I hope that everyone has had a good holiday. For V. and I it's been really really busy, and somewhat exhausting. I can't say that my vacation was very restful, but it was definitely enjoyable. We may have done a lot of entertaining, but being able to visit with his cousin who was in from Trinidad and my BIL and family from Ottawa was great. My expanding waistline indicates that the food was pretty good too. :) However, it's back on the wagon to get those pounds off again. Financially though it's been a pretty expensive December for us. With our move from hell at the beginning of the month, and then Christmas, we are running very lean right now. I know it will get better, but man I hate this right now.
I have to say I may have told a fib in my last post. I mentioned how nothing came from the last cycle and we've moved onto the next, herding cows with abandon. However, I mentioned that I didn't feel affected by the negatives each month because I don't expect this to work for us naturally. Sitting with V. the other day, having a quiet moment for ourselves, I found myself feeling melancholy and sad that another year had gone by and we were no closer to our goal. There I am with tears running down my face and V. not sure why. All I could tell him was that I didn't see how we were going to be able to do the IVF and I wasn't ready to give up on this yet. Yet I can't keep on as we are knowing that it's such a long shot that this may work. Some may disagree about us not being closer to our goal and say that we are closer I don't have the fibroids to deal with anymore. But all I see is a large mountain in front of us because I can't see where we're going to be able to find the money we need to move forward. D. is still willing and waiting for us to say go ahead. I just need to find that proverbial money tree or at least a willing lender . :)
Anyway, I hope everyone's Christmas and New Year was good. And I wish you all a happy, healthy, and (re)productive New Year!
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As I told you the other night - we'll find a way. You're not alone in this. We'll hold the mother of all garage sales, to start! I've got lots of Mark's stuff...er... I've got a couple of my things that I'd like to get rid of - and every bit helps, right?
If I had the money, it would be yours.
I had that cry yesterday (as you know), but I also had it on New Year's Eve before we came visiting.
I have to hope and believe, my friend, that this is our year. Some how, some way, you and I will be either pregnant or bitching about breastfeeding this time next year.
Blessed be!
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