So as you may recall V and I had decided to pursue the use of donor embryos at our clinic. This required a counseling session which we had in mid September. It took until the first week of January before we got confirmation that the report had been completed and received. I figured, great, we should be getting profiles shortly since she said she would keep an eye out for potential matches. (Remember, we were told we were top of the list an they had embryo donors in place, at least as far as we knew.) No such luck. Because V and I weren't in a rush to move forward due to other financial commitments I didn't bug the coordinator at the clinic. That was January.
However, it's now March. In fact it was exactly six months less 6 days since we had our counseling session when I decided I was tired of waiting. I figured I'd give her a poke to remind her we were still here. So I sent a friendly email asking where we stood on donor embryo profiles. It was 5 days before I received a reply which contained two profiles. I was actually considering calling the clinic to see if she was still working there.
The first profile contains two documents outlining the personal/medical history of both the sperm and egg donors. Both in their early 40s three years ago. That in itself isn't a big deal as it is all in when the embryos were created. What I did notice was that they had three children - a 6 year old and 3 year old twins one of whom has Downs Syndrome and couple of other medical issues. My guess were that the eggs were retrieved when the woman was 35-36 as she was 42 at the time form was completed.
The second profile contained only one document which we assumed to be the female. (The coordinator had removed "Wife" and "Husband" off the forms but due to my queries is considering putting them back on".) It said she was 41 with a 6 year old, no medical issues for anyone and again, my guess was that she was 35-36 when the eggs were retrieved.
Obviously if we're going to use donor embryos we would like for the eggs to have come from someone younger than mid-thirties, or at least I would.
So, my email back was to thank her for the profiles and ask the ages of the women at the time of embryo creation and where was the medical information for the sperm donor in the second profile. Her reply a day later confirmed one thing for me. ED#1 was 36 when the embryos were created. ED#2 - the profile turned out to be for the husband because an egg donor was used who was 28 at retrieval.
So, we had been leaning to #2 for other reasons but the age of the egg donor definitely was more favourable to me. I did think, though, that the donor couple should have been able to provide some medical history for their egg donor as they would have had it when they were choosing her.
So I told V that we're not in a rush, we don't have to accept this donor (#2) and we can ask if there any other profiles. I also am considering asking if there is medical history for the egg donor.
We won't be in any position to move forward until after July some time. I'm taking advantage of the forced delay to lose some weight which I know is good for me regardless.
I just wonder if all clinics work this way for embryo donors or am I expecting too much from her?
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I think if a clinic says they want us to do something, and we comply and do what we need to, then they should get off their ass and do the same. I am not enamored by their laissez-faire attitude.
I wonder how many donor embryos they have placed? Is it a fairly new thing they are doing? It doesn't sound too organized.
I know my clinic is looking into doing a donor embryo program, they just haven't figured out the logistics.
I agree with you on a younger age for the egg donor - I am in my mid 30's and my eggs are shit. :)
I agree with you that the embryo donor who used an egg donor should have info on that donor. When we used egg donation, I asked if I could have a copy of the donor profile, and my doctor said, "Sure. Not many couples ask for that." I'm thinking "What? Why not?" I guess if they don't plan on telling their kids about coming from donor eggs, maybe that's why. Anyway, keep looking and be choosy- it's worth it. I agree too that embryo donation is so new that the protocol may be sketchy, but it will improve. Take care and best wishes to you!
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