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Friday, February 23, 2007

A Public Apology

I am driving my dear husband crazy.

V. and I have a ton of stuff going on between both our jobs, school for our 15 yr old, our daily commutes, continuing to unpack from our December move, finances, aging parents, and other general stress. Nothing that is really much different from anyone else. However, with my obsession with the task at hand, I'm making him feel as if he isn't as focused as I am. I would like to say here, for all to witness, that I know he is just as committed to this as I am. He's along for the ride, with all the bumps and hills we encounter. We both have our eyes on the prize.

He takes everything onto his very broad shoulders. Whereas, I am aware of all of it, but have this single minded focus where I so badly want to get on with the IVF and all it entails. There have been so many things to delay us on this road. The one I feel most responsible for is the year we lost because it was recommended we remove the fibroids I had. I do not for a minute regret doing that because if it means our chances of success have increased, even a tiny bit, then it was definitely worth it. Plus (TMI coming), it definitely helped me with my monthly cycles such that they aren't as long or as painful. So for that alone, it was worth doing. But, I can't help but look back on the past year and feel that had it been recommended to us that we deal with them before we even tried IUI, would we still be in the same place today.

I know, I'm crying over spilled milk. But because of it. all I think about, on a daily basis, is where we are, what we need to do, and how are we going to be able to get to the next step. This is not to say V. doesn't. But I'm driving him nuts because I make him feel like I think he doesn't want this as much as I do.

So, hon, I most humbly apologize here, in front of our family, friends and friends in the computer, and promise to do my very level best to try not to be so obsessed with everything. I love you very much and I there's nothing more that I want than to be the mother of your child(ren).


Pam


P.S. - To all loyal readers - anyone want to buy a 1999 T0y0ta C0rol1a with under 90,000km? :)

4 comments:

wizdom said...

ahhh

she lubs you...

Stacie said...

(((HUGS)))

As a fellow "proud" owner of fibroids, I hope that the fibroid removal does the trick for you, and that your first IVF cycle is successful.

Pam said...

LB - I lub you too. :)

Stacie. Thanks. We're hoping too. :)

skibum said...

Things will work and V is a good man... on the car front the middle boy is looking for a car we should talk.