I'm still here....

I'm not sure if anyone else is though. LOL.

Apparently I last posted in September. That's pretty sad. But then again, there hasn't been a whole lot going on.

V and I still have to move, that hasn't changed, but we're seriously considering a huge downsize. It's time we took control of our living situation, and not gave that control to someone else. So we're considering moving into a 2 bedroom (maybe 3 depending on price) apartment and purging everything we don't require. We are currently in a large 4 bedroom house and have tons of stuff. So, we are planning on liquidating everything we don't need. For those of you who know us IRL, that's huge. Our plan is to give ourselves 1-2 years in this new place with the expectation that at the end of that period we will have cleaned up our finances AND saved enough for a downpayment. I think it's do-able.

V and I had the above conversation in the car on our way back from a weekend visit to my BIL/SIL in our nation's capital. Ad we were lucky enough to meet up with Gil, her DH and Petite. Three hours sitting around a table is just not long enough. But, we've got a weekend tentatively booked for them to come hang out with us. Woohoo!!!

During that converstion, I posed the question to V. "what if our final cycle is successful" in regards to space in this new place. There was silence to which I added "or don't you want to do this anymore". I knew I had put him on the spot, and when he said "I didn't want to have this conversation in the car", I knew my answer. We had a frank conversation as we drove. He explained how he felt and why, and that he didn't want me to have to go through this anymore. We had tried so many times. I explained to him that with the failed cycle 3 years ago, we never got the chance to do the last attempt, and with that cycle we were doing a number of things differently in the hopes it was the one. I told him that I needed to do this final cycle, that I had to do it. It would be the only way I would be able to close the book on this chapter of our lives, regardless of the outcome. I also told him that we almost had all of the funds we needed through my saving each month and that given our current saving scheme, I figured about 10 weeks would be it. He was worried that if the cycle fails that he will have a partner who will always be sad and unhappy. I assured him that this wasn't the case. Yes I would be sad, but I wouldn't let it affect us or our relationship, and that time would heal everything. So, given our conversation we are back on track and hoping to accelerate the saving plan to get to our goal before the end of March.

So, to close out, I figured I'd give you some photos of some of the projects I had in the November and December.

These were some of the cookies I did in November for my cousin's daughter's wedding.

These next two pics are of chocolate covered strawberries also done for the wedding, made to look like tuxedos and wedding gowns. I did some in milk and some in dark chocolate.

The Jack Skellington cookies were done as a surprise for the daughter of a my "sister from another mister". She is a huge fan of the movie franchise and I knew she would get a kick out of them.

Finally, this was the 4th birthday cake for her little brother

Happy Birthday to me.

Yep, today is my birthday. It's really nothing special. V and I have on plans, perhaps grab sushi for dinner. I'm not even making myself a cake. :) I've had enough cake lately due to some family gatherings to last me a while. And since we have a wedding in 6 weeks, I'm trying to be good. I've still got my goal to lose 10-20lbs by the time we're finally able to cycle. I'm hoping that might happen in 6 months. I feel like I keep pushing the date back. Sigh. It's always something. The lastest wrench we got thrown at us was by our landlord who came to tell us personally that she will be selling the house. Not immediately, thankfully. She's given us as much time as we need, but likely March or April next year. So add that the the pile of financial requirements we have. I really feel that sometimes we're being told to give up this idea of a child, and move on to something else. Except I can't. I know that I'm in a minority (at least in our cirlces) where at 52 I could be having our first (and only) child.

I hope my birthday wish comes true.

Edited to add:

Oh, and today is Yom Kippur, the holiest of days in the Jewish calendar. As most of you may recall, although Jewish, I'm not observant, so I'm not fasting and I don't go to services. This is the third time it's fallen on this day. It happens every 19 years, so on previous occurences, I got to celebrate by fasting. We usually ended up having the birthday dinner another night.

Still here...

but nothing is going on.

It's been quite a while since I posted...June or July I think. I figured it was time to say "I'm still here". But there isn't anything happening. It's been a quiet summer really. V has been working as have I. No cakes to do since June, although that hasn't stopped me from making cupcakes etc, just because. We are still plugging along putting money aside little by little.

My birthday is in 3 weeks. I had really hoped to have cycled by then but that isn't going to happen. I really, really can't be doing this in a year or it will all have been a big waste of time. According to the RE's office, this birthday is the start of my last year of being able to try. I need to be able to put closure on this whole journey either by knowing we've been successful, or ..... (I'm not saying it out loud). I'm aiming for March at this point. That's 7 months. More than enough time to save the remaining funds we need. I'm also going to make a concerted effort to try and drop some of this weight. Even it it's just 20lbs, I'll be happy with that. I've found it extremely hard over the last 6 months to get it to budge.

As those of you who follow me on FB know, I had started a running program on July 1st. I was quite determined and really stuck with it for 5 weeks although there was no change in my weight. I had to put it on hold August 6 due to a major flare up of plantar fascitis. It's been three weeks and I've not been able start up again. I've got some insoles from bare.foot sci.ence on order and they should help and hopefully let me get back on the treadmill. Because right now, it can be quite painful just to walk. I'd really like to get back to that Couch to 5K program I started. I don't really have any desire to run a 5K but just that I could do so would be enough.

Anyway, I continue to read most blog even though I may not comment. So if you're writing, I'm reading.

I am a bad blogger. Anyone still out there?

I can't believe I last blogged on February 29th. That's terrible!
It's probably because there's really nothing been happening. When last we spoke we were a couple of months away from having the funds we needed. However, due to circumstances, we had to borrow from them and we're back to replenishing them. To say I'm not disappointed would be a lie, but it is what is is and we'll roll with it. I know that it will happen.

So in the mean time I give you cakes that I have worked on in the last 8 weeks.

I'm not sure I've ever mentioned it, but on of V's favourite foods is pancakes. His birthday is the our long weekendin May and we always have a big barbeque for the start of the summer BBQ season. So I made him a pancake cake for his birthday. I didn't get a picture of it cut, but it was a vanilla cake with a strawberry swiss meringue buttercream.

The following weekend we were celebrating my sister in law's birthday. She was having a big birthday in our nation's capital, so I had to make a cake that was going to be able to travel 4 hours. On top of that, we were in the midst of a heat wave and our a/c was out. Needless to say, this one was a challenge, but I'm thrilled with how it turned out. Seventies themed inside and out. :) This was a vanilla cake with vanilla-orange buttercream.

Next up was my cousin's son's Bar Mitzvah. All year long Evan had been telling me and everyone else I was making his cake. When the date was coming up, V, his mom and I decided that the best was an iPad cake since it was the one device he was hoping to get. The cake was a devils food cake with a chocolate buttercream.

After a weekend off, my nephew's son was turning 3 and he asked me to make his birthday cake. His son wanted a Hulk cake so this is what I came up with. His was a triple chocolate fudge cake with a vanilla buttercream.

And finally, my mother in law's birthday was last weekend. She had planned a large party and asked if I would make her cake. Since she had decided to have a prayer meeting to start, V suggested a book cake so I wrote her favourite psalm on it. This is a vanilla cake and a vanilla buttercream.