A family friend once told me long ago during a fairly difficult period in my life, "Don't worry about things you have no control over." I really believe in that and I do my best to let the uncontrollable events and trials in life roll off my back like so much water so I can move on. Unfortunately, sometimes, there are things that shift my attention and I end up fixated on something I know full well I am basically powerless to change or affect. It is these events and times in life that are the most mind-numbing and frustrating.
I speak about many things in this post, none of which I am at liberty to disucss right now (and this is not the right blog for those anyhow). That said, this whole process falls in that category because except for donating/producing/having extracted the seeds of life, I really have no control over this situation of ours. That annoys the hell out of me, frustrates me to no end, and keeps me up at night.
Most of all, it scares me.
I worked hard to have a modicrum of control over what happens to me, my immediate family and the things I worked hard for. It is not easy to place something so important to me and my family in someone else's hands (or tube, or lab or...). Sigh. Just venting today. Two more months. I'll be here. I'll be up. See you then.