So, fellas, if you were unaware, today is "Steak & Sex Day" in the GTA (as per Flow 93.5). Yes, as the name applies, all males are supposed to be indulging in both titled items today. It is an event promoted as the males Valentine's Day compensation, where all you poor lads dished out big to get flowers, cards, gifts, lingerie and dinners in the hopes of promoting a conducive environment and attitude to get you some. Tsk tsk tsk. Save your money because your getting any was preordained a long time ago.
So, anyhow, today, an exact month after Valentine's Day, we are supposed to be the center of attention. That is where my dilemna begins and ends. First, steak is out of the question as I have no Roo today since Pam drove me to work and we are out to dinner at our aunt's house tonight. Maybe she's cooking steak? Highly unlikely. Second, well, let's just say I won't be joining NASA for a very long time.
And then the lady has the audacity to have this exchange with me on the way in today on the 401 east:
"Honey?," I ask. "Why do you drive on this side of the highway?", referring to her being in the collector's instead of the express lanes this morning when the express was moving quicker.
"I always drive on this side," she replies. "I like going in and out all the time."
"Not lately," I reply quickly and wait for the back hand.
And wait. And wait. And wait. SLAP!
"Took you long enough," I say, laughing.
"Pregnancy brain," she replies with a smile.
"Your entire life?," I reply quickly again.
SLAP! Again.
Gotta stop using my outside voice. :)
So fellas, for a guy who has to go vegetarian today, do the male nation proud and be all that you can be. Be an astronaut!
V.
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