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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Crap crap crap

I got back last night from another long day of traveling, although not as bad as the trip down. I'm home for two days which is long enough to kiss my husband, hug the child, do laundry, get my beta test and pack again to leave Friday for Dallas.

Anyway, I got home last evening with an empty bladder because I was dying when I got off the plane. As you know I had an agreement with V. that I wouldn't POAS while I was away. So, I stayed true to my word and didn't. I did, however, pick up the pee sticks while I was away to make sure we had them. It wasn't until later in the evening that I peed on two different sticks and both came up negative. I was pretty resigned at that point that it was negative, but V. wanted to be sure with the blood test, as did I. I knew that I still had to go in this morning for the test.

I finally got out of the house way later than intended as it's a long drive downtown in rush hour. Got in. Did the test. Went to work. It's been agony waiting for the call. I've had concerned friends texting and msn-ing asking if I've heard. I think they were more anxious than we were. :)

The call came in a little while ago. Negative. If we want to do another cycle I just need to go in on CD2. I had to msn V. to let him know, since I'm at work. I know that if I'd called him, I would have lost it.

We have two frozen embryos. V. thought maybe we'd do one and one, but I told him that I'd rather do both on the next cycle because as we all know, they may not make it through the thaw. Anyway, we've decided that since I have one more trip for work coming up in January, we're going to wait until afterwards to do the cycle.

I don't want to think beyond that cycle if it doesn't work. I have no idea what we'll do. I have to admit, I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet. :(

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry guys. You have been waiting so long. I have been checking your blog daily to see how you are doing. I'm glad you were able to freeze two embryos to try again. My thoughts are with you two.
((((HUG))))
Daisy

Summer said...

I'm sorry. I was really hoping it worked for you guys.

Kami said...

I am so sorry. It is hard not to feel like it is a sure thing by the time you get to this point. I hope you have some magic embryos in the freezer.

Thalia said...

I'm so sorry, pam and dtrini. After all this waiting, what a horrible outcome.

PS on a froz cycle they can thaw one,see how it does and then thaw the other only if the first one croaks or looks crappy, if you want to put only 1 back at a time.

My Reality said...

I am sorry.

Lassie said...

I was sad to hear your news today and wanted you to know that I'm truly sorry it didn't work out for you.

Famine said...

Christine and I are deeply disappointed for you both. We really thought it was going to happen. All our love and best wishes for the next attempt.

Gil said...

Damn, damn, damn. Oh crap indeed. I was really hoping for you both and checking your blog like so many of us do the TP check... really! I was checking so frequently, it was bordering on obsessive.

As for the next go around, that is up to you as to whether you wish to put back one or two. Likely you can do either. I've got no helpful information other than to let you know I'm here for you and standing on the sidelines, cheering like a madman.

Sending love and best wishes to you and V. As always.

dmarie said...

I'm so sorry.

redsometimes said...

8====(

Baby Step said...

Oh Pam & V, I am SO sorry this didn't work out for you. I had very high hopes.

I have my beta tomorrow, I have a feeling I will be joining you in the post-BFN doldrums. :-(

Fertilize Me said...

I am very sorry about your negative beta. Very sorry

JJ said...

I am so sorry. Thinking of you today...

Aurelia said...

I'm so sorry. I know you were counting on this.

As for next steps, my RE is doing a RCT on DHEA, and he is enrolling lots of older women, who would normally do donor egg.

It's free, and if your frozen cycles don't work out, or you want to try it, let me know, I'll give you the info.

You could also just try taking DHEA anyway. There are women in NY who are your age who have had successful pregnancies with it. The only problem is that you have to take it for at least 4-6 months before it shows any results.

Bonus, it costs practically nothing, and if it doesn't work then your hair & skin will still look gorgeous.

Drowned Girl said...

I'm so sorry. Our fresh DE cycle failed, though the FET worked

xx

Dtrini said...

We thank you all for your sentiments. It really means a lot to the both of us. As AH-nold would say, we'll be back. :) Best of the season to you all.

Roni said...

I'm so, so sorry.

Patti said...

I haven't posted on here, but you two know that Mark and I are here whenever you need us. You know how we feel... we've chatted with you a lot about it.

Let's the four of us raise our glasses (that will actually have BOOZE in them) at New Year's and promise ourselves a better and more fruitful 2008.

Love you two so very much

m said...

My condolences to you both. I am so sorry.

M said...

Sorry I'm so late - but just wanted to say how sorry I am.