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Monday, January 15, 2007

A few items...

In case some of you wonder, the reason I do not blog more here is due to several reasons. First, I do not have much to say on the subject. Anyone that knows me well knows that I tend to operate from the shadows, silent but deadly like a Splinter Cell agent. I do a lot of instigating and then I sit back and enjoy the show. However, that is for a different forum and a different blog. It took a lot for my wife to get up the courage to write about this very personal topic so I respect her space and leave her to it. I am here for support, the odd correction and humour when I can add it (though you already know, I am more than a little off center in that last regard).

So, today I am posting for a couple of reasons. I was reading some of my wife's previous posts in order to catch up (as I bug her to read mine all the time). What caught my eye this time was the post concerning the multiple births in British Columbia, Canada's first sextuplets. The part that I am concerned about was with reference to "selective reduction" as the medical term is used for what this Christian knows as abortion. I am not here to get on a moral or religious pulpit; I just cannot stand fancy terms being made up simply to conceal the true nature of something or to make something unpleasantly more palpable to those dealing with it. It is what it is and that is selective choosing which of our potential children lives and which dies. Now, being Roman Catholic one would think this is black and white for me, but it is not. If there is a chance that all children will have issues or we could lose more or even the mother, than it is without question that I would sanction the action. If, however, the doctor believes that we could bring them all to full term, then that is the ONLY choice we will have in my view. If we do not want the large number, then we do not transfer more than we are willing to handle; plain and simple. I am quite a balanced fellow at times so forgive my wife for forgetting that I do have some very high standards and rigid views on certain subjects.

The other reason I am posting is to welcome my extended family to the viewing of our blog. Saying the word "extended" seems funny to me because I do not view Pam's side as anything less than "family" because that is how they have treated me. Just know and understand that while you may not agree with certain things we have decided or will decide, and we do expect you to feel free to voice your concerns and objections, we do expect in the end that you will respect and support our decisions. As much as family is important to me, I can say it may even be more so for Pam. As independent as she is, she really wants to know that you are happy for her and there for her and that she can speak to you when I am the last person she thinks she can speak to. My advice going forward on this blog is that you read, absorb, participate but never assume. As I have told many a person, ask us a direct question and we will answer you with a direct answer. If you appear to be fishing for something else, then you will catch something else. In essence, don't be shy (as if you all could be) and don't be shocked. There is nothing going on in here but the pursuit of new life. Now how bad can that be? :)

Again, welcome and enjoy your stay. And do drop a comment in from time to time.

Ciao,
V.

3 comments:

Pam said...

I just wanted to clarify something for my husband so he knows that I haven't forgotten his views and standards on this subject. I don't think our doctor would even consider transferring more than three. She's the one that mentioned it to me mostly because of my age and the age of our donor. Most doctors won't even consider transferring more than two embryos and even then each case is evaluated individually. I can assure my husband that I don't want more than three transferred. I can deal with that, and the possible outcome.

Mother2b said...

I'm impressed with your blog and your ability to share so much with each other - and now your family. I don't find it as easy and I think about how in decades past, speaking about fertility issues, etc. was not for public consumption. Not that I'd go back to those days, but perhaps I feel that I need to protect myself from the hopes that my own family has for a grandchild that is reluctant to appear as yet.
I have a video blog in which I try to stay anonymous. I'm going to point my husband to your most recent post V. I think he'll appreciate it and also it might open his mind a bit more to the subject. Thanks. Look forward to reading more. If you are interested:
mother2bvlog.blogspot.com
frolics in (in)fertility armed only with a willing husband, a camera and waning biological resources.

Dtrini said...

Dear wife, I know you know, at least I think I should know. However, as we both know, that does not necessarily we actually do know. And, you know how much I hate people assuming that they know about me. So, it was just better that it was said, and clear, and, well, known, by all. You also know that I will not sacrifice your health regardless so we are on the same page. I just wanted our ever attentive public to also know.

Hello mother2b, really nice vlog you have there. I wish we were as creative and technically functional as you in order to do something similar. You may have inspired me to learn though so any help you can offer (i.e. camera, editing software, sound effects, etc.) would be appreciated. Just send them to my dtrini - at - gmail.com account (written out to foil the spammers). As for the topics and family, it is never an easy road but too much is happening in the world today for our generation to remain shy about things. The greatest and scarcest commodity we have is time. We need to make the best of it now because tomorrow is a freight train coming up fast to hit us.