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Friday, August 02, 2013

Check In

It's been almost 2 months since I last posted. 
I don't think a day goes by that I don't think about that last cycle.  Possibly because we're still paying for it.

I think it was yesterday that my mind did the calculations as to where I'd be if we had been successful  About 9 weeks I think - 3 weeks away from giving news to family.  Ah well.

Anyway, we've moved on.  We had no choice.  The transfer was slap dab in the middle of the move from hell.  We were moving out of a 2400 square foot rental home into what ended up being four, (4!!!) 16 foot storage containers.  Our goal, had we even begun to start months earlier, had been to purge a lot of stuff and really get rid of what we didn't need, or use anymore.  However, as seems to be our way, we delayed and procrastinated until it was too late.  So, we spent the better part of May and June packing.  Everything.  We had the intention of downsizing drastically to move into a 2-3 bedroom apartment, basement even, in order to save money to clear debt and get into our own house.   Well, things didn't work out that way.

We bought a house.

Yep, we did it!  With the help of a company that works with people who don't have the down payment and a fantastic realtor, we were able to get into a great 3 bedroom back split about 10 minutes from where we were.  It's a really great layout, in a terrific neighbourhood, and it even came with a hot tub!  We closed (and moved in) June 28th.  We ended up storing all of our stuff for a month and lived with my mom for 3 weeks.  We told no one.  We upset some people with the secrecy but a previous home buying experience 13 years ago that didn't pan out and caused us to lose the house of our dreams had us keep it all quiet.  We weren't saying anything until we had those keys in our hand.  Then we knew we'd done it.

So now we are living amongst a sea of boxes, well more like a mountain as that first container was ALL boxes.  I've painted two of the three bedrooms so far (one was a must as it was a fuschia pink and gray) and will be moving on to the family room this weekend.  The kitchen has been ripped out entirely (just the fridge and stove, not even a sink) as it is being replaced in the next 2 weeks.  Yep, ripped out a bit prematurely by V but that's okay.   We are slowly working our way through the boxes and purging as we go.  There will be lots going.  And we've done a fair bit of freecycling both before we moved and now.

So that's where we are now.  I had to turn down a wedding cake order for the Labour Day weekend partially because I don't have a kitchen and don't have my equipment accessible, but moreso because we're on vacation the last week of August.  We had plans to go to New York City for a few days.  It's been a long time since either of us have been, and never together.  We wanted to take in a few shows and I really wanted to go to the 9-11 memorial.  However, we've cancelled those plans because WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!  So I'm okay with that.  It was going to be partly an early birthday trip for me as well.  As I said to V, we'll just go over Valentine's Day.  So, hopefully we can do that.

Oh and on a completely unrelated note, I've given up on Feedly as a reader.  I was on Google Reader and moved over to Feedly before July 1st.  And it worked fine.  Until about 2 weeks ago when it decided that it was no longer going to show me my unread posts.  Which made it really difficult to see which blogs had updated.  So yesterday I switched over to The Old Reader.  So far so good.  It has the look of Google Reader and I like it.

Anyway, that's all there is for now.

Thursday, June 06, 2013

Negative

There's really not much else to say.
We're done.
They said they've put me back on the list, but I don't think so.
It's time to move on.
Sigh.
Not what I wanted.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Two on board

So today was transfer day.  My call was for 12 noon with a full bladder, arriving 15 minutes before.
I was up early although I had gone to bed really late.  I was doing packing and getting stuff tied up for recycling last night and wanted to get it done.  Plus I was watching the last few episodes of season 4 of True Blood.

Anyway, I let the house about 10 minutes later than planned for no good reason.  Traffic was normal and so I arrived about 11:55am, so that 10 minutes made me late.  But I still was Zen.  I had been told by the business manager to stop stressing about money and just be Zen.  So I paid attention. :)

I arrived at the IVF suite and got changed into those lovely booties, and two gowns.  I had chugged about a litre of water as I was driving down but I wasn't getting the full bladder feeling.  I signed the form they gave me with the instructions following transfer, handed in the signed consent form (even though they had a scanned copy) and waited perhaps 10 minutes at which point the nurse came back and said "ready to go into the room"?  Sure.  Apparently the doctor was on his way over. So he was definitely on schedule and it sounded like I was the first procedure.  I saw another woman waiting with her husband when I went in for my transfer but he wasn't there when I came out so she must have been in for a retrieval.  

I assume the position.  There really is no way to describe just how naked you feel when he's got you all exposed and legs in the stirrups. LOL.  The ultrasound tech came in and was quick to get in position.  And my concern about not having a full bladder?  Gone as soon as she pressed down.  Definitely a full bladder.

One of the three didn't survive the thaw, so we had two to transfer.   He had the embryologist show my name on the dish and then show me the embryos on screen (I didn't have my phone so didn't get a photo). These were three day embryos.   I didn't ask how many cells because it wouldn't have made a difference.  They were going in and I was staying Zen. :)  But he did say they were excellent and they did look really good to me.   So, it was but a few minutes later when he said "all done, perfect transfer".  And that was it.   I lay there another 10 minutes and that was it.

I've taken it easy today.  I know the rules - no heavy lifting, no strenuous exercise (no worries there), stay on all meds.  Beta is June 6th.  If we get a positive, then when I'm back for the second beta I'll do another intralipid infusion.

So let the two week wait begin.  Hopefully there will be enough distraction. LOL.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

We have ignition and are moving towards liftoff

I was back at the clinic on the 16th for cycle monitoring and the Intralipid infusion.
I was booked for 8:30am for the intralipid so I needed to get in before that for ultrasound and blood work.  Their process has definitely improved since I was last there.
 
