Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Happy Birthday to me.

Yep, today is my birthday. It's really nothing special. V and I have on plans, perhaps grab sushi for dinner. I'm not even making myself a cake. :) I've had enough cake lately due to some family gatherings to last me a while. And since we have a wedding in 6 weeks, I'm trying to be good. I've still got my goal to lose 10-20lbs by the time we're finally able to cycle. I'm hoping that might happen in 6 months. I feel like I keep pushing the date back. Sigh. It's always something. The lastest wrench we got thrown at us was by our landlord who came to tell us personally that she will be selling the house. Not immediately, thankfully. She's given us as much time as we need, but likely March or April next year. So add that the the pile of financial requirements we have. I really feel that sometimes we're being told to give up this idea of a child, and move on to something else. Except I can't. I know that I'm in a minority (at least in our cirlces) where at 52 I could be having our first (and only) child.

I hope my birthday wish comes true.

Edited to add:

Oh, and today is Yom Kippur, the holiest of days in the Jewish calendar. As most of you may recall, although Jewish, I'm not observant, so I'm not fasting and I don't go to services. This is the third time it's fallen on this day. It happens every 19 years, so on previous occurences, I got to celebrate by fasting. We usually ended up having the birthday dinner another night.

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Still here...

but nothing is going on.

It's been quite a while since I posted...June or July I think. I figured it was time to say "I'm still here". But there isn't anything happening. It's been a quiet summer really. V has been working as have I. No cakes to do since June, although that hasn't stopped me from making cupcakes etc, just because. We are still plugging along putting money aside little by little.

My birthday is in 3 weeks. I had really hoped to have cycled by then but that isn't going to happen. I really, really can't be doing this in a year or it will all have been a big waste of time. According to the RE's office, this birthday is the start of my last year of being able to try. I need to be able to put closure on this whole journey either by knowing we've been successful, or ..... (I'm not saying it out loud). I'm aiming for March at this point. That's 7 months. More than enough time to save the remaining funds we need. I'm also going to make a concerted effort to try and drop some of this weight. Even it it's just 20lbs, I'll be happy with that. I've found it extremely hard over the last 6 months to get it to budge.

As those of you who follow me on FB know, I had started a running program on July 1st. I was quite determined and really stuck with it for 5 weeks although there was no change in my weight. I had to put it on hold August 6 due to a major flare up of plantar fascitis. It's been three weeks and I've not been able start up again. I've got some insoles from bare.foot sci.ence on order and they should help and hopefully let me get back on the treadmill. Because right now, it can be quite painful just to walk. I'd really like to get back to that Couch to 5K program I started. I don't really have any desire to run a 5K but just that I could do so would be enough.

Anyway, I continue to read most blog even though I may not comment. So if you're writing, I'm reading.

Monday, July 02, 2012

I am a bad blogger. Anyone still out there?

I can't believe I last blogged on February 29th. That's terrible!
It's probably because there's really nothing been happening. When last we spoke we were a couple of months away from having the funds we needed. However, due to circumstances, we had to borrow from them and we're back to replenishing them. To say I'm not disappointed would be a lie, but it is what is is and we'll roll with it. I know that it will happen.

So in the mean time I give you cakes that I have worked on in the last 8 weeks.

I'm not sure I've ever mentioned it, but on of V's favourite foods is pancakes. His birthday is the our long weekendin May and we always have a big barbeque for the start of the summer BBQ season. So I made him a pancake cake for his birthday. I didn't get a picture of it cut, but it was a vanilla cake with a strawberry swiss meringue buttercream.

The following weekend we were celebrating my sister in law's birthday. She was having a big birthday in our nation's capital, so I had to make a cake that was going to be able to travel 4 hours. On top of that, we were in the midst of a heat wave and our a/c was out. Needless to say, this one was a challenge, but I'm thrilled with how it turned out. Seventies themed inside and out. :) This was a vanilla cake with vanilla-orange buttercream.

Next up was my cousin's son's Bar Mitzvah. All year long Evan had been telling me and everyone else I was making his cake. When the date was coming up, V, his mom and I decided that the best was an iPad cake since it was the one device he was hoping to get. The cake was a devils food cake with a chocolate buttercream.

After a weekend off, my nephew's son was turning 3 and he asked me to make his birthday cake. His son wanted a Hulk cake so this is what I came up with. His was a triple chocolate fudge cake with a vanilla buttercream.

And finally, my mother in law's birthday was last weekend. She had planned a large party and asked if I would make her cake. Since she had decided to have a prayer meeting to start, V suggested a book cake so I wrote her favourite psalm on it. This is a vanilla cake and a vanilla buttercream.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Update of sorts - UPDATED!

I can't believe it's been 8 weeks since I last posted. I can't say that there's been any great reason to post. No news. No cakes.

However, I do have an update of sorts now. Since just before Christmas I've been setting aside any funds I've made from cakes, cookies and lottery scratch tickets. I've managed to save what I thought was about 33% of what we needed. With that, and another plan in place we have, we calculated that we should be good to go in June. That's only three months away! I was very pleased.

