up
So V. and I had our follow up with the doctor today. We were booked for 11:30am but I was told to call to see how his morning was shaping up. V. and I headed out about 9:30 this morning because we wanted to go down to the St. Law.rence Market before our appointment. We're visiting my brother's family next weekend in Chicago and he's asked us to bring down montreal-style bagels, hence the reason for our trip down to the market. Needless to say, by the time we got down there it was almost 10:30 and V just wanted me to run in and pick up the order, rather than our original plans to hit one of the butcher and seafood counters for steaks and shrimps or something for dinner. So by 10:45 we were back on route and I called into the clinic to check his status. We were told that he was a "little behind" and we should come in for noon. So we stopped in at my mother's for a short visit as I needed to pick up some cookbooks from her.
We head over to the clinic for noon and made ourselves comfortable while we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally at 2:30....yes, 2:30!!!....we had the opportunity to sit down with him and chat. There really wasn't much he could tell us.
1. He doesn't know why the cycle failed as we had excellent embryos. We did assisted hatching. All was good from our end. He checked with the donor coordinator to find out how the other couple fared who shared our donor. It turns out they were unsuccessful as well. Although I don't wish ill on them, and had hoped they had achieved a pregnancy, it indicates that the problem was with the donor not us.
2. My age is not a factor.
3. He wouldn't do anything differently next time (if there is a next time).
4. He doesn't have anything against DHEA but doesn't recommend it at my age of 47.5 years. He said perhaps if I were 40 he might consider it.
5. Donor embryos are an option but there is a waiting list. He thinks we'd be on a "special" list as we are a biracial couple. Obviously we'd prefer a biracial donor, but we aren't saying that's a requirement. We've been put on the waiting list and I will call the nurse that manages this aspect of the clinic and ask her what the current wait is. The cost for this not much more than a FET so it is manageable....if donor embryos are available.
6. We discussed the in house donor program. Again, we were put on the waiting list. In retrospect we should have completed this step back when we first met with him in May/07 but better late than never. So we were given the donor application form to complete and send back with the info about us and what we're looking for in a donor. The wait for this can be anywhere from 12-18 months but that's not precise. The cost for a donor cycle would be about $5K less than using the US agency.
7. Our other option would be if we knew someone locally 21-36 (donors at both the clinic and the agency are between 21-32) who wanted to be our donor. Unfortunately we don't. So that's a long shot and one I'm not even really considering. However it would be sooooo cool. :)
So now we kind of are in limbo. We will carry on as normal. If we're lucky enough to "find" the money and to do another fresh cycle with a donor from the US agency, we would definitely choose a different donor. I would hope this time we had enough money to enable us not to have to share the donor this time. One thing I did mention is that with the US agency they don't tell us if the donor is proven. With the local donor, we would be told. In addition, if we move forward with another US donor, he said that before we finalize our choice we can tell the donor coordinator at the clinic the ID numbers of the potential donors and they will find out if they are a proven donor, and if they've donated through our clinic, the will tell us how many eggs were retrieved and if any pregnancies were achieved. I think this is great.
So, that's it for now.
We head over to the clinic for noon and made ourselves comfortable while we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally at 2:30....yes, 2:30!!!....we had the opportunity to sit down with him and chat. There really wasn't much he could tell us.
1. He doesn't know why the cycle failed as we had excellent embryos. We did assisted hatching. All was good from our end. He checked with the donor coordinator to find out how the other couple fared who shared our donor. It turns out they were unsuccessful as well. Although I don't wish ill on them, and had hoped they had achieved a pregnancy, it indicates that the problem was with the donor not us.
2. My age is not a factor.
3. He wouldn't do anything differently next time (if there is a next time).
4. He doesn't have anything against DHEA but doesn't recommend it at my age of 47.5 years. He said perhaps if I were 40 he might consider it.
5. Donor embryos are an option but there is a waiting list. He thinks we'd be on a "special" list as we are a biracial couple. Obviously we'd prefer a biracial donor, but we aren't saying that's a requirement. We've been put on the waiting list and I will call the nurse that manages this aspect of the clinic and ask her what the current wait is. The cost for this not much more than a FET so it is manageable....if donor embryos are available.
6. We discussed the in house donor program. Again, we were put on the waiting list. In retrospect we should have completed this step back when we first met with him in May/07 but better late than never. So we were given the donor application form to complete and send back with the info about us and what we're looking for in a donor. The wait for this can be anywhere from 12-18 months but that's not precise. The cost for a donor cycle would be about $5K less than using the US agency.
7. Our other option would be if we knew someone locally 21-36 (donors at both the clinic and the agency are between 21-32) who wanted to be our donor. Unfortunately we don't. So that's a long shot and one I'm not even really considering. However it would be sooooo cool. :)
So now we kind of are in limbo. We will carry on as normal. If we're lucky enough to "find" the money and to do another fresh cycle with a donor from the US agency, we would definitely choose a different donor. I would hope this time we had enough money to enable us not to have to share the donor this time. One thing I did mention is that with the US agency they don't tell us if the donor is proven. With the local donor, we would be told. In addition, if we move forward with another US donor, he said that before we finalize our choice we can tell the donor coordinator at the clinic the ID numbers of the potential donors and they will find out if they are a proven donor, and if they've donated through our clinic, the will tell us how many eggs were retrieved and if any pregnancies were achieved. I think this is great.
So, that's it for now.
Monday, April 14, 2008
I'm still here
There really isn't much going on. I'm okay. We've got our follow up with the RE this Saturday. I've got a list of things to ask him such as:
- why does he think both cycles failed
- is my age (47) a factor at this point
- is there anything he thinks we could do differently next time
- what does he think about using DHEA as an option (thanks Aurelia)
- if they have donor embryos available and the cost
- what's the waiting list for in house donors through the clinic and cost
- does he have any affiliation/connection with available donors through other local clinics?
Does anyone have any suggestions of other stuff we should be asking about?
- why does he think both cycles failed
- is my age (47) a factor at this point
- is there anything he thinks we could do differently next time
- what does he think about using DHEA as an option (thanks Aurelia)
- if they have donor embryos available and the cost
- what's the waiting list for in house donors through the clinic and cost
- does he have any affiliation/connection with available donors through other local clinics?
Does anyone have any suggestions of other stuff we should be asking about?
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