I got down a bit later than I had planned only because I left a little later and didn't know what the traffic would be like.  So I was in the clinic about 8:15am.  I signed up on the doctor's list and marked that I would be over in the OR for the Intralipid so he wouldn't see me until later.  I then signed up on the ultrasound list and took my  number (23) and walked over to sign in for blood.  I think I waited maybe 5 minutes before my name was called.  I went back over to wait to be called for ultrasound. It shouldn't have been more than 15 minutes because I heard them call "19, 20, 21, 22, 24)....what???  Where's 23?  Turns out my file was over on the OR side so they had to go get it before they could call me.  It was about another 10 minutes before I was called and told to wait by one of the U/S rooms.
By the time I got over to the OR for the Intralipid it was about 9-9:15am.
 
One of my favourite nurses from 2010 is now the manager over there, so it was nice to see her.  She didn't think I'd remember her. :)
 
Anyway, they went through the necessary steps to get the IV in and get me all hooked up.  I'm sitting in one of their reclining massage chairs.  I got it positioned with my feet and head back to a comfortable position and turned off the massage and settled in for the next 2 hours.  I just wanted to be comfy to watch my Tr.ue Blo.od episodes on my iPad.    It's a painless process.  They hooked up saline first and then hooked up the Intralipid which is this white soy/egg based product.  They asked me 3 times if I was allergic to either (I'm not) and then it was going.  I had a blood pressure cuff on the whole time which took my pressure every 15 minutes.  Once it was done, they ran saline through the line to make sure it was all through.   Then I was disconnected from the IV and headed back over to the other side to see the doctor and the nurse.
 
 
It was about 11:30am when I got back over and barely busy.  I checked back in at the desk so they knew I was back and went to sit down.  I saw the Doctor in an office finishing up a file  so I'm thinking "great, it won't be too long".  Next thing I know I see him at the desk and then watch him head over to the OR.  Damn!  He's gone to do a procedure or two.  So I head back to the desk and express my displeasure that he didn't see me before he went over because it could be another 1-2 hour wait for me.  Apparently the person I checked in with had gone for lunch and not mentioned that I was waiting so he didn't know.    In any case, my rather frustrated tone got my point across that I had been there since 8:15am and doing the intralipid so waiting wasn't acceptable.  Turns out he had a retrieval and a transfer and at that time he was almost done the retrieval.  So my wait was about 15 additional minutes before I saw him. 
 
We set transfer for the 23rd (they'll call with a time) because he's in surgery on the 24th and he said my lining was good.  It was 12 and as I said to him, I've never had an issue building my lining.  So then I headed back out and ran into my  nurse who I had to see next. 
 
She really is awesome.  She's made every effort to get it set up so that I could buy all of my meds through the pharmacy rather than through the clinic.  In the past I've always had to buy the progesterone in oil from the clinic because it was specially formulated for them.  It still is, but it's made by the pharmacist who is in the pharmacy in the building.  So, I was able to go down and get all the meds I need.  However, it turns out that because the PIO is a compounded medication, I still had to pay for it and will have to submit for reimbursement.  That's okay because I can buy the number of vials I need if funds are low that week.  Each vial is 5 injections so I can time it as needed. 
 
So, I'm still taking 4mg of Estrace three times a day, and 5mg of Prednisone twice a day.  I am still doing the 81mg low dose aspirin, plus I take 5mg of Folic Acid, 100mg B6 and 1000mcg of B12, and I've added a multi vitamin.
 
She's now added, starting on the 20th, 100mg of Doxycycline twice a day for three days.   This is a standard antibiotic that is used before all transfers.  I'm to take 16mg of Medrol once a day for 4 days starting on the 20th as well.  They had just started using Medrol when I was there in 2010 but I never got the chance to see if it would help us.  It's used to aid in implantation.   Also on the 20th we're starting the PIO, 2ml once a day.  In the past, I've never been told that there is a time in the day that would be better to do the injection so I've always had V give me the shot before I head to bed as there is more time.  However, she told me that she recommends that it be given in the morning because you're moving around for the rest of the day, rather than relaxing or going to bed, so it's easier for it to dissipate.  I still have to look up the best ways to "prep" the area before the shot. LOL.   And finally, I'm going to be adding 2500iu of Fragmin (which is the same as heparin) starting the day of transfer. 
 
I did find out from our benefits companies that mine won't pay for the Intralipid at all (not a surprised) and V's says no but seems to have a way it might be covered.  The Canadian Drug Association says it has to be administered by a hospital to be covered which means the hospital covers it.  However the clinic is part of the hospital system here, so I'm going to get a letter from them stating this in the hopes we can get these infusions covered.  At $330 per infusion, it would be really good to get it covered.
 
So I've had the first infusion which is given 7-10 days prior to the transfer date. So because we did the the intralipid on May 16 it would be optimal for the embryo transfer to take place between May 23 and May 26.   So we're set for the 23rd.  If pregnancy is achieved, the second intralipid would be scheduled within 2-5 days of a positive blood test.  I'm hoping we reach that point and then I'll try for a Saturday infusion so I don't have to be late for work. The intralipid are then scheduled at 6 weeks, 8weeks, 10 weeks, and 12 weeks. 
 
I've also spoken with the business manager and arranged a payment plan which spreads the payments out over three months...four really based on when I asked her to hold the second payment to after June 28th.  She offered to wait until after my billing date.  :)   My first installment needs to be paid before transfer.  Normally I would have stopped in just before transfer but she won't let me. LOL.  I will send her an email this week to have her charge my card and she'll leave me a copy of the receipt.  And she told me to be zen. LOL....not let any stress get to me at all.
 
I'm trying not to let hope creep in yet.  But it's hard.  Everything is just falling into place this time, like it is meant to be. 
 
All bits are crossed.