However, I voiced a fear to V that I had been holding off contacting the clinic because I was afraid that a) the price had gone up, b) they'd given away the embryos we'd decided on because it was almost a year later, or c) that the clinic might have changed their guidelines regarding age and lowered it, aging me out of the program. V said just send the email. So I did on Monday. And it bounced. Which meant that the coordinator of the program last April was no longer with the clinic. Great.

So, I had to call the clinic to find out who had taken over the program. i didn't want to have to explain to multiple people why I was calling, so rather than actually talk to someone there, I listened to their, now very long, outgoing message to hear all the different numbers to call for nurses, cycle monitorig, sperm bank, yada yada yada. I had to listen twice to hear the number for the Ovum Donor Coordinator. I figured that was a good place to start. I called the number and she's on vacation but she left the name and number of the person covering for her. Oh goody. So I called her and got her voice mail. I left a somewhat rambling message about why I was calling, hoped she was the right person and left my cell number.

She called back the next morning. While I was in the shower. So I missed her call. But that's okay. She wasn't the right person, but rather than ask me to call her, she left me the name of the person and her email address. I think that may have been because I'd indicated that I'd sent an email initially. In any case, I'm glad she did because it allowed me to compose a comprehensive email for the Embryo Donation Coordinator.

I sent off an email that provided a brief history of our DE IVF cycles and their outcomes. As well I outlined what had taken place since our final (cancelled) cycle in July 2010 in terms what we experienced regarding booking the counseling session, actually meeting with the counselor, how long it took to get the report, choosing and locking in a profile and the unexpected loss of my father-in-law in July. I felt it was important that she knew why we hadn't moved forward as planned and that we hadn't flaked out on them. I told her that besides introducing ourselves in the email, I wanted to make sure that everything was still on track for us.

I heard back from her today with answers to two of my three questions.

1. Cost - we were working with a figure of $2200 as told to us, in July 2010, for the cycle. Apparently that's now jumped to $3000. Ack!!!
2. Age - I was worried that I'd aged out and wanted to be sure that my RE still worked with women to age 52 when using donor embryos. Apparently I am still eligible up to my 53rd birthday. Score!!!
3. I wanted to make sure that we still had the embryos that we had locked in with the previous coordinator in April 2011. Her response indicates that she can't answer this question. My file is pretty big, so I'm sure she's going through it, especially the last stuff with the previous coordinator. But her response of:

"I am trying to get to the bottom of your file and see if everything is in place - since ashley left we have 'revamped' the program so I just need to get all your paper work up to speed and will be back to you with more details this week."

I'm really hoping this does not mean that somewhere someone dropped the ball and another couple got the embryos we selected. If it means that there are more to choose from, and possibly interracial embryos (a real long shot), then it's not too bad. But when we were presented with profiles, we were given three. And we chose the couple that had used an egg donor in her 20s. The other two profiles had the women in their mid-late 30s. If this is our last shot, I want to optimize our chances if possible.

Anyway, that's where we are now. I've sent back an email asking her to clarify why the fee went up so much in 18 months (if she can). I've told her that it doesn't change our intent, just will delay us a little longer. As I said to V, the silver lining in all this is that even though I really want to do this cycle sooner rather than later, I don't have to get in there before September.


I heard back from the coordinator. She doesn't know why the price has gone up but she did confirm that there are three 3-day embryos waiting for us whenever we're ready to go. So I'm feeling a bit better about this now. When we're able to do the cycle I'll get in touch and then go in on CD2 or CD3.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Happy New Year

I know, I'm five days late to say that, but better late than never. :)

I hope you all enjoyed your holidays and I wish everyone health, happiness and prosperity in the coming year. And I hope that you all achieve your goals as we move forward. (How's that for mushy? ;) )

Anyway, there really isn't anything going on. December was very busy for V and I with hosting our various holiday events we do every year. Chrisdtmas was quieter for us in that we only had 15 for dinner. Yes, I said only. We've had one year where we had 32! Some family and close friends we consider family. We raised our glasses and toasted those who were no longer with us, as well as those who were unable to travel to join us. All in all, a fun filled day was had by all.

On the IF front, we're still in a holding pattern trying to set aside funds. February isn't looking good. I cringe as I look at the calendar knowing that time is ticking away and I've got 8 months. I really don't want to be still waiting in July. Please don't let it take that long.... That biological clock we all hear ticking as we get older? It's like a frickin' gong now.

Anyway, that's it for now. I'm going to leave you with some photos of some my creations from December.

Gingerbread house!

Cupcakes I made for our work Christmas party. Chocolate and vanilla with vanilla buttercream, decorated "Christmas-y".

Birthday cake for special 3 year old. The cupcake was a pan that baked an oversized cake in the shape of a cupcake which I sat on an 8" square. It's a strawberry cake with vanilla buttercream.

This was for a Welcome Baby party for a friend. An 8" cake on top and cupcakes below. The cupcakes were strawberry or vanilla both with vanilla buttercream, decorated in purple to match the baby's room with a flower or butterfly on top. The cake was alternating layers of strawberry and vanilla, with a strawberry puree and vanilla buttercream. Oh, and I made the cupcake stand.