So V. and I had our follow up with the doctor today. We were booked for 11:30am but I was told to call to see how his morning was shaping up. V. and I headed out about 9:30 this morning because we wanted to go down to the St. Law.rence Market before our appointment. We're visiting my brother's family next weekend in Chicago and he's asked us to bring down montreal-style bagels, hence the reason for our trip down to the market. Needless to say, by the time we got down there it was almost 10:30 and V just wanted me to run in and pick up the order, rather than our original plans to hit one of the butcher and seafood counters for steaks and shrimps or something for dinner. So by 10:45 we were back on route and I called into the clinic to check his status. We were told that he was a "little behind" and we should come in for noon. So we stopped in at my mother's for a short visit as I needed to pick up some cookbooks from her.
We head over to the clinic for noon and made ourselves comfortable while we waited. And waited. And waited. Finally at 2:30....yes, 2:30!!!....we had the opportunity to sit down with him and chat. There really wasn't much he could tell us.
1. He doesn't know why the cycle failed as we had excellent embryos. We did assisted hatching. All was good from our end. He checked with the donor coordinator to find out how the other couple fared who shared our donor. It turns out they were unsuccessful as well. Although I don't wish ill on them, and had hoped they had achieved a pregnancy, it indicates that the problem was with the donor not us.
2. My age is not a factor.
3. He wouldn't do anything differently next time (if there is a next time).
4. He doesn't have anything against DHEA but doesn't recommend it at my age of 47.5 years. He said perhaps if I were 40 he might consider it.
5. Donor embryos are an option but there is a waiting list. He thinks we'd be on a "special" list as we are a biracial couple. Obviously we'd prefer a biracial donor, but we aren't saying that's a requirement. We've been put on the waiting list and I will call the nurse that manages this aspect of the clinic and ask her what the current wait is. The cost for this not much more than a FET so it is manageable....if donor embryos are available.
6. We discussed the in house donor program. Again, we were put on the waiting list. In retrospect we should have completed this step back when we first met with him in May/07 but better late than never. So we were given the donor application form to complete and send back with the info about us and what we're looking for in a donor. The wait for this can be anywhere from 12-18 months but that's not precise. The cost for a donor cycle would be about $5K less than using the US agency.
7. Our other option would be if we knew someone locally 21-36 (donors at both the clinic and the agency are between 21-32) who wanted to be our donor. Unfortunately we don't. So that's a long shot and one I'm not even really considering. However it would be sooooo cool. :)
So now we kind of are in limbo. We will carry on as normal. If we're lucky enough to "find" the money and to do another fresh cycle with a donor from the US agency, we would definitely choose a different donor. I would hope this time we had enough money to enable us not to have to share the donor this time. One thing I did mention is that with the US agency they don't tell us if the donor is proven. With the local donor, we would be told. In addition, if we move forward with another US donor, he said that before we finalize our choice we can tell the donor coordinator at the clinic the ID numbers of the potential donors and they will find out if they are a proven donor, and if they've donated through our clinic, the will tell us how many eggs were retrieved and if any pregnancies were achieved. I think this is great.
So, that's it for now.